It's hot. Like, really hot. My friends in the snowy north continuously remind/ask me if I would prefer -20 degrees and truthfully, I can't answer that question. But I know for sure I wouldn't prefer 40+...... and this is what we're dealing with here.
And now we've moved into a new apartment (yay!). So many great things about living on your own. But I've quickly discovered one bad thing. No air conditioning. C'mon, let's face it! We're straight broke and other things like food have taken priority over AC for now.... My only respite is the fact that I'm here alone in the apartment and yep. That means it's No Clothes-Ville for this suffering Canadian...
We have reached the point where any slight whisper of material touching my skin is enough to make me drop to the floor in a series of dramatic (and only slightly exaggerated) fits complete with loud complaining and pathetic whining, which is then followed by outright angry shouting:
"THAT'S IT! I'm going to buy TWO air conditionings tomorrow and I'm putting them on the credit card"
"Oh really? And how will you take them home with you on the bus?"
"I'll hire a driver and put HIM on the credit card!"
"You don't even have a credit card."
"AHHH I HATE YOU! IT'S SO FREAKING HOT!!!!"
True story. (And only slightly exaggerated...)
I can't even pretend to be a real Brazilian. My husband pointed out that he grew up without AC so for him, "it's not so bad." Well, Sir. You may sleep in the "not-so-bad" living room and enjoy your heat. I'll be in the bedroom with the air conditioning turned to "icicle".
So in case you were wondering, yes. It is allllll hanging out right now and while all of this naked freedom is liberating, it's really getting old fast. I would like some air conditioning please. It's like Tasha pointed out. I'm in a new home which really should be christened (I'm pretty sure it's a rule in the bible) and it's too hot for anything more than a toe-rub.
Actually, it's more common to hear "Don't touch me. Stop touching me... your leg hair is touching me!" than to hear any invitations of hanky panky. Did I just refer to sex as hanky panky? Ok, this heat is making me delirious.
Time for my second shower of the morning!
You know it's hot in Brazil when:
1. You get up after a 30 minute air conditioned bus ride with a huge, sweaty wet spot on the back of your dress. It definitely looks like your peed yourself.
2. The nasty, dirty AC dripping onto you from the offices above in Centro is suddenly cool and refreshing.
3. You stop caring about looking classy and sexy in front of your husband and instead opt for the 'let it all hang out' look. It really doesn't even matter at this point. It's not like you're getting any anyway because.........
4. Hot and sweaty sex actually sounds like your idea of hell.
5. You can barely walk outside and when you do, you can't even make it to your destination in one go. You need to sit down and take rests.
6. A slight, almost non-existent, breeze is the most AMAZING thing you have EVER FELT IN YOUR LIFE.
7. All of the Brazilians around you are complaining "Nossa! Que calor!" which makes you feel better about not being the only one who can't handle the heat. Literally and figuratively.
8. Showering twice a day used to seem completely neurotic and obsessive to you. Now you take two showers before noon.
9. You sweat. All. The. Time. In fact, you are never ever not sweating. You are sweating right now!
10. You actually think that -30 degree Canadian winter would be better than this heat. So really, you've gone crazy.
Stay cool out there peeps!!
