Adventures of a Gringa in Brazil

Learn Portuguese with a Brazilian

2012-01-29T12:21:00.001-02:00

One of the hardest parts of blending in and feeling happiness in Rio was not speaking Portuguese and my quest to learn the language. Until you have the experience of being 'without words' to communicate, it's difficult to understand the feeling of loneliness, of exclusion and the lack of connection.

I always, ALWAYS, encourage people to learn at least a little bit of a language before moving to any country. You will have so much more freedom if you do.

I took a Portuguese class before I came to Brazil, but it was nothing compared to the Portuguese I have learned while living here, learning with Brazilians. Learning with a Brazilian is the best way to 'speak Brazilian' - to understand the slang, the cultural references, the double entendres, the rules of society...

Whether you are moving to Brazil or already living here, language is the key to your freedom and independence. It's what will paralyze you on your weaker days, and give you the biggest sense of accomplishment on your strong ones.

If Brazil is in your present or your future, LEARN PORTUGUESE.

"But Lindsey, I don't know how to find a Portuguese teacher!"

Let me make your life easier and proudly plug someone very near and dear to my heart. His name is Rodrigo and yes, he is my husband.

Rodrigo is a Brazilian native and my best Portuguese teacher of all time. He can help you too. Please visit the page at the top of my blog that says "Learn Portuguese with a Brazilian" if you need Portuguese in your life (or if you need Rodrigo in your life, but if that's the case maybe we should talk first! *wink*)

But I don't mind sharing, if it helps you communicate better. It's true, without language you get really good at hand gestures and really, miming becomes a skill you didn't know you had. But miming only gets you so far when you're trying to understand social references, like Michel Telo's uberly popular song "Ai, Se Eu Te Pego" (Actually, I take it back. Miming is just fine for this song.)

Point is, if you need Brazil you need Portuguese. Rodrigo can help you.

P.S. He's cute too so you'll be getting a two for one deal, lucky you!

Thanks everyone!
Happy Learning!

And the Winner Is....

2012-01-27T19:27:00.001-02:00

Did you hear? The Oscar Nominees have been released, for our viewing pleasure! This year the Oscars will be shown on February 26 at 10pm Brazilian Time.

Just a little tip, you CAN watch the Oscars without the horrible horrible dubbing. If you're watching on cable, you just have to press the SAP button (we have Net, so it's the green audio button).

Why am I so excited about the Oscars? Why, because I am planning my umpteenth annual Oscars party, that's why! In Brazil, it will be the second annual, but many an Oscars party I have attended in my life. This year however, is the first year I've been so ahead of the game.

My goal this year is to watch every single nominated film before the Oscars. That way I'll even be able to participate in the crappy categories, like Best Sound Mixing or Best Short Film - Live Action (what the hell is that??) Point is, I want to make this a good party and that means you gotta know your product.

I usually like to make voting cards so that everyone can vote for who they think will win. This year I'm even gonna take it up a notch and bring betting into the mix. That, or I"ll make it a drinking game. Depends on how broke we are.

It is also necessary to dress up for an Oscars' party, in your best Oscars attire. In grade 9 I wore my middle school prom dress, for example. This year, I'll prob go with a short dress but maybe add some gloves or feathers? Feathers always mean fancy. (or tacky, but at your do-it-yourself Oscars party you can afford to be a little tacky!)

So, anyone else like to participate in these award shows? Or having theme parties in general? If you read my blog, you already know I'm a fan of themed parties. They make me happy, and that's what it's all about, folks.

Happy movie watching!

Here's to Hoping the World Doesn't End!

2012-01-23T16:53:00.006-02:00

Well, almost a month has gone by since my last post and so much has happened. It's not fair for me to keep it all to myself.

Side note** I imagined that moving to Botafogo would have given me more time - more time for blogging, class prep, and all of the indoor activities I was used to doing. Our move has done the exact opposite (not complaining) but more time outside and spent with friends means less time for blogging.

In the past month since my birthday I've:

Had 4 visitors
Taken the train to the Cristo
Rode the bondinho to Pao de Acucar
Taken 1 trip to the Tenda Espirita de Umbanda
Read 2 books
Done 5 consecutive days of yoga (dotted with several other days)
Gone to the beach 3 times
Bought a ticket to the Carnaval Parade

That's of course not even everything but that's what has taken up the majority of my time for the last few weeks! So far 2012 is off to a great start, with no apocalypse in sight!

My first two visitors were my mom and sister. It had been a year since I'd seen them and while the year went fast, so much can change in that time. I notice the changes in myself so much more when I am reunited by my family and friends from home. You might say I've become more 'Brazilian' - I don't know if that's necessarily true but I guess we are all a product of our environments. I certainly like to shower more and clean my house more, wink wink (but I still ALWAYS take my shoes off when I enter the house, because shoes in the house is just gross to me!)

I wouldn't say I'm becoming more 'Brazilian' because there are so many things about Brazilian culture that I still don't identify with, and probably never will, since I didn't grow up with the same understanding of the world from Brazilian eyes. Now my eyes are broader (in terms of cultural experiences) than those of my (my specific) Canadian peeps and of my Brazilian peeps. That makes me neither more Canadian nor more Brazilian, it just makes me 'me'. A combination of experiences that could relate with both sides, but at times makes me feel very removed.

I have big fears of our inevitable move back to Canada. It's taken a long time to 'assimilate' into Brazilian culture. To learn the language, the general rules of society, how to get around, what the prices of a pineapple should be. A lot of blood, sweat (a freakin' LOT of sweat) and tears (also, a BUTT LOAD of tears) have gone into getting myself to the point I'm at today - a point where I feel I'm actually growing as a person: not standing still, or worse, moving backwards.

I feel like it will be difficult to find common ground with people once I'm back home since this huge period of constant adjustment has been the centre of my life for so long. It's the first time in my life that work, money, clothes and 'things' have played so little importance to who I am.

I know these things are very important to Canadians (whether they like to believe that or not).

They were very important to me, too. They are still important to me, to my happiness. But they aren't the centre of my happiness, like I always felt was the true race to life. To work as much as possible, to make as much as possible, to have a big house, to buy a lot of things, to have a car, to travel everywhere... I feel like I can see things with clearer eyes now.

Maybe I can say that because I've found my true calling with English teaching - my job doesn't feel like I'm torturing my soul, like it used to. My true love of language, of teaching others, of sharing information, connecting with people, seeing the product of my work... What if I can't find that again when we move back to Canada?

Living in another country is like being on a permanent holiday. Everything is different and new every day, even if you're doing it for the 100th time - it's not the way you grew up doings things. No matter what level of Portuguese you are, you are always hearing a foreign language on the street. Drinking coconut water at the beach still feels like a special event.
There is something very exciting about living life this way. Even when nothing really happens, so much is happening every day.

I think that's why my husband would prefer to live in Canada. If it gave him the same feelings it gives me living in Brazil, I can't blame him. Although for him, it's a much different sensation, I'm sure.

The reality is Canada is easier. Canada is more organized. Canadians are polite and they look out for each other, in general. In Brazil, you're fighting the fight alone, give or take a few specific situations that bring the community out in people (Danielle and I talked about this exact topic while at the Farmer's Market by my house - the Market is a place I see a lot of community, but step outside the streets of the market and a car is sure to run you down).

Anyway, I didn't even get into more details of what I've done the last month but it has generally been a great month of reflection for me. I also want to talk about the Centro of Umbanda that we went to, which was very interesting and awesome. If you haven't heard of Spiritism in Brazil, or Umbanda (which is not the 'black magic' one) check out the wikipedia def that I linked up above.

Other than that, my cats are lovely, my friends are lovely (Danielle and Alex's weekend here was GREAT GREAT GREAT), and JIM has totally made it possible for me to experience my first Sambodromo during Carnaval! Woo! 2012 is looking fine! (as long as the world doesn't end!)

P.S. We aren't moving back to Canada any time soon but we have been doing some life planning which has got the question coming up in my mind... Never hurts to think about it.

Does anyone else have the same fears about re-assimilating into your own culture? Or have the experience of actually doing it?

It's Mah Birfday!

2011-12-27T13:14:00.000-02:00

Today my husband woke me up at 7am to a really beautiful breakfast-in-bed of eggs, bacon, toast, orange juice and coffee! He has to work today so we did an extra early celebration.


A little dark out but some editing brightened that up!

Today is the first day I think I've ever spent my birthday alone and I have to say, I am LOVING this day. After that great start, I read a little and then went back to sleep with my two lovely cats and my new birthday present.

Later in the day, we did some yoga together.

And now I'm going to ride my bike to teach the one class I have to teach! Such a simple day but I've been feeling SO. MUCH. LOVE!

And now The Beatles will sing me Happy Birthday :-)

It's Boxing Day! But where are all the boxes?

2011-12-26T17:16:00.000-02:00

I can't figure out what to do with my day today. In Canada (as in the UK), today is Boxing Day. That means Holiday. That means giant sales. That means more family time, ultimately making Christmas a 3-day long event, which is followed on the 27th by my birthday and the 31st by New Years.

This week is otherwise known as a giant holiday week where I do as much eating and as little working as possible. So why'd I go to work today????

Right. Because I'm in Brazil.

Working on December 26 just feels wrong!! It makes the Christmas holiday feel incomplete somehow! (I'm whining for nothing - I only actually had one student today, but my HUSBAND has to work and I'm a little lonely without him here)

So, it doesn't really feel like Monday OR Boxing Day, but this weekend happily felt like Christmas for me. December 24th is the Big Day in Brazil, where everyone gathers together (at my Aunt's house in our case) to eat a TON of food, drink a LOT, and wait for midnight. At midnight everyone shouts Feliz Natal! Feliz Natal! and runs around hugging and kissing and smiling and laughing. Then, even without children there to announce it Tom, someone inevitably shouts Amigo Oculto!! which is the Brazilian version of Secret Santa.

My Christmas sounds a lot like Tom's actually, I swear we are part of different families!

Well, as Tom explained, the game in Brazil is to describe your secret friend in a tricky way and make the others guess who you have. I try to distract myself while waiting for my name to be called because when it inevitably is, that means two things:
1.You have to gratefully accept your gift (in Portuguese)
and 2. You have to describe your secret friend in a funny and clever way (in Portuguese).

Luckily for me, just the way I speak Portuguese is funny enough for my family so it's usually not toooo much effort, apart from a little embarrassment (but I'm used to that by now)! Just to be sure, I practiced my speech for about a week. All four sentences of it. It turned out great.

This year we also celebrated with my immediate family "Canadian Style" on Christmas Morning. Laura brought stockings for me on her trip here last month, so everyone had a full stocking to open and after we opened up all the gifts to each other. I got the feeling that everyone liked my family's tradition of opening presents one person at a time, from youngest to oldest.

Only a few tears from me this year, on Christmas Eve morning! As soon as the sweet Carribbean sound of Boney-M's "Mary's Boy Child" started up, I couldn't control them. Listen to it and I dare you not to cry. Haha. Love that album! I hope everyone had a nice holiday!

How will you be spending YOUR Christmas?

2011-12-23T18:08:00.002-02:00

Ahhh... and so ends my crazy week from hell. I guess it wasn't really that bad - I just lack the vocabulary to describe it any other more creative way. I'mma tired.

Since most of my students are taking the last week of December off, I smushed them all into the first couple of weeks of this month so ~~I wouldn't lose the money~~ they would stay consistent. Word to the wise, Teachers. You should always insist on rescheduling (by not giving an option!) when there is a holiday. "Oh, it's a holiday? Well let's do that class the Wednesday before, then." FECHADO!

Joking aside, it really is better for your students to stay consistent.

The end of the teaching week means that Christmas has arrived!!! My first Christmas here was, well, shitty. We had just arrived in Brazil and I couldn't get over a Christmas with palm trees, celebrated on December 24, with an Amigo Oculto (Secret Santa) gift exchange ONLY, and rice served with my turkey. I couldn't accept that I was drinking beer, sweating my butt off in shorts and a tank top, and listening to Christmas carols in Portuguese. It wasn't fair that there was no Santa, no stockings, and no snow.

I thought, "This is NOT Christmas. These people don't even know what Christmas is."

Then last year, I went home last-minute because I couldn't handle the thought of another unfamiliar and lonely Christmas. But my husband couldn't come with me. And the normal location of our Christmas changed due to the death of my uncle. So Christmas at 'home' wasn't like any Christmas I as used to, aside from the snow, stockings and Santa (and my wonderful family, of course!).

But it was then that I realized that Christmas could, and would, be different now that I was married, had gained a family, lost some family and shared my life with someone else (and in another country to boot!). It was a good opportunity to start new traditions and create 'our own' traditions (I'm pretty big on traditions).

This year my therapist really brought it home for me by explaining that Christmas, for many people, is the biggest event of the year because it's the time that we like to 'reflect and connect'. It's a time to look inside ourselves, evaluate our years, and connect with all the most important people in our lives. When it's 1000 degrees outside, it's not so easy to come by that 'warm, cozy' feeling - instead, you have more of that 'sweltering, crazy' feeling. But despite the haze of heat, we foreigners have to summon the 'feeling' of Christmas and re-create it in way that lets us tap into the real reason we love this holiday. Food, Family and the Joy of Sharing, Giving, and Receiving. And that can be done just about anywhere!

My advice if you're feeling sad this Christmas? Try to repeat at least one of the most important traditions you and your family have shared in the past. Mine is stockings on Christmas morning and opening our gifts one gift and one person at a time. We're also going to make North American Breakfast on Christmas morning.

But we're also going to have Brazilian Christmas on the 24th! The key is to combine the best of both worlds and create new traditions that make everyone remember the reason for the season! (P.S. This is the time of year my Brazilian sappiness really comes out!)


Christmas just isn't Christmas without some cats wearing Santa hats...

So Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah or whatever tradition it is that you like to celebrate! Here in Brazil, we'll be opening stockings on Christmas morning and going to the beach in the afternoon! It's a crazy life...

Bonding Time with Friends: A Story of Waxing, Beers, and Haircuts

2011-12-14T12:15:00.005-02:00

There is nothing quite like the value of friendship. Especially when you are a Stranger in a Strange Land. (YES! You don't know how happy I am to make that reference for myself, finally!)

Maybe you've been wondering, "How can I bring my friendships closer? How can we have a more intimate relationship with my girlfriends?" The answer is: Waxing.
Girls waxing their crotches together is a speedy and reliable way to bring you to a level of comfort and intimacy you never thought possible. I've referenced other intimate waxing experiences in the past *ahem, watched Laura get a Brazilian, ahem* so you can trust me that I'm experienced in this field.


Haha! Waxing neither feels nor looks ANYTHING like this!

Just the nature of the activity demands that you discuss your crotches in detail with each other. Details you'd probably be embarrassed to share in any other circumstance (but this is Brazil and Brazilians are notorious for being insanely comfortable talking about and showing off their bodies, so you join the party).

It's extra special when two of your party are getting the wax for the very first time, ever. It's total unknown territory, and the idea of a stranger putting her hands all over an area which in the past has strictly been reserved for yourself, your partner, and your doctor is a little unnerving and guaranteed to bring you closer to your friends (physically closer, out of pure terror).

Then when one friend says, "This comes without the anus, right?"
and you say, "Oh no, this one comes with the anus waxed"
and she says, "No!! I don't want to wax my anus!!"
and you say, "Yes you do. You definitely want to wax your anus. She'll have the Virilha Total WITH the anus waxed, please."

Well, it goes without saying that you've now discussed waxing your friends' anus and therefore you are now, officially, closer than ever.

The anus in question come up again later as you're, as gently as possible, trying to coach your friends through the waxing process.

"Then she will tell you to vira and segura seu bum bum".
"We have to turn over and hold our asses open to wax the anus?!?!?!??!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!"
(Exclamations NOT an exaggeration!!!!!!!!)
"Yes, you will need to hold the cheeks to help her out."
"Do we have to get on all fours???????" (this one made us laugh hysterically for around 7 minutes)
"No", I answer while wiping tears away. "You can lay on your stomach, just hold your bum open!"

**** Several stressful moments (for everyone) later, you're all smooth as a baby****

Having a freshly waxed crotch also makes you want to, obviously, drop your pants and show it off! This may or may not be a good idea, but I suppose that depends on the deepness of the intimacy of your friendships. My friends and I still have a few more waxes to get through before we reach this level, but it was definitely on the table!

After a lot of sweating and heart pounding, but albeit a good quality wax, beer is a definite must. You need to discuss, in detail, the proceedings of the waxing.
"Did it hurt as much as you thought?"
"Well, she put one slab of wax on and couldn't get it off because the hair was too long! I started to wonder if maybe I could just live with this giant slab of dried wax on my crotch forever."

After you get a little tipsy at the bar, it's time to part ways. Two of you decide to make it a whole day of hair removal and get your hair cut (even though we already know how this is another stress point for you). Since you have no evidence of a good place to cut your hair, you wander into the best looking place you pass.

Hair cutting with a friend is very intimate, especially because you get to watch, and be watched, during that moment in every haircut that makes you think "Oh no, this is gonna look like shit.... oh wait, she fixed that part. Ok, crisis averted."

In the end, it works out because you are with your friend and that gives you some kind of super power moral support!

And so concludes The Guide to Bonding With Your Friends! A lovely day it was! Thanks girls :)

I've Been Featured!

2011-12-10T15:11:00.000-02:00

Amelia and Laura over at The Harvest Kitchen Sisters have featured me as a guest on their blog! How exciting for me!!

I've linked their site before, particularly for Amelia's amazing pancake recipe (that is decidedly my ONLY pancake recipe - and one that my Brazilian husband has MASTERED).

Anyway, please visit their site for my latest blog about Hiring a Housekeeper in Brazil

December already?

2011-12-03T16:39:00.001-02:00

The last two weeks have gone by so fast! Since Laura left, I've been keeping busy with work, friends and believe it or not, reading.

Seeing as I have one month left in this year, I wanted to reflect on everything that's gone right and that I've changed for the better in my life. Actually, looking back on the past year (which has flown by!!!), I'm a little disappointed, yet not at all surprised, that I didn't keep my New Year's Non Resolutions.

1. Blog more funny stories. Well, just by counting the number of posts this year vs. last year, I've already failed on the NUMBER of blogs I've produced, but at least my blogs haven't gone down in quality! (Well, you all can be the judges of that one)

2. Start taking Portuguese classes. Do the two classes I took count? I took two, didn't really like her, made up some crappy excuse, and never looked back.

3. Settle in and make Rio my 'home'. After a rocky start with our first apartment, I can happily say that this one we have accomplished.

4. Learn to drive stick shift. Ha. Well, I did go out for one driving lesson with Ro when I got back from Canada. But we sold our car earlier this year (thank the lord!). So no stick shift. But also (happily) no car.

Alright, so if we were to evaluate purely by what I wrote down, it looks as if I didn't do so well. But some other "non-resolutions" that I came up with throughout the year I did better with. So let's examine my B-Side resolutions instead.

1b) Read more. (And later, read more Margaret Atwood). Win! In the two months I read a book per month and one of those was Margaret Atwood. That equals 2 books in case you were feeling confused (it happens).

2b) Try to find my own Happiness. I read the book The Happiness Project but more importantly, after moving to Botafogo, I was able to pursue my friendships, spend more time with my husband, ride my bike, and run in some beautiful places - HUGE sources of my happiness.

3b) See a Psychologist. I found the most wonderful woman (thanks to a good friend) who speaks English! She is not covered by my Health Plan but it doesn't matter. Paying her with my hard-earned cash has been one of the most releasing experiences in understanding myself, my actions, and also how to let things GO!

4b) Do acupuncture. Before we moved to Botafogo I did 3 sessions of Acupuncture which made me feel AMAZING. It was a quick run, but it made a big difference.

So did anyone else out there make any 'non-resolutions'? How are they going? Do you usually keep your goals or let them shrivel up like George's penis? :) Happy December!

Friday Afternoon Dance Request

2011-11-18T18:21:00.001-02:00

BAAHAHAHA!

Today this song came up on my iPod playlist - I had almost forgotten all about it! I first heard it in Canada and was disgustingly drawn to the tune. I guess there's no stopping a repetitive dance-instruction song and a white girl.

Ahhh hahaha... I'm going to stop laughing and just let you watch it. It's like Brazilian funk music meets the Macarena. Oh the hilarity.

It's even more hilarious now that I actually understand about 60% of it. I DEFINITELY played this song at my wedding. Not even joking.

All I ask is that if you watch this video, PLEASE try to do the dance. And if possible, film it and post to your blog for my laughing pleasure.

Without further ado.... My favourite characters are all of them.

Feel like an ass in Brazil? Read this post.

2011-11-17T22:48:00.001-02:00

I felt inspired by Rachel's post today about life in paradise not always being easy. Many of the commenters were relatively new foreigners living in Brazil and their stories of their struggles brought me right back to my first months (ok, year and a half) here as well (even though I still feel like I'm new and I've been here almost 2 years, crazy).

Some of my old posts were a liiiiiiiiitle depressed and frankly, depressing.

Looking back on all my ~~whining,~~ ~~bitching and~~ ~~cries for help~~ whining, bitching and cries for help (not a typo), I'm impressed at how much things have changed for me. Rachel said that she was being a big baby in the beginning - I was a giant baby too, but at the same time I don't know if I would have been able to do it any differently...

Anyone out there who is new to Brazil or thinking about coming - the biggest challenge in moving to another country (and it could be any country) is that usually you are dealing with a million new things at the same time. Language, culture, social norms (like how to eat/not eat in public), lack of friends, lack of knowing the city, and in many cases a completely new marriage or baby as well.

Word to the wise, your inevitable psychological breakdown in your new country is not the country's fault (although, it definitely feels like it is). It's not even necessarily the fault of your specific situation in Brazil. It all comes down to you and how you deal with these firey demon-balls you are faced with.
How many times can you face defeat, frustration, or conflict and still get back up and do it again? Don't be fooled into thinking that crap is constantly falling on your head just because you live in a foreign country. Even at home in your own country you feel the stress of your job, your friends, your housing situation, your new marriage/relationship/baby or whatever. The common denomonator in all of this is you and your attitude will ultimately determine your success or lack thereof.

The other peice of advice I have is RELAX. Seriously, sometimes you need to just go with it and accept that you're going to feel like a 3 year old in an adult's body learning how to speak for the first time. News flash. You are a 3 year old in an adult's body learning how to speak for the first time!

If you're totally frustrated because your umbrella poked an old lady in the eye and you couldn't apologize because your Portuguese wasn't at that level yet, that's ok. Feel shitty about it, and then learn from that situation. Practice saying "ahh desculpa! Peço mil desculpas!" 1000 times until you've got it down. Feeling like an ass is the best way to learn how NOT to speak Portuguese.

And finally, speaking Portuguese is the best way to learn how NOT to feel like an ass! www.livemocha.com is a great free site to get you started.

You can dooooo it!

I'm Not a Gringa!!!

2011-11-16T11:03:00.000-02:00

Ok, yes, I am. But I'm not!

A little something that ~~seriously annoyed me~~ I noticed while Laura was here was how everytime her blond hair and blue eyes were standing beside me, I got the "Gringa Treatment". Let me just clarify that when I'm alone on the street (which is usually) people don't even bat an eye. They don't usually ask me if I'm a Gringa, or if I'm from another place, or even comment really. But standing next to Laura, it was like their Gringo-Spidey Sense was on full blast.

I've never been asked, "Você é Gringa?" "Voce fala Português?" "Você e da onde?" SO MANY TIMES. Argh.

So you may be thinking, 'but, uhhh, you ARE Gringa....'. I see your point. And you are correct. Technically. But when you've put as much effort into learning a language, trying to understand a foreign culture that goes against many of your instincts, and just trying to be normal, you'd be pissed too when people are calling you out like snowflakes in July. Or just snowflakes in Brazil in general. Which is what we were. Snowflakes. Big ass, white, shiny snowflakes.

I have reached a level of Portuguese that makes people look at me and think "Oh, she must be handicapped. I know she's speaking Portuguese, but it's kind of funny. Good for her! Doing things in the world all by herself! Way to represent the handicap, Weird Portuguese-Speaking Girl!"

And I take that as the utmost compliment.

But I don't stand a chance to even be a handicapped Brazilian with other Gringas around me!

So Gringo Friends, if in the future I suddenly run away from you on the street in an attempt to stand out less, please dont be offended. I just don't want my hard-earned efforts to go to waste!

Friendship in Brazil

2011-11-15T10:34:00.003-02:00

Or rather, friendship COMES to Brazil!

I've been M.I.A. for the past two weeks because my good friend Laura was visiting me here in Rio. We spent two great weeks together doing all things Brazilian: Travelling to São Paulo (seeing Danielle for a millisecond); Riding bikes around Zona Sul; Going to Leme Beach; Visiting Pão de Açucar; Getting manicures, getting waxed, getting tipsy; Eating a great restaurants, eating at home, eating HEALTHY; But most of all enjoying each others' company because we hadn't seen each other in a year.

It's sometimes a hard reminder when you spend time with your really old friends from your former home. A reminder that even across time zones and languages your friendships can still remain strong, if not stronger, despite the distance. The fact is, these kind of friendships take time to cultivate. Time and quite probably embarrassing moments - my friends from Canada can attest to the fact that we've all had some awesomely embarrassing moments together. For God's sake, I watched Laura get a Brazilian wax last year when she couldn't communicate with the waxing lady and the waxing lady insisted I stay to help. Nothing builds a friendship like watching your friend get her thang waxed. (Sorry Laur, I needed that story to emphasize my point) ;-)

And while my new friendships in Brazil are also fantastic, they just don't have that 'time' factor yet. As Leslie says on the show Parks and Recreation "So what did you guys talk about? Old times? Oh, I love talking about old times. New times are great too, but there's just something about old times. You know what I mean?" Well said, Leslie.

So I guess the point of this sappy, sad post (gimme a break! Laura went home yesterday and I'm all depressed) is that I am really grateful for both of my worlds. My Aldous Huxley world and my Old World. But it sure is hard living in a parallel universe. I wish they could exist together as one life but at the same time, one wouldn't really even exist without the reality of the other. I did manage to bring them together, just a little bit ;)

On a positive note, I got to learn about my friend in a different way than either of us had experienced with the other. I suppose you could say that we uncovered each others' neuroses after sharing a house for 2 weeks. It was great waking up with her here in the morning, making breakfast together and sitting in front of the 'sitting' window (it's a great window we have for sitting and looking outside). Working together to keep the house in order then deciding what to do for the day. It was really nice to have her company. And the time went by so quickly. Le sigh.

It does keep me excited for the next guests we have coming - my mom and sister will be here for New Years this year! Lucky me!

For now, it's sad movie watching and laying on the couch. Tomorrow I'll be good as new ;-)

Impromptu Hallowe'en Party

2011-11-02T21:46:00.001-02:00

If the mountain won't go to Mohammad....

We'll bring the Hallowe'en Party to us! So I've met a few new people here over the last couple of weeks who are really filling out my lovely group of 'friends' here. No, no, friends deserves no quotations. For the first time in my Brazilian life though, I really feel like I have people I can call up to hang out with for all kinds of different reasons. People who fulfill different parts of my life and who are all amazing, wonderful people.

Some of those people live in Rio. Some don't. A few of the Rio-dwellers were feeling sad about not having Hallowe'en, so at the last minute we decided to shut up and plan a 'party'. Party gets quotations because the whole purpose was really to dress up, eat candy and watch a scary movie. Not an epic Hallowe'en party or anything... but decent all the same.

I, for one, LOVE Hallowe'en! It's right up there with Christmas, for me. But Brazil doesn't really love Hallowe'en so much so it's kinda difficult to find a costume and other Halloweeny things.

We coped.

I carved little jack-o-lanterns into some clementines. I found R$15 jack-o-lantern votive holders. My friend Emily found an awesome trick-or-treat pumpkin and filled it with Brazilian chocolate. Julie and I even found gummy candy in the shape of teeth and worms! Score!

Plus everyone found/made awesome costumes! I was so impressed!

Then I worked my magic with the help of a little friend I like to call 'Martha'.

Made some 'devilish' eggs.

Some Bloody Sangria. Some Slime Rickeys punch. And topped it off with bleeding eyeballs made from lychee and blueberry.

Everyone else brought wine and snacks. We ate and talked and then cuddled up to watch The Exorcist. Classic.

I love celebrating my traditions here with people who appreciate them. While I also love celebrating and learning about the Brazilians traditions, there's nothing like bringing 'home' to you to make living here just a little bit more familiar and fun.

Hope everyone had a nice Hallowe'en!

My Happiness Project

2011-10-20T14:09:00.000-02:00

I just finished reading an excellent book called "The Happiness Project" by Gretchen Rubin. I've linked her blog there, which was actually something she started as a part of her personal project. This book has me feeling really inspired. First, because it's the first book I've gotten all the way through in... a pretty long time. Second, because her personality seems so much like mine (with all its faults) and the changes she makes in her life are totally achievable, totally manageable and very positive changes.

That and I'm on a self-help, self-improvement kick lately.

Gretchen's basic idea was an approach to improve her life. She began by settin a Resolution List, followed by a List of Personal Commandments (the woman loves her lists). Her Resolutions were all of the areas that she wanted to find more happiness and her Personal Commandments were the rules she had to maintain throughout all of those resolutions.

Interested?

Yes!

Areas she wanted to find more happiness were your basics - energy levels/health, family, friends, career, spirituality but she also looked at other things like money, pursuing passions, mindfulness and leisure. Her set of commandments were as follows:

Of course, you need to really read her book to understand how she uses these tools to help her pursuit for (more) happiness. But certain aspects of her journey really spoke to me.

Things like 'showing up'.

Something that I really value in others is when they show up to things they promise to show up to. It really really makes me upset when people cancel at the last minute, flake out with some ridiculous excuse, or don't come at all to something important to me.

But then I had to ask myself, do I always show up? One thing about Cariocas and living in Rio is that people are pretty flaky and it's pretty common to make plans with someone that you don't actually intend to follow through on. This has kind of given me a carte blanche to cancel plans when I don't feel like going.

But then how can I be such a hypocrite? The truth is, this bothers me in others. The solution is that I have to make an effort to show up 100% of the time. It's the old 'practice what you preach' saying, which could be one of my commandments if I were to start my own Happiness Project (which I'm seriously considering).

That leads into another of the elements about Gretchen's project that inspired me. Do it now. If I'm thinking about doing a happiness project, or re-starting acupuncture, or joining the yoga studio down the street, or making an appointment at the doctor to look at this funny spot on the bottom of my foot - well why not just DO IT NOW? It would be a big source of happiness to follow through on my thoughts and ideas and not just let them float around in space.

Anyway, this is a starting point for me to consider what I need to do and I really don't think there's a better time to start than now. With all of the changes (and happiness) that have come into my life in the last 2 months (which quieted some major sources of unhappiness) I was beginning to wonder "ok, so now how can I get even happier?" My basics are now covered in Maslov's hierarchy when they weren't before, and now I want to keep growing.

And I wonder... Do you think it's possible to be too happy? Do you think we can max out our happiness? I don't want to reach a point of 'ok well, I achieved that! Now what?" What are some of your sources of happiness and what do you do to keep finding new happiness? Very interested in this idea of personal happiness.....

LOVE THESE WORDS:

A Happiness Manifesto
To be happy, you need to consider feeling good, feeling bad, and feeling right, in an atmosphere of growth.
One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy; One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself.
The days are long, but the years are short.
You're not happy unless you think you're happy.
Your body matters.
Happiness is other people.
Think about yourself so you can forget yourself.
"It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light."—G. K. Chesterton
What's fun for other people may not be fun for you, and vice versa.
Best is good, better is best.
Outer order contributes to inner calm.
Happiness comes not from having more, not from having less, but from wanting what you have.
You can choose what you do, but you can't choose what you like to do.
"There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy." —Robert Louis Stevenson
You manage what you measure.

I've got the 'gripe'

2011-10-15T12:22:00.001-03:00

Sick, sick, sick.... It's terrible to be sick. It's great if you're faking it to get a day off work but as usual, karma bites you in the ass and then you really get sick. I don't know what I have exactly but anyone in Brazil will tell you that if you're sick, you've got gripe. Technially it means flu, and I could have the flu in this case, but even if I just had a sore throat, or a sniffle, I've got the gripe. To me, it sounds like I've got the clap.

Side Note****In case that sentence wasn't 100% clear, I do NOT have the clap. I just think that I've got gripe sounds like I've got the clap....

One thing I miss about Canada is being sick. 'Say what??', you ask? It's true. In Canada (with its mostly uninhabitable plains, where people live in ice and snow year round*) it's really common to get all kinds of sicknesses. They come in with the chinook winds**. But this means the pharmacy is always stocked up with all kinds of cold and flu medicine. With CLEAR images and descriptions on the box to verify if what you got is what this medicine will cure.

Brazil doesn't have the same cold-and-flu season popularity as Canada does, so when I walk into the pharamacy it generally takes me a long time to figure out what I HAVE first, then I can decide what I need. It doesn't help that, to me, Brazilian medicine all looks exactly the same.

What I have found in terms of over-the-counter medicine is that they generally will treat cold & flu symptoms like:
Runny nose: Coriza
Fever: Febre
Nasal congestion: Congestão nasal
Headache: Cefaléia
Body Pain: Dores Musculares

Ok, that's fine. But every single over-the-counter med does the exact same thing. Where's my all in one medicine for a sinus and chest cold? Or, in my specific case this time, sinus and sore throat? In Canada they got this covered. But I guess the common cold is to Canada what dengue is to Brazil? I'd like to see them come up with a quick diagnosis for dengue in Canada.

As a final observation - something that is very common, potentially dangerous, but at times super convenient - is the ability to buy prescription medication from the pharmacist without a prescription. For me, this was kind of awesome because I have always suffered from terrible sore throats. I always visit the doctor during these episodes and they always prescribe me amoxcicillin. I've had them so many times that I can completely tell when one is coming on and how bad it's going to get. It's pretty handy to just walk into the pharmacy and ask for my amoxcicillin without going through the hassle of visiting the doctor's office.

Now, I know that I takes my meds responsibly and I take them until the end. I can't speak for the rest but I can definitely take a guess that this generally isn't true for many others. Now they are really tryin to crack down on prescription meds only with prescription. Hell, we even tried to buy some last night and we got rejected. Now I'll have to find a rogue pharmacist who can support my habit - er - my basic needs.

Probably won't be so difficult. We are in Rio after all!

* Sarcasm doesn't always translate through the computer. Canada is NOT like this but the other day someone asked me how much of Canada is inhabitable. ?? 100%. (but fair enough, the far north probably isn't desirable for everyone)
** Another 'dumb Canada question.' But chinooks are real and they are only in the flat plains ie. Alberta, Saskatchewan and parts of Manitoba.

Thanks for playing "How Little Do I Know About the 2nd Largest Land Mass in the World!"

Dear Son-of-a-bitch Who Stole My Bike....

2011-10-01T14:46:00.002-03:00


This was my actual bike

To the stupid a**hole who stole my bike yesterday while it was parked (AND LOCKED) in front of a busy finance office on Praia de Botafogo where I was giving a class for only ONE HOUR, please kindly burn in hell.

I don't want to believe you stole my R$1000 bike to sell her parts for R$50 to support your drug habit. I want to believe that you desperately needed a bike because you can't afford the bus. Because you needed a way to get your kids to school. Because you wanted to be a delivery boy and it was the only way to get the job. I want to give you the benefit of the doubt that you weren't just a stupid jackass and believed, for some reason, that you were entitled to what was mine, just because it was left locked and unattended.

Am I the sucker here? I locked my bike. Why do I feel so guilty? Like I didn't lock it enough... like I should have put two locks on it. Or I should have tried harder to find a garage to put it in. Like I got too comfortable and this was just a bit of reality stabbing me in the kidney just to put me back on the right track. The track of fear and mistrust. I hate this feeling. I want to be able to trust people and to live in a safe place where I can leave my bike locked on the sidewalk in front of a busy building and trust that nobody will steal it. I want to at least trust that a bystander on the street would see a guy with BOLT CUTTERS cutting the lock off my bike and try to stop him...

I've been told, and I believe, that I've been very lucky living here for almost 2 years. I've never had any kind of trouble with theft, or even with suspicious people. I take the bus alone. I take my IPhone out on the bus. I walk through tunnels. Things that people constantly tell me not to do, I do. Because wtf! I don't want to have to give up my right to freedom! Sometimes I swear that if I were robbed I would not give in easily. But again, I've never actually been in that situation so I can't say for sure how I would react. In my 'robbing fantasy" (yes, I have fantasies about being robbed - well, they're more like daydreams) I always grab the guys' weapon and scream "No! You give me YOUR money!" and they get scared and run away and I'm a hero.

But I dunno.... I can't really trust that I'll follow through on that... especially since everyone who comments here will say "Are you crazy! Just give him everything he wants!" I know, I know.... 'thing's aren't worth your life'. I agree. I just feel so pissed that my husband worked so hard, saved his money for months, bought and surprised me with this beautiful blue bike, and some jackass comes along and takes it.

Probably to sell for R$50 to support his drug habit. Prove me wrong, thief. Return my bike and prove me wrong!

Here are some pics of me enjoying some beautiful days on my bike.... Tear! I love you my beautiful bicycle!

Getting a Manicure in Brazil

2011-09-22T20:17:00.003-03:00

Just got back from one of the most aggressive manicures I've ever had here in Rio. Manicures are a very interesting experience. Nothing like your tender, relaxing manicure from home (at least in my experiences they have always been a relaxing experience). That's not to say you can't find that kind of experience here too, but when you enter into the salon that says "Mão e Pé: R$20" you know you're not going to get the tender relaxing experience.

You're gonna get the 'let's do this as fast as possible so we can push more people through the salon' experience.

My toes are burning! Bitch cut my skin off! Lol, sorry for the foul language, but really. That was one of the sloppiest mani/pedis I've ever had. She really went to work.

A little advice if you're going for your first (or millionth) time, I really really stress that you need to keep a completely open mind. In the beginning, it will seem like a giant mess. Plus, everyone does it a little differently. They really go to work hacking off any little tiny speck of cuticle (even the invisible specks) causing you to bleed occasionally (and then they put some sort of anti-bleeding foam on the wound). You can see they are prepared for bleeders. They don't always put your hands and toes in water. Especially at these 20 dolla places, they usually just spray your tips and put a glove on you. Haha. Even as I write this I can't believe how cheap it sounds.

After you've gone through the wet, cut, and file period, they SLLLOPPP on the nail polish of your choice. Whatever colour you want. Slopped right on there. Everywhere. Then they sllloppp another coat over top of that. Next they remove nailpolish at the tip of the nail with their thumb, leaving an ugly little white line at the top, sort of like a french manicure but ugly. Next they remove their messy work using a pointy little stick and some cotton and polish remover. Seems a little backwards, but ok. I don't see why you didn't just put it on neatly in the first place, but alright. Finally, a little oil to dry you up quick and pull the whole thing together.

This was my first impression of manicures here. Now. Funny story. I went back to Canada last Christmas, if you recall, and had a manicure there. Guys. It was terrible. I see the benefit to slopping on the polish. That way you cover the whole nail. I see the benefit to massacring my cuticle. My hand looks so light and skinny after. I see why you leave that ugly little line. It helps keep my nail polish from chipping! The oily substance in the end really does dry the polish faster.

So all in all, my verdict for best manicure goes to BRAZIL! I guess once you go bloody massacre, you never go back.

Cutting your Hair in Brazil

2011-09-14T13:46:00.004-03:00

If you came to this post looking for some helpful tips on how to find a good hairdresser or useful vocabulary to help you with cutting your hair while in Brazil, move it along. You ain't gonna find anything helpful here. In fact, if you HAVE helpful tips or useful vocab, PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD post them in the comments!

It's taken me 2 years trying to find a good hairdresser, trying to build up some helpful vocab, trying to show pictures and explain (at least with actions) what I want. I've never gone back to the same hairdresser twice. I've gone back for a re-cut about 5 of the 7 times I've had my hair cut. I've cried afterwards 4 of the 7 times. It has been truly traumatizing for me to find a hairdresser.

I think it all started when I was about 8 years old and my mom took me to her hairdresser, a bald European man named Ram. I cried after that cut because "I looked like a lion and I didn't want to look like a lion". Damn beautiful mane. There began my complex.

The problem is that I have such a SPECIFIC idea in my mind, that no other cut can live up to what I am imagining. Trust me, I have done serious research so that I can explain accurately the tool needed for some effect, or how high my layering should start (in English, of course). I am a freak, I know it. I just wish I could cut my own hair. Oh, ps. I've gone home and cut my own hair MYSELF all 7 times I've had my hair cut in Brazil.

So hair cutting time arrived again yesterday. I looked for lots of pictures online because this time I was getting a drastic cut. This time I was going short. I've had short(ish) hair all my life - I like it better on me and I think it looks way more modern and cool. This long hair business in Brazil was overwhelming (see: about 80% of women have long long LONG hair). I tried to grow it just to fit in a bit better. In fact I've been growing it out for the last year. But I've been getting sick of long hair. It's just not me.

So yesterday I went to the salon.

I have this idea that more expensive is better - I don't know if it's necessarily true but I want to believe that they are more experienced or it's more difficult to get into the fancy salons. I went to a pretty big chain here called Werner's (tip: It's 10% cheaper if you go Monday-thursday and it's 10% more on that if you pay in cash. But it still costs freaking R$62 after all those discounts. Ugh).

Fast forward to the end of the cut. I didn't like it (obviously) but I asked him to fix up a few parts here and there. Problem is, my vocab is limited to "Eu queria que ele ficar mais curto aqui, Nao queria tao comprido. Pode usar aquela coisinha (make action of a razer slicing) para cortar este parte aqui? Na verdade, eu queria mais (make action of different levels in my head implying layers)". So you see, it's the filler parts , the most important parts, that I have trouble with.

So at home, I started to hate the cut. That and my husband didn't react with a lot of excitement, so then of course I was in a bad mood for the rest of the night. I decided to go back today.

I hate going back because they always look pissed off, like I interrupted his lunch (which I probably did since I went in at noon). The guy said "Fala" when he saw me, so abruptly so I abrubtly said "I don't like it anymore". Haha, blunt gets blunt!

This time we sat down at the chair and he spent another hour with me trying to decipher my made-up language. This time, I told him the name of the hair cut I wanted. Lucky me, he recognized it. (Tip: LEARN THE NAME OF THE STYLE YOU LIKE! ASK YOUR HAIRDRESSER BEFORE COMING TO BRAZIL SO YOU CAN TELL THE HAIRDRESSER HERE THE NAME OF THE CUT. Sometimes they know, sometimes they don't, but it's helpful).

So without further ado, here is a before (a few months ago) and after of my new hair cut!

Am I cute?

Botafogo Baby

2011-09-05T23:09:00.000-03:00

AAaaaahhhhhh!!! (Imagine it's angels singing that heavenly note when something magical appears out of nowhere ... 'aaaaaahhhhhh')

HALLELUJAH! I. HAVE. ARRIVED!

I'm writing this blog from my new couch in my new apartment in my new neighbourhood - BOTAFOGO Y'ALL!

Life is like, spectacularly good. I'm serious. Is it even possible that my mood can change so drastically that I can now actually understand WHY people like this city? Because I do.

This morning I woke up at a completely reasonable hour, laced up my running shoes and went for the most beautiful run I've (ever?) been on.... It was really really lovely. I'm running on Praia de Botafogo (Botafogo beach) and in one direction, I'm looking at the Pão de Açúcar and in the opposite direction I'm staring directly at the Cristo statue. Surrounded by warm sun, calm water and moutains? Are you kidding me??

We've been here since Thursday and life is feeling completely different already. Gah, it's impossible to explain how peaceful I feel.

That could also be a combo of acupuncture and psychologist working (which I found, by the way!) But I'll save those for a future blog. Just a little check in for today!

Acupuncture in Brazil

2011-08-22T20:19:00.002-03:00

One of the items on my list of goals last week was to start acupuncture. By start, I mean start completely from scratch and add Portuguese into the mix. Hoorah!

I've never done acupuncture before but I've heard really REALLY good things about it. Everyone that I know who has done it (and there are a surprisingly large amount of people who have), has said it fixed them right up.

Now, the traditional view on acupuncture is that is helps with pain. It sure does. But did you also know that it is also very effective in treating emotional difficulties as well? People use acupuncture for stress, depression, weight loss (rather, controlling your food intake), sleep disorders and general well-being.

I went for all of the above.

As I briefly mentioned before, I just came out of another rather lengthy bout of depression that left me feeling pretty directionless and, in spite of sounding melodramatic, hopeless.

But I've taken medication in the past for depression and I don't like what it does for me. I am really determined to beat, or at least control, my depressive episodes chemical-free and as holistically as possible. For one thing, I personally enjoy holistic activities, so it's almost a morbid excuse to pursue a hobby when I'm in a state of depression. Kill two birds with one stone. har har.

So, acupuncture. Have you done it? You should.

I found my acupuncturist by looking on the website of my health plan, Amil. On the Amil website you can look up services by which plan you have. Pretty simple. They let you search by neighbourhood too so that's what I did.

The first appointment was a consultation where the doctor asked me a lot of health-history related questions. It was a real interesting experience, trying to understand in Portuguese. First, he asked me if I experience TPM. Well, what the hell is that Doc? It's that period that women go through... when they menstruate.... Ahhhh... PMS. Later on, more vagina-related questions that were awkward as hell to act-out. Even our hand puppets were feeling uncomfortable, as they shamefully tried to demonstrate what secreção vaginal anormal might mean. (abnormal vaginal secretion). Lovely.

But we got through it with only a few tears. Literally, I cried at one point. But only a little. Ok, actually a lot. It was stressful!

Today's appointment was the real thing. The nurse took me into a tiny private room and told me to put on the gown, opened at the front. That gown barely covered the back half of my body, even though I shouldn't be uncomfortable with full-frontal nudity in front of strangers anymore in Brazil. I did try my best to at least cover my privates.

Then the doctor came in and I lay down on the paper bed while he did some tappy tappy thing on my rib cage and asked me to stick out my tongue. (Do doctor's still ask to look at your tongue??) He had shown me the needles in the consult and assured me that they are so small, they could fit inside a standard needle. Basically they are even thinner than a pin.

He stuck the first needle right in my forehead, which I thought was an interesting place to start, because that didn't freak me out at all. I wish I could literally write sarcasm into words.

Then he continued down my body. Two in my sternum. One in my belly. Two on the side of each bicep. Two on the side of each calf. Two on the tops of each of my feet.

He explained that he would leave me for 10 minutes and then *someone* (because I didn't understand *who*) would come in and warm up the needles. Huh? That part I didn't understand but, as usual, when you don't understand something in Brazil, you just say yes until you learn what it is you have accepted. Then you know whether you like 'that thing' or not. Fun times.

So I waited. I was fully aware of the needles on the entire left side of my body because that side was pulsing strongly. I felt that the equilibrium in my body was totally off and was especially not liking the left side. It pulsed like that for about 3 or 4 minutes before finally relaxing... and I mean really relaxing. Everything felt very peaceful.
My heart beat was also very loud and strong and with every beat, it felt like a big ball of energy was passing itself back and forth over my chest, from needle point to needle point. It was crazy and I was so aware of this feeling of flowing, moving energy! It was like a ball of energy that actually had some weight to it, floating back and forth over my chest. Very cool and interesting sensation.

After the forewarned 10 minutes had passed, the nurse came in with this smoking thing (no idea what) and she proceeded to HEAT UP the needles. Ahhh... so this is the elusive *someone*. And hot damn, that's hot! She really heated up the needle in my belly to the point that I almost said something, but she stopped before I could and left me for another 5 minutes. Then she told me I was free!

After I left the consult, I was feeling pretty good, but I'm not sure how much of that was purely psychological. I did read that when treating emotional conditions, acupuncture usually takes about 4 sessions to notice a different. Either way, I'm really happy I went and plan to go back every week for more.

So, anyone else have super interesting stories of how acupuncture changed their lives? For good or bad?

If you're interested in knowing more, this is a good article which talks about if acupuncture is for you or not.

Lazy Sunday...

2011-08-21T12:52:00.001-03:00

A redundant title for today... Every Sunday = LAZY for me!

Today's lazy Sunday weather is: Rainy.
Today's lazy Sunday's breakfast is: Pancakes.
Today's lazy Sunday activity is: Watching a movie with my cats. Yes, we do this together. Shut up!
Today's lazy Sunday chore is: Ironing. Simply because it's gotta get done and I didn't do it on Spectacular Saturday.

I think I'll add vacuuming to my Sunday chores because, damnit, there is cat hair is everywhere! Damn all this cuddling with my adorable cats!

Also, just for your own personal pancake-eating pleasure, I'm posting the recipe for the most AMAZING, perfect-every-time, even-your-Brazilian-Inlaws-will-love-them, pancakes.

Kudos to Amelia, and her delicious blog, for the recipe!

Here are some tips to making perfect pancakes:

1. Before you ladle on the pancake batter, wipe access butter off the griddle with a folded paper towel. This will make sure you have perfectly browned pancakes.

2. Use all purpose flour in the batter. Cake flour can turn soggy when you top it with syrup. Experiment with different flours like buckwheat or whole wheat just substitute half of the all purpose for any of these.

3. Never whisk batter until it's smooth. Lumps are a good thing and will result in fluffier pancakes.

4. Flip pancakes just as the surface bubbles begin to burst. Flipping them after makes for flatter pancakes.

5. When adding blueberries, bananas or chocolate chips (only some of the many additions you can make) sprinkle them over the batter right after they have been poured on the griddle. This will make sure they are distributed evenly and it also makes them look prettier on the plate, which can sometimes be just as important as how they taste.

6. Warm pure maple syrup before serving. It makes for a certain extra little bit of specialness to the morning (or evening, whatever, no judgement here)

Here's a good (basic) recipe that should keep 'em coming for more:

1 cup all-purpose flour (spooned and leveled)

2 tablespoons sugar

2 teaspoons baking powder

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 cup milk

2 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted, or vegetable oil

1 large egg

1 tablespoon vegetable oil

Assorted toppings, such as butter, maple syrup, confectioners' sugar, honey, jams, preserves, sweetened whipped cream, or chocolate syrup

Directions

Preheat oven to 200 degrees; have a baking sheet or heatproof platter ready to keep cooked pancakes warm in the oven. In a small bowl, whisk together flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt; set aside.

In a medium bowl, whisk together milk, butter (or oil), and egg. Add dry ingredients to milk mixture; whisk until just moistened (do not overmix; a few small lumps are fine).

Heat a large skillet (nonstick or cast-iron) or griddle over medium. Fold a sheet of paper towel in half, and moisten with oil; carefully rub skillet with oiled paper towel.

For each pancake, spoon 2 to 3 tablespoons of batter onto skillet, using the back of the spoon to spread batter into a round (you should be able to fit 2 to 3 in a large skillet).

Cook until surface of pancakes have some bubbles and a few have burst, 1 to 2 minutes. Flip carefully with a thin spatula, and cook until browned on the underside, 1 to 2 minutes more. Transfer to a baking sheet or platter; cover loosely with aluminum foil, and keep warm in oven. Continue with more oil and remaining batter. (You'll have 12 to 15 pancakes.) Serve warm, with desired toppings.

HAPPY SUNDAY EVERYONE!

How to Find an Apartment in Rio and Not Kill Yourself

2011-08-20T09:59:00.000-03:00

We're about to enter a new stage of life and it feels like the night before the first day at school. Or, maybe the night before the next 3-4 years of University, because that's sort of what it is. Little piece of advice, when you rent an apartment here in Rio, the typical contract is 30 months (2 1/2 years) so you better love the place you're living in, like you love a French hooker. And who doesn't love a good French hooker.

I sure do, now! (love my apartment, that is)

Not that that means we'll be here fo shizzle (Mom!) but that has sort of been our plans in terms of length of stay in Rio for the next little while.

Now that it's (almost) 100% a done deal (we still need to sign the contract and get the keys), I'd like to highlight the joy that it is to rent an apartment in Rio. Oh, wait, did I say joy? I meant pure headache and bane of my existence.

First, when you are looking for that apartment of your dreams, be prepared to never find it. Or at least for it to take a solid week (I'm talking 8 hours a day for 7 days straight) or more, of searching. You will go through countless apartments that should be ashamed of themselves for showing up to The Ball dressed like that. I mean, I wouldn't let people see me with literal streaks of dirt running down my body and broken arms and legs. But they have no shame.

So you'll see the crap apartments, but you'll know immediately that they are crap and quickly move on to the next ones.

How do you find these apartments, you ask?

You'll need to buy the O Globo paper every Wednesday and Sunday (that's when the majority of apartments are listed, and even more-so on Sunday). Don't even both with the online stuff. Most of the same apartments, plus way more, are in the paper.

Then, don't make the mistake of calling to arrange a time for a couple days into the future. No no, you'll have to make sure you take an entire day off work and then call the apartments the day you want to see them in the hopes that they haven't already been rented. It's that ~~easy~~ impossible, folks.

Once your hard labour has paid off and you find the apartment of your dreams, you'll run into more problems!
Most places in Rio these days are asking for a fiador. This is a co-signer and this person has to OWN property in RIO. Forget about your uncle who owns a million dollar mansion in São Paulo (ok, still not us). Fiadors can be Rio-owning co-signers ONLY.

Well, we don't have that, which makes life so much more interesting for us.

Option Two: Seguro Fiança. Here you can opt to pay R$2,500 (per year) to the bank so that they will act as your fiador. This is not a deposit. You do not get this money back. You must pay it every year that you are living in the apartment. Ridiculous option?? I agree. FAIL!

Option Three: Capitalização. It's like a deposit/savings account done through the bank. They ask for a minimum 6 months rent/condo fee, which in our case is about R$2000. The owner of the apartment can accept the minimum or ask for more. The other apartment we were looking at was asking for TEN. That's twenty-thousand reais. R$20,000. !!!??? The freaking 1 bedroom apartment costs R$2000 per month! What makes you think I have R$20,000 just sitting around, waiting to be used?!?

Option Four (and the options that the angels made available for us): STRAIGHT UP DEPOSIT! This is probably the least common method, which really limits your options, but also your decisions! Our apartment is still asking for a bazillion dollars (3 months deposit and 3 months of rent up front) but since we did have a little bit saved up, we can do it.

My advice would be to have about 6 months worth of rent saved up so that you can offer this as a deposit option to people who are being jerks and insisting on a fiador.

As for you, if you don't have one of these options available to you, you might be renting a room in a party house or in an older lady's house. I'm serious. Does anyone else have experience renting outside of these options? If so, I believe you found a miracle.

As for us, we got our place and we get the keys on Monday...!!! Wahoo!

Moving to Zona Sul....?

2011-08-19T16:46:00.003-03:00

The view of Pão de Açucar from Botafogo Beach

We are so close to moving to Zona Sul I can taste it and it tastes like a delicious glass of cold milk after you just ate a big piece of chocolate cake. (P.S. Milk. It's that delicious.)

Don't believe me?

So, the apartment in question is in the lovely neighborhood of Botafogo. It was always a neighborhood that I thought really fit my personality - Botafogo has a lot of good restaurants, cool and interesting bars, big trees, bike lanes & parks, a neighbor-ly personality...

It's also the home of 'our football team' (put in quotations because that would imply that we have a team, which we do not, but everyone in Brazil MUST have a team. I'm pretty sure it's a federal law. So, our team is Botafogo).

Anyway, I've compiled a list of reasons why moving to Botafogo from Jacarepagua will greatly improve my quality of life:

The sidewalks are not broken into a million peices.
You don't have to walk up a gigantic hill to get to the apartment, and then walk up another giant hill once you enter the condo just to get to your building. (It's like a mountain)
The buses are comfortably full, not literally bursting at the seams.
You have a variety of options for restaurants and bars. And no, Bar do Tio Joao, Tio Paulo & Tio Orlando do not count as 'variety'.
There are actual trees, not sprouts of grass that have found life through the dusty cement.
People understand that at 6:30 a.m., on a dangerously crowded bus, it's inconsiderate to scream and laugh LOUDLY, sounding like a bunch of parrots, and give the bus driver fliers (while he is driving at about 100km/hr) about buying purified water filters, while I am holding on to the railing with the tips of two fingers and my backpack in my other hand. (true story, happened to me yesterday).
I hope to God people don't do number 6 in Botafogo.
THE METRO!!!!!
I have friends close by! (Bia, if you are reading this, you still live far away from me, even in Barra!)
Leme Beach, Praia de Botafogo, Rio Sul Mall, Metro, Friends, Bars/Restaurants, Culture, Theatres, Parks, Bike Lanes, Close to Work = QUALIDADE DE VIDA!

Ahhh!!! Guess what?
Ro just called!

WE GOT THE APARTMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'M MOVING TO ZONA SUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mini Accomplishments on an Emotional Roller Coaster

2011-08-08T21:26:00.001-03:00

Ok it's blog time!

Phew, what a week. It's been an 'emotional roller-coaster' week for me. I go through these periods of 'the whole world is going to end and everything sucks' every so often but this time was pretty bad. It made me realize that I seriously need to see a psychologist.

There are just so many highly negative emotions I experience living here. So many feelings of anger that I have for reasons that I can't even explain to myself. Feelings of sadness. Loneliness. Frustration. Resentment. I wish I had more friends. I wish things were easier (bureaucratically). I wish I saw my husband more often. I wish I made more money. I wish I had more free time. I wish I had less free time. I wish I had more hobbies. I wish I wasn't afraid to make a phone call in Portuguese.
Yeah, it's pretty much like a child has smeared poop all over the wall, up there in my head.

I thought a pic of real poop on a wall would be too much... You're welcome.

On the other hand, there are very highly positive feelings that I experience living here. Little accomplishments bring me so much happiness.
I have way more friends now than I had a year and half ago. Brazilian jeitinho can actually help you out a lot. The tiny slivers of time that Ro and I can spend together lift my mood so much. I make a decent salary for someone who doesn't have any formal training teaching - just me and my serious love for teaching (and researching like crazy). I have weekends and almost all day on Friday off. My free time is a good opportunity to get things done in the house and with work. I have more time for reading, which I love! I actually know how to speak on the phone in Portuguese so I don't know why I let that get to me.
Also, I'm just lucky to be living in another country having this experience that I'll mos def look back on and think "why I be so crazy?"

So, I gotta clear that shit up, because it's crazy up in here. (In my crazy head)

You know what? I'm going to start with some mini goals.

I need to find a psychologist who speaks English in Rio. Anyone?
I want to book a dentist appointment
I want to start Portuguese classes
I want to start acupuncture
I want to find a new apartment in a better neighbourhood

Today's mini accomplishment were:

I successfully booked an acupuncture appointment (all by myself!)
I successfully found and spoke to a dentist (I have to call back to book tomorrow but I found it!)
I saw a Portuguese teacher giving a class randomly and I approached her and we're trying to find a time to meet
Ro and I rearranged our schedules to have one day per week to see apartments.

Good day. Good day.

My love/hate relationship with Sleep

2011-07-27T22:01:00.001-03:00

I have a dysfunctional relationship with sleep.

Don't get me wrong... I love sleeping. If I were to chart my history with sleep, I'd say it's been a pretty good ride.

But let's look at functional sleep of an average person. When we're babies we sleep a lot. Probably... 15 hours a day, let's say. Then into our teens we started to realize that staying up was more fun - especially to watch a movie, or stay awake at a sleepover. Into our adult years, we develop a real appreciation for sleep as we look forward to that deep state of relaxation after a hard day's work.

Well, I did say I have a dysfunctional relationship with sleep, didn't I?

You see, I feel like I'm living in a constant state of sleepiness. It has stopped me from doing things I like - being social, going to the gym, eating healthy, even *gasp* having sex. Because I'm always tired. And when you're tired, well it's a lot of effort to roll over and ask for a snuggle.

The real problem for me is that no matter how tired I am, or how little sleep I got the night before, around 9:30/10 pm I am, as the Brazilians would say, 'electric'. I have lots of energy and produce some of my best work at that time! It's the time I choose to start planning my classes for the next day and then consequently I am in bed around midnight every night.

And I wake up at 5 am. So you do the math.

The mornings are so difficult. I usually hit my beloved snooze button for 30 mins before literally forcing myself to get out of bed, where I often shower with my eyes closed. Sometimes I wake up 15 mins later than I should (and I already wake up with less time than I actually need!) convincing myself that I don't need to dry my hair or put on makeup today! Or it's ok if I'm 10 minutes late! This is Brazil!

I walk around like a zombie after getting only around 5 hours of sleep a night 5 days out of the week.
And every day I get home, ~~die~~ nap, eat, watch tv, plan classes at 10, and repeat.

And I know I'm not alone out there! So many of us are living this way! As if it's a test to see who can function the best on the least amount of sleep. We get through our days with coffee, energy drinks, sugar and sheer will-power. It's torture, I tell you!

So I am taking a stand. I am saying NO MORE! No more 'napping' from 6-8 pm. No more eating a big meal after waking up from said 'nap'. No more staying awake just to watch more TV, since it's a show I don't even care about anyway!

No, I'm taking these steps.

I am going to get organized
I'm going to plan my classes before sitting down to relax or going to the gym.
I'm going to go to the gym as soon as I'm finished my class planning
When I get home I need to eat a small meal
I want to be in bed by 10 pm and read to relax me into a peaceful sleep.... (that being said, it's 10 pm right now and look at what I'm doing... DAMMIT!)

My MIL also told me to take Maracujina, which is like passion fruit extract (you all know how these Brazilians think that passionfruit helps you sleep!) Well, I'm not turning anything down so I'm taking it as well and we'll see what happens....

Anyone else have helpful suggestions as to what helps you sleep at night??

My Online and (Offline?) Worlds Collide...

2011-07-18T18:54:00.001-03:00

This weekend was such a whirlwind of 'new' that I feel today should be Saturday. I need a weekend from my weekend.

But Oh! What a weekend it was! I suppose you could say this is the pinnacle of what all blogging communities could hope to achieve - to get out from behind the computers and talk IN REAL LIFE about, well, everything. Actually, I've been speaking sooo much English this weekend it was almost as if I were on a vacation from Rio, while simultaneously enjoying more than I knew it had to offer! So many amazing people to connect with. Such great conversation, sharing of ideas, and discovering, in so much more detail, other foreign experiences of Life In Brazil.

I was even lucky enough to go beyond the amazing Blog Meetup and spend the rest of the weekend with Jim (who was an incredible host and who makes DELICIOUS pies!), Rachel (hilarious and entertaining as always!) and of course, the guest of honour for the weekend, Danielle (who is 10x better than I could have expected!)

It's pretty big, meeting up with these people. I'm sure many others can relate when I say that reading blogs has helped me through one hard time or another. I read blogs while in anticipation of my move to Brazil, and have read them all the way through. This community has been a really solid form of support for me and without it I'm not sure what sort of outlet I would've had. So, that's why when I say it was a gigantic honour to spend time with these guys, whose words have helped me more than they know, you can all understand where I'm coming from.

This blog meet-up was a huge success! I hope that many more (meetings and bloggers!) come out of the shadows in the near future...

Saude!

It is NOT cheap to live in Brazil

2011-07-09T22:06:00.000-03:00

Today's post is brought to you by the letter F. F-RUSTRATED. Consider yourselves warned for a rant.

WHY? This is my first question. WHY is it so impossible to make a comfortable life in Brazil? Ok. That's a complete exaggeration. I'm not 'uncomfortable' per say. But I'm being completely cock-blocked by the Brazilian class system!

Why is it it that I don't have the option to live 'wherever I want to' in Rio? I guess that's more accurate. Ok, I don't want to live in a mansion with aquarium walls and butlers. I just want to live in a neighborhood with culture and convenience. I want to be able to walk to the supermarket EASILY. I want to be able to catch ONE bus to work, not two or three. I want to live less than 30 mins from downtown, ideally RIGHT downtown (right now we live about 2 hours from). I want to live close to a bookstore. I want to have a variety of restaurant options (not just rice and beans), possibly some places with live music (not just MPB). Shit, I want to have a martini and I don't even drink martinis.

I live in a neighborhood that is classified as a "C" Class neighborhood, although that title was probably given by "A" Class citizens. What's after "C" class? I guess favelas... ? It's not even the money, or lackthereof, that gets to me. It's the lack of convenience and culture specifically. It's like the affordable neighborhoods have been pushed and pushed away to the outskirts of society.

I have obviously been conditioned after spending 5 years living on my own in Toronto, but in Toronto all you have to do is choose. And even the lower-end apartments are pretty awesome and are downtown. I pay the same amount of money (in relation to my salary) living in Jacarepagua that I did living in a fully equipped condo, right downtown Toronto.

What I don't understand, and what I can't accept, is why there is so much class-ism in Rio. Classes are divided in a disturbing way. My husband and I work HARD and, in my opinion, do fairly well financially. I have always lived very comfortably in the middle class, but even though my salary is similar to home, here I live in almost low class. We have to choose housing that is so far away in the 'suburbs'. We can't even afford to live in Barra, which again in my opinion, IS INSANELY OVERPRICED. BARRA IS CRAP AND YOU NEED A CAR TO LIVE THERE. WHY OH WHY WOULD PEOPLE BE CHARGING R$3000 A MONTH FOR A ONE BEDROOM IN BARRA DA TIJUCA?????? THERE IS NOTHING IN BARRA!!!!!

Living in Barra is the equivalent of living in Scarborough, across from Scarborough Town Centre. Oh, awesome, you live near a mall.

I am shaking my head. It's infuriating how much of a glass ceiling exists in Brazil. Today's apartment search made me hate Rio and the person who is responsible for making independent living so unattainable. Congratulations Rio. You live in a Stone Age. An unequal opportunity Stone Age.

Today's post is also brought to you by the letter G. Gah!!!!!

American Party

2011-07-04T13:11:00.001-03:00

It's a complete coincidence that this post is falling on the 4th of July; it has nothing to do with America's Independence Day. (First because I'm Canadian, and second because it's just not).

It IS about a concept that is new/strange/totally uncommon amongst Brazilians (at least in MY circle of Brazilians, before you Brazilian readers blow your socks off). This concept is the POTLUCK party.

As the picture indicates, a Potluck party means that all guests need to bring a plate of food to share! What an awesome concept, you say? I KNOW!

However, when I presented the idea to our B-zilly poss, EVERYBODY'S HEADS EXPLODED. I kid you not. Nobody could really comprehend the idea. "We have to BRING something?" "We have to COOK it OURSELVES?" "We can't just bring a bottle of wine??" YES, YES AND NO!

Now, I understand that there are several possible reasons that this misunderstanding existed.

I was writing a Facebook Party Invitation in Portuguese. Perhaps there was a little bit of language barrier. But even after I seeked the help of a Brazilian friend who wrote the actual message for me, we were still met with confusion.
I was trying to describe the party, calling it a Potluck. I didn't realize there is already a name for this party. It's called an American Party. Go figure.
This was a birthday party. In Brazil, you do not bring anything (minus a gift - which is always a tshirt???) to a birthday party. It's fine to bring food to a Festa Junina. But a birthday party, no. Usually birthday parties are at a restaurant, or they're catered, or feature a full pizza rodizio, or maybe MAYBE the host will prepare the food, but asking people to bring food has quite possibly never ever happened in the History of Birthday Parties in Brazil. Ever. (Based on complete non-fact).
Finally, once everyone seemed to understood the concept of a Potluck, they could not understand why they had to physcially make the dish themselves. This was by far the most challenging aspect. I was met with 'I have no idea what to cook", "I don't know how to cook!", and "I'll ask my mom to cook something." Crazy!!!!

With all do respect to my crazy, lovable, Brazilian peeps, I know things are different here. That being said, after all of the confusion, everybody managed to come up with something totally awesome and creative to bring and the result was a table FULL of delicious home-cooked food to share!

And of course, we provided all the drinks, including a full make-your-own caipirinha station. That's how the Potluck works!

Woohoo! I did it! Maybe this is the start of more Potlucks to come here in Brazil. For us, parties at home are where it's at. Here are a few of my tips on how to make your party more special (and cheap!).

Create an event on Facebook and message your guests regularly. You don't have to be annoying; just remind them and get them excited for the big event.
Decorate with unexpected surprises - for example, 10 balloons are cool but 100 balloons are stupidly cool!!!
Stick to one colour (or two) for a classier look. We went with green and silver and used streamer paper to put on the tables and then covered them in plastic for protection.
Rearrange the furniture to make sure people aren't separated from each other. Or if they have to be, at least so there are distinct areas (we had a sit-down conversation circle and a games area)
Expect that there will be spills and messes to clean up. Have lots of paper towel ready.
Make sure you have too much. Too much alcohol. Too much food. Too many napkins. Too many plates/forks/knives. You never know how much people will want to indulge!
You better make sure that music is pumpin'! Make a great playlist that will keep going for a few hours so you don't start repeating.

Happy Partying! Oh, and P.S. Happy Birthday to the love of my life!

The Love of my Nina

2011-06-19T22:28:00.001-03:00

I have had cats in my life. Several in fact. Some belonged to the family and some were mine alone. But I've never experienced the kind of love, companionship and joy that my little Siamese, Nina, gave me. In fact, I believe I shared a relationship with her that is rare even in animal-person relationships. You see, our first ride home from Sao Paulo, my little kitty cried for 6 hours, but stared at me deeply, right into my eyes with her own soulful eyes. She looked at me deeply that way, making eye contact, for her whole life. It was moving. I shared with her complete trust and devotion. She was a warm-bodied friend who kept me company for many lonely nights that I spent during my first year in Brazil.

During our first year, Ro worked almost exclusively at night. Combine that with a language barrier, homesickness, and not having many (any) friends, Nina brought me pure happiness just by staying close to me and clearly 'choosing' me, just as I had 'chosen' her.
She licked my tears. She sat in my lap and purred her soft comforting purr. She 'helped' me plan classes, watched Sex in the City with me, and helped me finish my ice cream. There was no need to buy her a cat bed because we slept together every night in the bed that we shared. It was our room. The three of us. She was our 'baby child'.

Although I could never imagine the loss of a child, the thought of losing her was inconceivable. Even before I knew she was sick, I couldn't imagine life without her. I planned my life with her in it. I imagined growing older, having human babies with Ro, moving to Canada, etc etc and all the while having Nina by our side.

Although it's been said before, the unconditional love of a pet is like nothing else - it's beyond words that I'm even capable of expressing. And truly, the only downside to having a pet is losing them.

Nina was The Queen. She had the run of the house. At night, when she chose to sleep at the foot of the bed, or settle down against my back, we would do everything we could not to disrupt her, careful not to create too much noise or agitate her enough to run away. The same way I felt pure joy inside when I felt her jump onto the bed, I felt sincere sadness when she got annoyed and jumped down. I missed her when I was out but knew as soon as I stepped out of the elevator down the hall, she would be listening and meowing at the door until I opened it. She was waiting for me every. single. time.

Without words Nina was able to communicate clearly and loudly what she wanted. Siamese cats are known for being very vocal. She had approximately 7 different cries and she exercised her voice all the time, much to my delight. She wanted water from the tap, she saw a bug on the wall, she wanted a kiss, she wanted Jose (our other cat) to leave her alone, she wanted more petting (that one was more of a series of trills), she was standing in the hallway and nobody was there and she just wanted someone to come in and look at her. Each meow unique. Each one like music.

She's the only living creature in the world that I would let lick my mouth and also put her butt right in my face. Well, the butt in the face wasn't really that great. But the licks on the mouth every morning and night were so so wonderful and I miss them so so much.

Sunday night, Brazilian Valentine's Day, Nina didn't come to sleep with me in bed. Ro said she also didn't come to the door when he came in from work. Monday morning, Nina crawled into my bedroom just before I was leaving for work, let out one sad meow and lay down on the floor. She was having obvious difficulty breathing. Right away I called work to cancel my classes so we could take her to the vet.

We spent 12 hours that day driving to 3 different vet offices. She had blood taken, x-rays done, oxygen given, an IV inserted... It was discovered that she had fluid in her lungs and around her heart and had developed pneumonia. She hadn't even shown any signs of being sick.

Breathing was getting harder and harder for her, especially with the added stress of the car rides and various strangers poking and prodding her. We were advised to take her home after the 2nd vet, to let the antibiotics work and to let her relax a little, but from there things took a turn for the worse. When she could barely lift her head and started vomiting blood, we knew we had to take her to emergency. She died 2 hours later on the table, terribly, but in our arms.

I will never forget the last hours we spent with our baby. She was so weak but she kept lifting her head to make eye contact with me. She asked for the special chin rubs that her daddy gave best. I felt that she knew we were with her until the end and I want to her know that we really were.

I was lucky to have Nina in my life. My only solace in her sudden death comes from my belief that her purpose here, in her short one and a half years, was to help me through my first year in Brazil. I believe that, because that is exactly what she did. I hope that she is spreading her love and warmth to others who need her now.
Nina, my baby, I miss you so much and I will love you forever.

Holiday Time!

2011-05-03T09:40:00.003-03:00

La la la! I'm off to Mexico today for a very exciting holiday! A very good Canadian friend of mine is getting married in Mexico so we're off to the land of sombreros, tequila and mariachis! Don't forget your poncho!

I felt it necessary to point out that my friend is Canadian (living in Canada) and not Brazilian because everyone who I've told about this wedding thinks that having a wedding abroad is 'que chique'. And, well, I suppose it is, but the fact is travel from Canada is so relatively cheap!

Travel from Brazil, I'll have you know, is not.

In fact, its hella complicated! For one thing, the all-inclusive resort concept is only just starting to creep into people's collective travel brains.
(In the collective-thought Brazilian-travel-brain, people go (and want to go - for unknown reasons even... this is a collective thought brain) to New York, Miami, and most recently Cancun - I will bet you a million dollars that if you ask any Brazilian where they would travel to if they could go anywhere, they would say one of those 3 places. And if it's Europe, they want to go to Portugal.)

So because this kind of travel is not so common here, we booked though wedding package group but had to book a flight separately. Booked through orbitz.com (which had the best prices of all) but finding a flight for $800 return each (yay!) means that we're taking about 4 flights to get to the wedding (boooourns!!!!!!)

We are not going to Cancun (thank God for that! Please don't go to Cancun.... it's way way way too touristy) We are going to Puerto Vallarta (I'm sure will be touristy as well but it's less popular) and after the week in PVR we'll be branching out to 'backpack' some cities. Actually, I'm not bringing a backpack this time, so we'll be branching out to 'suitcase' some cities.

On the itinerary is Guadalajara, Guanajuato and final stop Mexico City. Caaaaaaaaan't Wait! This will be my 3rd time in Mexico and it is a really cool country.

I'll do my best to update on the where/when/why/how of all these places so if faced with the choice, you don't have to automatically go to Cancun.

Today we leave in about T-4 hours with our final arrival point being 28 hours after we leave. Can I just take this moment for a blank stare? :-| Blink blink. Yes, 28 hours from now, we will be in sunny Puerto Vallarta.

Yikes.

It's all worth it to see my best friend get married though and, did I mention, we'll also be celebrating two years of marriage while we're there too. Happy happy days ahead!!

Boa viagem!

I Heart My Bike

2011-04-18T20:04:00.000-03:00

Inspired by Danielle's blog about her quest for an appropriate gym, I thought I'd share some of the exercise in which I've been partaking.

I won't even bother with the details of our gym search in our new place in Jacarepagua (like how one gym doesn't even LET you do several necessary exercises, or how one gyms equipment was practically falling apart and ripping the skin from my thighs). No, I will not bother with that.

We did find a gym that is pretty good. We're happy enough (even though they close on Sundays, blast!). It's decent.

But sometimes it's hard to go... Y'know we're tired after work, I'm too fat and lazy... blah blah blah! We were also pretty used to getting around via bicicleta in Canada so we bought ourselves some bikes to make the trip to the gym easier (irony???) and just to generally get around.

Lately, Ro took it upon himself to be CRAZY and start biking to work. When I say crazy, I mean really out of his mind. It's about a 16 km ride each way. Throw in there a day of work and you got yourself one crazy mo-fo. So, logically, I was jealous (as I usually am when he starts doing more exercise than me). I got myself so jealous-ed up that I decided "Fine! You wanna ride to work? I'M gonna ride to work!" Right. Totally logical and sane and not at all obsessively competitive.

So today was my first bike ride to work. It's definitely less distance but still about 10-11 km each way. My class starts at 7am which meant leaving the house at 6am. I had my bag packed... my little flat shoes and cardigan tucked inside, my music ready, a towel to absorb all the buckets of sweat sure to come out of my face and armpits and probably butt.
Oh shush, you know your butts get sweaty. Try sitting down after a workout and see if there's not a sweat stain on that seat. If there isn't, you didn't work hard enough!

Ahem. Pardon me. So I ride. And about 30 seconds in I ride over some glass! Then I think the tire is leaking air. It didn't look that flat before, did it? I panic. I almost actually just give up, right there, after 30 seconds. The fastest give up ever! I call Ro. He tells me to put air in the tire. I whine I've never put air in the tire before! He says it's ridiculously easy. I whine, maybe to you, you've done it before!
(P.S. It IS ridiculously easy... perhaps the one thing that Brazil has that is far easier than N. America!)

Moving on. I figured out how to put the air and I'm happy again. I ride. As I ride, I pass many men who are on there way to work. I laugh at how 'prepared' I am for this bike ride and how these guys are biking in flip flops and bent up tires. Seriously bent up. Every guy I pass looks at me and about half of them ding their wimpy little bells and kiss at me. Brrrring brrrrrring! One guy passes wearing a drywall mask and a towel on his head and gives me a long, heart-felt brrrrrrrrring! How did he know that paper-masked men ringing bicycle bells are what really get me excited??? I was feeling preeeeetty confident after that one!

When I finally arrive at my students' office, I am literally a hot, sweaty mess. But the trip took longer than I thought so I had to run in without a chance to rinse off. After sitting in a plastic chair for an hour in the same pants I rode in in... what do you think I left behind? A big, embarrassing, sweaty butt mark!

But I did feel pretty freaking awesome so I'm afraid my student will have to endure my sweatiness... at least once a week.

Moral of the story.
Biking is...
good for your soul
good for your legs
good for the environment
good for your stress

Biking is...
bad for your butt (sweat)
bad for your students' chair
bad for your student in general
bad for your ego (or do I mean good? wink wink)

Moral of the moral = Get a bike!

Big bootie, small boobies? You're good!

2011-04-13T13:15:00.000-03:00

When I got to Brazil, it was observed (verbally) by many that I had "such big legs". You may or may not remember a little term that Danielle invented called "Brazilian Honesty". I have adopted this term for myself because it is oh-such-a-thing. Anyway, on several separate occassions people have looked at my legs and actually exclaimed "Wow, you have such big legs!"

So, how would you react to that comment?

Initially, obviously, I was a little insulted. Not only do you NOT need to comment on my physical appearance, but you definitely do NOT need to highlight my flaws so dramatically! I didn't say to you "Damn that is a gigantic ass! No really, it is truly enormous... the biggest I've ever seen".

Y'see, the thing is, if I HAD said that, the person to whom I was speaking would MOST LIKELY reply "oh my god thank you! oh wow you're sooooo nice!"

Y'see my friends... contrary to our beauty ideals up in the snowy north and in the US of A... in Brazil the bigger your legs and ass, the better! If I hadn't been so defensive all along, I'd have realized, like a smack in the face, that these people were COMPLIMENTING me.

Ohhhhhhh! I get it now.

So when the saleslady in the dress store exclaims with enthusiasm "Wow, you have such nice big calves!" I have to understand that she is saying, "I would kill for calves (do we still pluralize like baby cows?) like those that barely fit into pant legs!"

And when my gay friend Joaozinho (yes, you Joaozinho) says one night "Oh. My. God. You have Such. Big. Legs!" I have to know he's saying "I'll protect you and pretend to be your boyfriend tonight cus the guys gon' go cah-razy!"

You'll notice the way girls exercise at the gym too that generally about 80% of their workout is legs and ass, with probably about 60% of that chunk (pun inTENded) being ass-only. I cried to Ro last night about it because I don't WANNA do that much ass at the gym!! I don't like it! It's hard! But if I want a killer ass, well, I'd better hop to it.

Also, as a final vote of confidence for my Big-Legged Beauties... the bigger the ass but the SMALLER the boobies is also a vote your way. To be bottom-heavy/top-light is the way to go here, girls. So if you felt/feel judged in the America to the North, please come take a trip down to Brazil. I promise within 3 days of arriving your concerns about your fat ass and thighs will float right away, straight into a bikini and an ice cold beer!

Yoga in Brazil

2011-04-01T20:02:00.003-03:00

I've always been a pretty big yoga-doer (I wouldn't go so far as to call myself a Yogi but hey, you feel free). Trouble is, I haven't really found any serious yoga here that really appealed to me. To be fair, I've only tried about 4 different classes. But doing yoga in Brazil really made me realize something...

Part of why I love yoga is the encouragement and language used to help you deepen your movements and breath. And, well, yoga in Portuguese doesn't have quite the same effect! Especially when I really don't know the specific yoga language in Port and I was constantly turning my head to see what everyone else was doing. Little hard to relax like that.

So I was a bit turned off of even finding a class here (that and the yoga at the gym was not at a convenient time for me). I'm not so into pilates (and they have lots and lots of pilates here) so basically I just gave up on yoga.

Recently we joined the gym close to our house and I tried the yoga class there. It was so totally against all yoga principals that I believe I actually stopped in the middle of the class with a look of pure horror and just stared at the seemingly sweet little instructor. Seriously, I couldn't believe it.
She was acting as a drill sergeant, screaming out "encouragement", no flow, no focus on breathing, all show. If you're interested in the principals of yoga, this is a good article.

So, it really got me thinking back to the yoga I enjoyed in the past. The effects of yoga had been innumerable for me. Physically and mentally I felt connected and strong. I used to do this this ridiculously amazing video with my favourite yogi Eoin Finn. You can find the video available for sale on amazon here. Seriously, eez best maan. Anyway, something had to be done about the lack of yoga in my life.

Unfortunately I left my copy of the video at home though so in a very non yoga way, I looked for some pirated videos. I found one called Power Yoga with Rodney Yee, another great instructor. Then I went and bought a yoga mat. The brand I bought is called Body Up and I got it from the gym in New York Shopping in Barra. It is AWEESOMMMMEEEEEE. Like, I was ridiculously happy just because of this mat. A little pricey at R$95 but it came with a case and it's a nice colour. It has excellent grip and has the Om symbol at the top as a guide for your feet.

So the moral of this story. Tonight I did my yoga class in my living room with my new mat. Do you ever do an activity that makes you so happy that you just smile involuntarily all the way through? It was just that good. The only other two activities that make me do that are Zumba and Body Jam.

Finally, if you are interested in a yoga studio in Rio, I found this yoga network that mentions all of the studios associated with this Registered Yoga Association. Here you go!

Have fun and namaste :)

Things I've Started to Appreciate

2011-03-23T22:49:00.001-03:00

I've had an epiphany of sorts and it's helped me turn my frame of mind.

When I first got to Brazil, I was pretty consumed with everything I missed about home and every aspect of Brazil that didn't live up to my desires. But I've met a friend. And I've moved into my own apartment. For anyone who underestimates the importance, value and raw necessity of friends and personal space - I am your living proof that these two elements alone will improve your quality of life x 1,000,000. I exaggerate you not. Especially if you are living in a foreign country.

If you want to be really really happy, you should also get a cat or two and some plants.

I'm currently mothering two little cats (we got a second one in the last 2 weeks! Little José... ) and I'm growing basil, lemon balm, corriander, green onion and cat grass.

I also read the bible to orphans on weekends. haha. No, no I don't do that.

Things I currently like about Brazil:

- Eating fresh mamão (papaya) in the morning with honey from my BeeHive Keeper. Ok, yeah right, I wish I had a BeeHive Keeper but I coincidentally met this guy at the market on Sunday who keeps hives so he's my unofficial honey provider.

- Salgados all varieties, but most preferably joelho's - tasty little bread shaped knees filled with delicious ham and cheese or other wonderful flavours.

- Fresh herbs sooooo cheap and SOOOO BEAUTIFUL. The most beautiful basil I've ever seen. I swear I would divorce my husband just to marry a bunch of basil.

- Cats! I love 'em, I pet 'em, I kiss 'em, I talk baby talk to 'em, I have two of 'em... cats cats cats!

***PICTURE STILL UNAVAILABLE! SORRY!***

- My apartment!!!!!!!! It's so comfortable and AWESOME to walk around your own house in your undies or less. Or more!!! Hey! It's my house and I wear what I want!

- Cooking so much food. Extra spicy and extra onions (my MIL would absolutely curl up her face in disgust at both of those options).

Ahhhhh.... life is GOOD! We live in an apartment surrounded by favelas (Cidade de Deus is literally right down the street), and it's fantastic. It's real. It's hard. It's simple. It's Brazil!

Taxi Cab Confessions

2011-03-04T12:35:00.000-03:00

Lovely rainy, cool day today. It's really awesome, I love it. It also gives me a good excuse not to take the bus (which I hate) and take a taxi (which I hate less). Actually, I love taxis - I just don't like to spend money on them.

Inside my comfortable, plush, spacious and cool taxi cab today, I find myself in conversation with the driver. He's making the usual taxi cab small talk. "Are you excited for Carnaval?" "Do you live in Jacarepagua" (and now that enough evidence of my accent has been exposed) "You're not Brazilian, are you?"

Taxi Cab Driver and I start discussing how it's nice to have an international relationship to learn about different countries and cultures. He tells me "ah yeah, eu namorei com um francesa. Ela ja voltou para Franca e queria para mim mudar la com ela, mas 'tava complicado... porque eu sou casado... tenho filhos... entendeu?"

Um. Yes. I entendi.

So, let me get this straight (and now reveal for the non-Portuguese speakers)... you are openly admitting to me that you used to have a French girlfriend while you were married who wanted you to move to France but you couldn't because it was complicated??

When did this turn into an episode of Taxi Cab Confessions?

The honesty isn't even what is shocking. It's more about the fact that it seems like too many people are advocates for cheating here! Remember Rachel's post on cheating? 70% of Brazilian men are cheating or have cheated? I have a good friend here who rooms with some older Brazilian ladies who have lived here their whole lives. In these ladies' opinions, cheating is a part of life. You can't, and shouldn't, expect your partner to be faithful.

Pair with it a general culture of overt sexuality; private motels for ~~hookers~~ couples - No wait, I change it back; women who identify themselves as 'feminine' and think they have power by exploiting their sexuality; men who think they run the place and treat others like meat... and the cycle continues. Clearly I'm generalizing but I'm also not.

My whole point is that this culture of accepting cheating is done by both parties. Men cheat and women accept. The only reason I'm not giving the statistic the other way around is that my guess is in a masochistic society, the woman is around to serve and stay faithful. I guess if they're ok with it in their own love triangles, ok for them.

But that is not for me. In fact, I strongly believe that once you've committed yourself to another person (and if you both have made an agreement that you will be faithful to each other) cheating is 100% unacceptable. That includes suggestive texting, suggestive messages on FB or anything that involves hiding something from your partner out of fear of them finding out.

That Taxi Cab Driver did not get a tip.

Banking in Brazil

2011-02-28T18:01:00.000-03:00

You've all heard the rumours. Bureaucracy in Brazil is a nightmare, everything takes 10x longer to complete than other places, everything is disorganized and inconsistent and you just end up wanting to kill yourself (or someone around you) before the whole thing is done.

Oh, did I say rumour? I meant the absolute god-awful truth.

So, yet another experience trying integrate myself into Brazil has been opening a bank account. I've actually gone a whole year without one, which wasn't so bad because I was squatting at my in-laws. I didn't have a lot of 'money-management' to worry about. Living on cash made me feel like a millionaire and when it was gone, I just couldn't do any more things!

Now, I need to up the responsibility factor. That and it's so much easier for students to be able to pay for their classes by making deposits directly into my account. I've heard that opening a bank account requires a lot of information ie. Your CPF, your Brazilian ID, a proof of income (if you want a chequing account), a proof of address (that can ONLY be a a fixed telephone line or a gas bill), your first-born son, a skin sample and a pap test done by one of their official Bank Doctors. (Ok those last 3 I made up but I swear to God it would be easier to give my first-born child if it would just get me a damn bank card already!)

So I head on into a Bradesco (because that's where my husband banks). Well, the first trip in, I ended up waiting for 2 hours and falling asleep before being wakened by my husband to say that we had to go because I had to get back to work. Alright, I could chalk it up to a bout of bad luck that time.

Next time, I go alone with my cpf, ID, and my cell phone bill (which is all I have in my name with my address). I walk up to the guy sitting behind a desk at the front of the bank and I ask him to open an account. He asks me if I would like Life Insurance with that but I'm really just looking for the most basic thing ya got.
I showed him my cell phone bill and asked him if it would be enough to use that instead of a fixed telephone line and was so happy because he assured me that yes! It would be totally fine.

So I go in, ready for the second marathon wait. Surprisingly, the bank is empty, but that of course doesn't mean that people are being serviced any faster. In fact, I asked a lady sitting at the accounts desk if I could sit down and asked me to só aguarda while she continued her ti ti ti with all the co-workers around her. Cool, no problem. I'm opening an account! Nothing could go wrong today!

So after about an hour, that same lady decides to do some work and calls me over. I sit down, give her the speech... I'm not from here but I have all the docs. I confidently hand over my info and she takes a quick look over. Then she says,

"Oh, you can't use this cell phone bill. It has to be a fixed bill"
Me: Blank Stare.
Her: "Yeah, you need to come back with a fixed phone or gas bill."
Me: "But I just asked that guy at the front of the bank if this bill would be ok and he said yes..."
Her: "What guy?"
Me: "That guy right there! At the front of the bank!"
Her: "Oh that guy? That guy doesn't work at the bank."
Me: Blank Stare.
Me: "That guy wearing the Bradesco shirt, sitting at the desk, giving out information doesn't work for the bank?
Her: "No."
Me: "Well, maybe you should tell him to stop giving out random information???"
Her: "Mm hmm"

Gah! So, I left in a fury almost giving up on banking altogether. At least after that I gave up on Bradesco.

I decided the next week that I would try Itaú.

I took Ro with me for sanity. We took all the documents (learning that we needed to bring a bill in his name plus our marriage certificate to prove we live together). Everyone was super nice in Itaú. Really helpful. It was our turn. Everything was going swimmingly. Until my CPF didn't work.

Something about the system not reading it, something something I am going crazy. I leave in another fury of frustration.

I go back again today. The Fourth Time. I am bitter. I am expecting problems. I encounter more problems!
The first one is that my ID card and my CPF have diff names. Namely, my ID doesn't have my maiden name and my CPF does. Somehow Awesome Bank Guy overrides that. Next. Our bill doesn't have our CEP on it (type of postal/zip code). Somehow Awesome Bank Guy overrides that. I don't know what stars aligned today because despite all of the new problems of today ... I GOT MY BANK CARD! For that, Awesome Bank Guy gets Danielle's Caught Being Good Award.

I am now a happy, satisfied customer of Itaú. Anyone who wants to give me money, can! Isn't that great?!

As a final afterthought, I love how I now enter into these situations expecting problems and when I DON'T, I think it's the most awesome service experience ever. I've been so conditioned here.

Carnaval: Guide to Blocos 2011

2011-02-26T11:36:00.001-03:00

I'm really not the best person to write about Carnaval in Rio. In fact, I don't really know why I'm writing about it now. Last year, we barely participated, minus going to the beach in Recreio for a couple of hours to have some beers before getting tired of hearing Samba music and drunk people and returning like hermits from the holes we came from.

Yeah, it would appear that we really suck?

But to be honest, I've never been, and can't pretend to be, a big party girl. Going to a quiet pub for a max of 4 beers or heading out once in a while to the club (once in a rare while) is about all that I can muster. Friday nights I much prefer to stay in the house, drinking and eating in comfort, with the freedom to sit on my toilet seat and throw my toilet paper in the toilet if I so choose. Hell, I can even lay down if I want with no worries of being kicked out for "over consumption" (not that I've EVER seen that happening in Rio but I'm programmed to think that sleeping in a bar is a no-no).

Carnaval, therefore, isn't really that appealing to me... at least as far as the party aspect goes! But one thing I do love is to see people having a good time. You can really feel the love for Carnaval and see the joy in people's hearts during this time - whether it's booze induced or not!

Well, this year, Imma give it a try. I've got some friends... my husband is most certainly working... I am most certainly NOT working (side note: I really actually tried to convince my students that we should keep having classes during Carnaval so as not to be inconsistent (read: I'm poor) but they would not ~~fall for~~ accept any of my insisting.) I've heard that the blocos in Santa Teresa are the best. And it's pretty exciting to see the big banners with balloons in the streets saying "Carnaval de Rua", meaning that the streets will be closed for the blocos and lots and lots of people.

So, just to help out my fellow Carnaval go-ers... I dug up the list of blocos all over the city.

Zona Sul
Centro
Barra, Recreio & Zona Oeste

The site is available in English as well.

Bom Carnaval para todos!

Lots of space!

2011-02-19T15:55:00.001-02:00

Isn't it great to live on your own? (The answer to that rhetorical question is YES). I wake up every morning thankful for this space that is MINE - maybe I'm sounding like a spoilt North American here, but space, space and more space is what I crave and is something that I felt was lacking very much in my first year in Brazil.

The next blog is my 100th post (yay!) and so for my 100th post I will celebrate by sharing pictures of our new, fabulous space and hence the official mark that "We Live In Brazil". Up until this point I felt like we really weren't living ... in all senses of the word. We had little to no responsibility and in my opinion, this is when one can really say they are 'living'. When one is taking care of oneself.

I just finished baking some banana muffins (so easy - recipe here - sorry Mal, they're not glutton free) and appreciating the very simple fact of waking up when I feel like it (12 pm today and with no shame!) and walking into my kitchen without having to make conversation. I thought I would be lonely with the sudden lack of people around me but I am pleased to announce that I'm not! Actually, things couldn't be better and I find myself calling my MIL on the phone just to say hi... a very nice relationship that I'm happy and excited to cultivate.

So, in case you were sitting around wondering "I wonder how LINDSEY is doing lately", this blog is to update that my feelings lately have been all good in the hood (albeit with moments of frustration, but let's be real... that's because I live in Brazil!)

On a final note related to banana muffins - I'm pretty sure I've mentioned this before but repetitions sake - There is no baking soda in Brazil so if you feel like you can't bake traditional cookies/muffins due to lack of baking soda, fear not. Just triple what the recipe calls for in baking soda with baking powder for the same effect. You might get a bit more baking powder taste but it's ok, still works!

So there's my helpful tip of the day. Have a lovely Saturday all!

Locked INSIDE the house?

2011-02-18T11:25:00.000-02:00

Folks. I'm locked inside the house. Yes, you heard me. I am unable to leave my house because the door is bolted shut from the outside. What the hell kind of security is that, you ask? Well, I was hoping someone could answer me that very question!

Y'see. Locks in Brazil are a tricky thing. Don't expect to come and find your 'easy to open-easy to close' simple North American key locks. Here you've got the world at your feet in terms of options for locks. In our old house, we had the Hotel-Style "once you shut the door it's locked and you can only open it with a key" lock.
Now, we have the "star-shaped key that can only open the bolt if the little dot on the key is facing up and whose lock can only be opened and closed WITH said key" complicated as hell lock.

So the issue is that Ro and I left the house together last night and both took our keys. We had a grand time shopping for new stuff for our apartment so I was understandably high-on-buying when we got back, and I left my key in the car. This morning he went to work and we both forgot that the key was still in the car. Well, being the safety advocate that he is, he locked the door to keep me safe inside. (I know, what a good guy!) And when I went to leave the house to go to my classes... well, without my little star key, I can't get out!

So here I am ... trapped inside my own house. I started to wonder if maybe it was a ploy to get me to clean the house or something... "Oh, you can't leave the house? Ohhhh well... I guess if you have to stay in you could do the dishes!"

Mm hm.

Oh, I'll do the dishes alright. But don't be surprised if one day next week you discover your precious little star-shaped key is missing, the door is locked and I'm laughing at you from right outside the door! At least I know that if my husband ever tries to escape I have a way to trap him.....

New Apartment Comes Complete with All Amenities Plus Ghost

2011-02-09T23:47:00.001-02:00

So, my apartment is haunted. I'm absolutely certain of this fact. Alright.. let me just back up a little....

So we moved into our own apartment all by ourselves!! Yay!! We've been living like adults again for almost two weeks and it's spectacular. Tonight as I walked home, I looked forward to picking up some groceries on the way, tidying up the kitchen, cooking and then ironing. Yes. I am now Dona de MINHA Casa. And while we're on the subject, I prefer not to call myself "HouseWife"... rather I prefer to call myself "AwesomeWife". AwesomeWife does it all and also manages to fit in a glass of red wine and orange Fanta (delicious, swear to god).

So, on nights that Ro is ~~partying it up~~ working and I'm left to tend the house all by mah-self, I feel the ghost's presence. Let me just back up again for a sec...

We rented this apartment by a stroke of luck. Seeing as it's almost impossible to rent an apartment in Rio unless you have a fiador (co-signer) or you're a millionaire and can afford like 4 months of rent up front. Also, rent is also very high and your average salary definitely doesn't match up. So Ro has a friend whose father passed away (unfortunately) but offered to let us rent the apartment without all of the normal necessary requirements(fortunately!).

It's not in the best location ever - it's still just as far and maybe even more difficult to get to places by bus. But it's ours. And it's haunted.

How do I know this? Well, I don't. I only think. But I swear swear swear that sometimes, only when I'm in my bedroom, I feel someone enter the room. I feel it so strongly that I look up thinking that Ro has come home to surprise me! The other thing is that my cat goes into crazy stare and meowing spells. Just now she was sitting in the office (which was the father's room) just meowing and staring at a spot on the ceiling above the window. Ok, so sometimes she's looking at a bug but when I went in just now, there was no bug to be found. She stayed in the office for, like, 15 minutes. Shivers.

THEN, I was sitting here all scared and all of the power went out!! I was suddenly sitting in pitch black thinking 'for sure the ghost is to blame' but then I heard Familia Favelinha next door start yelling and laughing and screaming so I knew it wasn't just me. Thank you to my Little Favela Family for always making noise and making me feel like I'm not alone.

So anyway guys, I gots a ghost and I don't know what to do! I tried to just accept living together with my new ghosty friend but even making silly jokes doesn't take the icey cold fear in my heart go away. And P.S. We already did a spirit cleanse before we moved in so I hope it's just that it's taking a little while for Ghost Dad to pass.

Here are the options I've come up with for coping with my fear.

1. Continue watching Home & Health Channel all night as I have been doing because What Not to Wear and 10 Years Younger DOES make me feel safe and happy.
2. Stay up until Ro comes home at 3 am.

Actually that's all I got. I'm really spooked over here!!

Dear Air Conditiong: Please Come Back. I Miss You.

2011-01-30T10:38:00.001-02:00

It's hot. Like, really hot. My friends in the snowy north continuously remind/ask me if I would prefer -20 degrees and truthfully, I can't answer that question. But I know for sure I wouldn't prefer 40+...... and this is what we're dealing with here.

And now we've moved into a new apartment (yay!). So many great things about living on your own. But I've quickly discovered one bad thing. No air conditioning. C'mon, let's face it! We're straight broke and other things like food have taken priority over AC for now.... My only respite is the fact that I'm here alone in the apartment and yep. That means it's No Clothes-Ville for this suffering Canadian...

We have reached the point where any slight whisper of material touching my skin is enough to make me drop to the floor in a series of dramatic (and only slightly exaggerated) fits complete with loud complaining and pathetic whining, which is then followed by outright angry shouting:

"THAT'S IT! I'm going to buy TWO air conditionings tomorrow and I'm putting them on the credit card"
"Oh really? And how will you take them home with you on the bus?"
"I'll hire a driver and put HIM on the credit card!"
"You don't even have a credit card."
"AHHH I HATE YOU! IT'S SO FREAKING HOT!!!!"

True story. (And only slightly exaggerated...)

I can't even pretend to be a real Brazilian. My husband pointed out that he grew up without AC so for him, "it's not so bad." Well, Sir. You may sleep in the "not-so-bad" living room and enjoy your heat. I'll be in the bedroom with the air conditioning turned to "icicle".

So in case you were wondering, yes. It is allllll hanging out right now and while all of this naked freedom is liberating, it's really getting old fast. I would like some air conditioning please. It's like Tasha pointed out. I'm in a new home which really should be christened (I'm pretty sure it's a rule in the bible) and it's too hot for anything more than a toe-rub.
Actually, it's more common to hear "Don't touch me. Stop touching me... your leg hair is touching me!" than to hear any invitations of hanky panky. Did I just refer to sex as hanky panky? Ok, this heat is making me delirious.

Time for my second shower of the morning!

You know it's hot in Brazil when:

1. You get up after a 30 minute air conditioned bus ride with a huge, sweaty wet spot on the back of your dress. It definitely looks like your peed yourself.

2. The nasty, dirty AC dripping onto you from the offices above in Centro is suddenly cool and refreshing.

3. You stop caring about looking classy and sexy in front of your husband and instead opt for the 'let it all hang out' look. It really doesn't even matter at this point. It's not like you're getting any anyway because.........

4. Hot and sweaty sex actually sounds like your idea of hell.

5. You can barely walk outside and when you do, you can't even make it to your destination in one go. You need to sit down and take rests.

6. A slight, almost non-existent, breeze is the most AMAZING thing you have EVER FELT IN YOUR LIFE.

7. All of the Brazilians around you are complaining "Nossa! Que calor!" which makes you feel better about not being the only one who can't handle the heat. Literally and figuratively.

8. Showering twice a day used to seem completely neurotic and obsessive to you. Now you take two showers before noon.

9. You sweat. All. The. Time. In fact, you are never ever not sweating. You are sweating right now!

10. You actually think that -30 degree Canadian winter would be better than this heat. So really, you've gone crazy.

Stay cool out there peeps!!

Touché Facebook! Touché!

2011-01-22T16:55:00.001-02:00

Thanks to this site for this hilarious moment.

What to do if you have some free time in Rio...

2011-01-21T19:31:00.000-02:00

Go see the Sao Sebastiao Metropolian Cathedral in Cinelandia.... It's pretty cool and you know you always look at it but just never go in...

McDonalds - The cause of, and solution to, all of life's hangovers

2011-01-16T17:50:00.000-02:00

Last night I went out to Lapa with a good friend of mine for some drinking and dancing. I'm not a big club person but the promise of Beatles and 80s music was pretty endearing so we took a ONE HUNDRED REAIS cab ride aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall the way from Recreio to Lapa.

The farness factor cannot be emphasized any more than this.

Anyway, I digress. So we had a great ol' time dancing and drinking Malibu Rum(!!). The club was just as great as any club can be - so hot and sweaty that I have a hard time pulling my jeans back up after fazendo xixi and that my shirt feels like a wet dish rag. Fun! Why on Earth don't I go to clubs more often??

So great time, came home very late/early and pretty tipsy which ULTIMATELY equals eating McDonalds the next day.

I have no idea why I am cursed with this physical NEED to eat McDonalds the day after a night of drinking. It's like my stomach will not accept anything other than this crap that I truly don't even really enjoy eating. It's this argument with myself that I lose EVERY TIME! I know it won't taste as good as I think it tastes in my head. I know my stomach will feel like it's on fire later. I know that damn bread is going to be hard and crusty. And I KNOW they will not understand me when I ask for um quarterao (Jeeeeeez, they never understand me when I say quarterao! What else could I be asking for?? Put it together! I know I have an accent but does it sound like I am saying Bic Mac?)

But I start to convince myself! Mmm think about how good that burger tastes! This time the bread will be fresh! This time the fries will be hot! This time they'll know exactly what you're asking for and maybe even might ask "Damn, are you Brazilian?!?" Yeah, this time it will be different.

But obviously it's not. It's never different! That's the thing about McDonalds! That's their actual 'thing'. They are always the same.

So, like clockwork, I convinced myself that today would be different on my Hangover McDonalds Day and I went. Well my bread was hard, my coke was flat, and I only had one pickle on my quarterao. But joy of joys, they understood me perfectly. So Lindsey, one. McDonalds, zero. Thank you and I'll be seeing you on my next hangover.

New Year's (Non) Resolutions

2011-01-01T18:51:00.000-02:00

Never having been one for making 'resolutions' per say, I'm going to instead share some of the 'goals developed coincidently on January 1 but are not New Year's Resolutions' resolutions. Ha.

First of all, I would really like to get back into blogging funny stories and experiences that I have in Rio. Now that things aren't so new, some of the oddities that I experienced in the beginning are just normal now and don't have the ~~hilarity~~ charm they once had. So eyes open for the funny stuff.

Then, I really need to kick up the Portuguese. I'm thinking about private classes. I haven't tried them yet and have reached my level of fluency just by exposure (as most of us have)... so some fine tuning is in order. Really, I want to tone down my accent. I think I really overdo the 'sh' on the s .... I'm serious. It's out of control. "Goshtaria eshtar no Brashil agora" is 'de maish'. Haha, ps kidding I totally don't say brasil like. Ok, sometimes I do. ;)

Finally, It's time I start settling in and feeling at home in Rio. We are going into the new year with a new apartment!!! Hooray!!! It's going to be a completely different year. First, as Salty mentioned, was adapting. The next year will be about putting it all to work. I'm looking forward to seeing Brazil through different eyes this year.

Actually, one more. I think it's time I learned the stick. The stick shift that is. Although I'm genuinely terrified of driving on the roads of Rio (thumbs up), I hate having to be a slave to the bus all the time - especially when we have a car!! It's time to grow up and get on the stick. Let the sexual reference begin!

So Happy New Year to all! Does anyone have any special 'goals developed coincidently on January 1 but are not New Year's Resolutions' resolutions to share??

Here's a list of the 10 Ten New Year's Resolutions for this year:

The Top Ten Resolutions List

So, that's the Top Ten New Years Resolutions. Write them down and see how successful you are at keeping them. Happy New Year!

Thanks to everyone who reads my blog!! I appreciate you all.

Christmas Time in Canada

2010-12-30T03:56:00.000-02:00

Oh goodness guys... it's so good.

So, I'm finally catching up on blogging after literally being offline since I left Brazil on December 20. A lot of the blogs have really been capturing my feelings of Christmas in Brazil last year (my first one, popping the cherry)... the strange/guilty feeling of annoyance and anger and the heat and 'un-Christmassyness' of it all. Those feelings were creeping up again this year. My parents knew it. My friends knew it. My dear loving and patient husband knew it. So my parents did the most awesome thing and offered me a ticket home for the holidays.

How could I say no?

I was going crazy to know how it would feel to be back in Canada and to experience the notorious 'reverse-culture shock' for myself. But, to be honest, it hasn't been difficult at all for me to reassimilate. Everything is pretty much how I imagined it....

Sure, I've noticed some things that I'm missing from Brazil (ie. Bakeries, good manicures, an abundance of fresh fruit and veg, my HUSBAND) but I have confirmed that certain differences WEREN'T inflated in my head due to extreme saudades. Things like amazing customer service, friendly strangers saying hi, excuse me, thank you, letting each other cross the street or change lanes, orderly driving, big giant hugs hello, lots of ACTUAL multiculturalism/language EVERYWHERE...

But although I was going crazy missing these things and also going a little crazy being the 'different' one, I'm kinda missing that part now! I miss speaking Portuguese and I miss the feeling of achieving a comfortable quality of life. In Canada, it just exists. You don't really have to work for it. In Brazil, it's something to be proud of. Something you can measure in huge strides and see how far you've come. I miss eating healthier in Brazil. I actually miss the routine of "home".

I miss Ro. A lot.

God, will I ever feel satisfied in one place again??? Have we all now shot ourselves in the foot by living in two places at once - Home and Second Home? One place will always be missing something and offering something else.

As for now, I have one more week to enjoy Canada. That means a real snowy New Years in a hot tub with lots of flowing red wine, friends and more family time.....oh yeah baby.

P.S. In case you wondered if it feels somehow colder to me now after a year in Brazil, I can only say it feels amazing and I love winter. White snow, brown snow, yellow snow, bring it all on. But on second thought, a nice day at the beach with a cold beer and my husband wouldn't be so bad right about now.....

Happy Braziliversary to me!

2010-12-15T17:10:00.000-02:00

Today marks one whole year in Brazil!

You heard it here first, folks. I survived one year in Brazil. Let's celebrate by reflecting on my 'Brazil' goals from last year, before leaving the homeland.

"I've created a few personal goals in my head (which come just before my mental list of things I still need to buy from Mary Kay before I go - 3 bottles of After Sun the best product EVER!) One of my goals for this adventure is to become more accepting and less judgemental- especially if I don't agree on a certain point. Husband has made me very aware of this flaw - in a caring way of course - but I do realize that when I disagree I get pretty strongly opinionated about it. I also realize that this makes the person I'm talking to feel like THEY are stupid, not the idea... I may be aware of that... so I'mma try 'n work on it.

Goal #2 - Hey let's just go ahead and turn this into a list -
Learn how to speak Portuguese fluently enough that I can have easy conversations, I can understand what is being said in a group of people, and I am not constantly translating in my head.

Goal #3 - Learn how to live in another country (why not try... ohhh... Brazil!) Learn how to be more wary and cautious, open minded, careful, learn the city, learn who to avoid, etc. In Toronto I feel pretty comfortable to walk home by myself at 1 in the morning and not even be talked to or even to drop a 50 on the ground and have someone pick it up and give it back to me :D

Goal #4 - My favourite goal - give to directions to a tourist who needs to know how to get somewhere in the city! Achieving this goal will make my whole experience SOOOO awesome and will prove to me that I am a LOCAL! If nothing else happens, I hope I achieve this goal. Well, I suppose all goals will have to precede this one so... let's just go for 'em all!"

So, I gotta say, things are looking pretttttty good as far as the list goes. Well, maybe except the judgemental thing - I'm still pretty judgemental. What! Shut up, you guys are stupid. Whoooops... see? Sorry I'm working on it still. ;-)

(p.s. in case anyone out there lost their sense of humour... just kidding! ... you know I couldn't live without you, my Bloggy Friends!)

But moving along. Regarding #2, Yes! I can definitely say I have reached this level of Portuguese. It feels ABSOLUTELY AMAZING. When I got here, everything sounded like one giant, long, (angry) sentence. Anyone else feel that? That Portuguese sounds angry as hell when you don't understand what they're saying?!? Well, now I guess I can say it's 'passion'. Hahaha, or anger. I'm still really not sure.

#3, Funny. I was just thinking today. Things I have learned while living in Brazil: How to cross the street safely. When I first arrived, I would literally just walk into traffic because in Canada, they will stop. Every time. You can bet your life on it. I have! And I've won. In Brazil, you would lose. Badly. So, learning how to live in another country? Check. Also, can I get some props on the fact I haven't been robbed, or even in any danger of any kind? Any of you who bet I would be, you can pay up!

#4 Yeah baby! Actually, it's really strange but I think I have this face of a person who knows the entire bus transit schedule or something. Every time I am waiting for a bus someone, without fail, asks me if so-and-so bus passes here. If such-and-such a bus goes to the bridge in Barra. If I can give them a dollar. Yeaaaaaah, they always sneak that in there too and then I'm thrown off so I usually give it.

This concludes my Year In Review. Here's to the next year (and in my next blog I will have some more good news regarding our newly found apartment!) The next year will bring another new experience!!! Can't wait!

New Addition to our house

2010-12-10T18:33:00.001-02:00

And no, it's not a baby. It's another dog.

Yes, you heard right.

In our already too-small 3 bedroom apartment where we already have 5 adults, 1 cat (still kitten) and 1 dog, someone thought it would be a good idea to get another puppy.

Things are feeling a little full.

I am trying to hold on as best as I can. Why would they get a new dog, you may ask? The same way one might get a new shirt? Because you were in the mood to buy it? Or because we had a little space over in that corner? I'm still trying to figure this one out myself.

I have never owned dogs. I have never really even liked dogs. Then I met my husband (a giant dog-lover) and moved to Brazil (the biggest dog-loving country I have ever seen. Seriously biased towards dogs - everyone 'hates' cats, meanwhile I'm sure they've never owned or probably even seen a house-cat).
I've been a little forced into dogs here seeing as they already had a dog (who is sweet, but so old it's like she's not even here) and seeing as though everywhere you go people are walking dogs, fawning over dogs, or getting dog tattoos.

Now we have this new damn puppy who, I swear to god, is cute but holy idiot. The dog is terrorizing my cat and in turn it's stressing ME out because I can see that Nina is not happy. He finds ways into my room and eats Nina's food, and now barks at Nina and runs at her while Nina fearfully hisses and runs away. Haha, she thinks she's so tough. Ahhh so much work are puppies. And this one's not even mine! And he just doesn't take NO for an answer. NO stop eating Nina's food, NO stop peeing on the carpet and NO stop biting me everywhere!!!

It would have been considerate for someone to ask us if we would be ok with having another dog in the house. I mean, other people do live here.

We are going to look at an apartment on Sunday because I just don't see this working :-S ...

Things I would miss about Brazil

2010-12-05T17:28:00.000-02:00

Well, I'm coming up on my one year anniversary in less than 2 weeks and, coincidently (or not), I'm also heading home for the holidays for the first time since we arrived. All of this has got me really thinking about the things I'm now going to miss leaving Brazil in search for the things I was missing about Canada for the first, oh say, 11 months of being in Brazil. (This last month those feelings have been dying out a little bit but that may have to do with the fact that I will soon be at home, eating me some curry and Thai food.)

So, some of the things I will and would miss about Brazil (it took me a little while to get to this place of appreciating things here enough to miss them):

1. Bakeries and fresh bread every single day. Well, let's just stick to bakeries, plain and simple. I love the bakery around the corner. I can go have a nice little breakfast of suco da laranga and misto quente any time I want. If I have a craving for a Twix, my little corner bakery has the fix! (Rhyme not intentional but staying!) If I want to have a beer, the bakery is near! (Now I'm having fun). You can even do a little mini shopping at my little mini bakery. Actually it's a giant bakery.

2. Drinking chopp. Chopp is draught beer and it isn't draught beer at the same time. It's its own special Brazilian version of draught beer. So super cold and small enough that it stays that way until the end. I don't think I can go back to pints.

2b. Chopp anywhere, anytime. Yep. No joke. Favourites would be quiosques (kiosks) by the beach, the little hole-in-the-wall bars in zona sul, or, as mentioned above, the bakery!

3. Body comfortability. Ok, this one's a bit of a contradiction. Cariocas (The Brazilians from Rio for anyone who didn't know that yet...) are ridiculous about their bodies. I'm serious. These people are working out in the gym for inhuman lengths of time and at least 8 times per week.

On the flip side, if you go to the beach, you gots your crazies but you ALSO have your OTHER crazies. The crazies who are totally comfortable with their bodies, albeit some may say they 'shouldn't be wearing something so small'. Y'know what? It's given me a HEALTHY view of body acceptance and I LOVE Rio for that. I see that everyone just lets it all hang out (for some that means more than others) and it's so refreshing to see that people are comfortable with themselves, regardless of media-invented images of beauty.

Ladies and Gentlemen, how many of you out there have TRULY accepted your body the way it is? How many can say they TRULY love themselves and their bodies?? Not even me, but I'm really working on it and Rio is helping.

4. Ice cream!! Some of the best ice cream is here! Sooo good on a hot-ass day. I've actually never eaten so much ice cream in my entire life put together as I have in my first year in Brazil.

5. Speaking Portuguese. Ironic? I will really miss speaking Portuguese. Jesus, I worked so hard to get my Portuguese down, I don't want to lose it! Learning a language is hard folks! If you already learned it once, don't screw yourself over by forcing yourself to learn it again. So grateful for my Brazilian other half! I's lucky.

6. The Beach. Did I actually say that? Ok, so it's no secret that I'm not a giant fan of going to sit in the sand for hours on end, but I do like running and biking by the beach, drinking coconut water at the beach, and sitting in a quiosque on a Saturday afternoon listening to the families come out to drink and shoot the shit. Also, I love to watch these guys working on their tan.

7. People Selling Shit Everywhere. Although I don't really buy stuff from the vendors very often, I'm not opposed and it's nice to know that if I needed something, it's right there. I love the guys who jump on their bus selling "jujubes um real, amendoim um real, chiclete 3 por um real, paçoca um real" and I love how the bus drivers let them on for free until they get to their stop. Nice camaraderie! It's nice to see that there are jobs for many people, even if they aren't the most ideal or appealing.

So, Brazil, at the end of one year, there are things I can truly say I am enjoying about you. I've met some great people here, I've discovered my career, I've learnt a new language and I've spent a lot of time with myself reflecting (and now I know I need to see a psychologist regularly 'just to talk')... but all good! Looking forward to the next year! But first.... home time!!!

Where To Go To the Bathroom in Rio de Janeiro

2010-11-26T11:54:00.001-02:00

So, my line of work is full of movement. Yes, I'm a teacher. But I'm essentially a private teacher. This means that I am all over the city travelling to my students place of business or home.

When doing this you have to be smart about how to schedule your classes. There's nothing worse than having to go to Flamengo for noon, then boot it all the way to Ipanema for 1:30 and back up to Centro for a 3 pm class. No sir, that is asking for stress, and stress I want none of.

So I group my classes and plan them so that I'm in Ipanema during this time, Flamengo this time, Centro this time. You want a class? You gotta make it work in these times. And usually they do! This is also the power of the native teacher in a foreign country... :)

Now, hot Rio weather = me drinking tons of water (or at least trying to). And you all learned a long time ago what happens when you drink a lot of water. That's right. Every hour.

Usually I can use the bathrooms in the offices I work at, but sometimes (and at some student's houses) it's not exactly appropriate or offered to me so I need to go in search of a bathroom on the street. This can be a little tricky because public bathrooms here aren't exactly in optimal conditions. Ie. piss all over the seat and floor, no toilet paper, no soap... I even once saw that someone had missed (???) the toilet entirely and crapped on the floor instead. Clearly, they didn't see this sign:

I can totally imagine that situation. The person is having one of those SERIOUSLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY situations. They made it into the stall and facing the toilet started desperately jumping around, fumbling to unbutton and unzip their pants (and you know you can NEVER get it done smoothly - Smooth is Fast People!)
But the emergency would have been SO severe and SO uncontrollable that the poop just fell out of their butt before they had time to turn around and sit. Then, they decided 'well, they have someone here that will clean up my poop so I'll just leave it for the poor foreign teacher to look at while she hovers about the toilet precariously, trying to avoid the other voided material surrounding her.'

GAAAAAASSSSSSSSPPPPPPP!

This is why I have developed a guide to help you and your loved ones on their quests -nay, RIGHTS- for a decent bathroom.

1. Ipanema (General Osorio)
A little difficult to find a place here unless you go to a restaurant. The place I use the most is the bathroom in the McDonalds at Visconde da Piraja and Vinicius de Moraes. About 5 mins walk from the metro but there are several restaurants that would let you use the bathroom if you just smile sweetly enough and bat your eyes a little. Also, asking if you can use the bathroom rapidinho seems to help.
There is actually a bathroom right in the metro station too (located at the cashiers counter and before you pay) but it's not very nice. It's just convenient.

2. Copacabana (Cardeal Arcoverde)
I believe the street is actually Cardeal Arcoverde but either way, it's the main street out of the subway that goes towards the beach and has a Bob's on the corner. The Bob's bathroom is always out of service but if you walk about a block from Bob's, there is a little botequo that says "Bathroom: R$2". Again, if you smile sweetly and say "rapidinho" they won't charge you the R$2 and it's clean enough.

3. Flamengo (Largo do Machado)
The best bathroom here is in the Oi Futuro building, located on 2 de dezembro. It's on the right-hand side, halfway down and it's a free cultural art centre. You go in (don't mind the guards, they always look at you accusingly but you don't have to pay) and take the elevator to very top floor (8th) where there is a little cafe with a very nice bathroom. They also have free wi-fi and some F'd up exhibitions on regularly so, while you're at it, stay a while to take in the craziness inside Oi Futuro.

4. Centro (Carioca)
I have yet to find a free bathroom here but I did find a decent pay-bathroom in this little downstairs mall that is in the same complex as the Bob's Restaurant, located directly outside of the Carioca metro station. You go down the escalators and pay R$1.50 to use the bathroom. Just remember, you have to pick up your toilet paper on the way into the stall. Definitely forgot that about 17 times already.

5. Centro (Uruguaiana)
Lots of Fast Food restaurants like Bobs, McD's...

6. Centro (Cinelandia)
The worst options for bathrooms are in Cinelandia. Yes, you can use the Bob's on Presidente Wilson but it's actually disgusting. The only option I would really suggest is to sneak into the Vale building on Santa Luzia because they have a bathroom on the main level so you don't have to check in with the front desk. Just make sure you're not wearing shorts or Havaianas because the dress code inside is strict and you don't wanna mess with them. The bathroom is so worth it though ;)

In Barra da Tijuca it's much easier to find places to go to the bathroom because there are lots of malls that have bathrooms. Barra Shopping has bathrooms apparently made for Queens so whenever possible, go there.

Reminders when using all public bathrooms:
-squat, don't sit
-throw paper in the garbage (even though it goes against every moral fibre of your being)
-wash your hands and try to open the lock and door with a paper towel (I've seen some nastiness out there)
-have fun! It's a free-for-all in there so go nuts

I am alive!

2010-11-22T21:40:00.002-02:00

Still exist! Just incredibly busy working. It's what I need to do to match Ro's ridiculous amount of time spent working so that I don't disappear into a lonely oblivion.

Class update - I'm now up to 21 students both private and through my school. It's pretty much right down the middle and while private teaching is more profitable, I really love the relationship I have with the school. I was working at another school too but it was ridiculous and unprofessional so I quit last week. Thank God I have the strength to get out of bad situations. God, what a nightmare.

Anyway, loving teaching and loving my students, btw! Seriously, I am sooo lucky to have some freaking fantastic students.

So my friend Laura came last week. We stayed in a hostel in Ipanema and met an awesome Brazilian girl who stayed with us in the hostel. She speaks English too so it was a lot of fun speaking in both languages and also teaching her some very useful words! We reviewed 'puke', 'hangover' vs ' hungover', 'break the seal' and many others related to very real situations we experienced, including the former.

Laura was so impressive with her bravery to try speaking Portuguese (even though she was literally learning on the spot). She got down 'chopp', 'banheiro', 'obrigada' and 'desculpa'. Any guesses as to what we did for 6 days straight???

That's right. Drank and peed.

Last Saturday we all went to Lapa and met up with Blog Molly and her fiance (Molly, from here on in you are known as BlogMolly) as well as another girl and her bf from my Good School and another friend and his bf from the Bad School. Ro came too and gave us all a reeeeal entertaining night (considering he doesn't drink very often and he drank 4 'street' caipirinha's ie. Do you want some ice and lime with your giant cup of cachaça?")

Then I proceeded to sneak him in ~~like a bull in a China Shop~~ quiet as a mouse to our Girl's Only Room in the hostel, nurtured him through a particularly traumatizing bout of vomiting, got one hour of sleep and then got back up to go to work. Crazy.

Let me just say that I do not party like this. I know I've made some jokes about drinking in the past but they really were slight exaggerations. I was not prepared for this night.

Anyway. Those are the basics. Tomorrow it's back to work. I am counting the days until I go home for Christmas. Today officially marks one more month. Can't wait. I haven't been home once in an entire year.

Laura is coming!!!

2010-11-11T02:36:00.000-02:00

The official "Laura is coming" blog is here! My good friend Laura is coming from Canada today! Actually she should be here in 10 hoursssss!!!

I'm not a great tour guide because I haven't really planned anything but I'm sure we'll just take it as it comes and have a great time regardless.

Anyone have any suggestions as to what we should do for sure? (Aside from the usual touristy stuff?)

Yeah Laura!

Did you think we would waste all of that pumpkin?

2010-11-02T19:11:00.000-02:00

Well you're dead wrong. We've got pumpkin for days here, people.

What do you do when you have 30 pounds of pumpkin to use up??

You make Doce de Abobora...

And you make Pumpkin Spice Muffins...

Soon to come - Thai Pumpkin Soup (that is, if I can find lemon grass)

I LOVE Fall time and all the pumpkin-y goodness! Now all I'm missing is my Pumpkin Spice Latte from Starbucks..... MMM!

Hallowe'en in Brazil

2010-11-01T18:15:00.000-02:00

When you move to another country that doesn't celebrate the same traditions as you, you start to really understand which holidays are near and dear to your heart. You all saw the Thanksgiving dinner Ro and I put together. This is one holiday very special to me. It's more sappy nostalgia than anything, but the idea of family getting together, giving thanks for good fortune, and sharing together is a very important tradition to me.

There's one more holiday that really touches me. Really makes me feel all warm inside. It's a holiday that I don't think I could leave behind very easily.

And that holiday. Is...
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HALLOWE'EN!!

Helllllls yeah!!! Hallowe'en is The Shit. I freakin' love it. You're damn right I wanna carve a pumpkin and dress up like an 80's aerobics instructor whilst eating Hallowe'en size serving after serving of delicious chocolate covered whatever!
You're damn right I do.

So, I forced my family into celebrating another of my favourite traditions last night. Alright, who really needs to be forced into cleaning out the guts of a pumpkin with your bare hands and carving a finely detailed face into its thick-ass rind with a steak knife, then being forced into watching a horror movie while making yourself sick on chocolate.

Yeah, you see why I love it? It's amazing.

We fully went out and spent R$60 on the two biggest pumpkins we could find. We did pretty well I thought! The outside of the pumpkins here are more white than at home but the inside is juuuust as orangy and perfect.

Then we spent R$130 MORE on chocolate, alcohol and movies. Ahahaha aha.

It was the perfect Hallowe'en. (Sans fake spider webs but I'll live).

It would have been WAY more hilarious if we had all dressed up but I think even that would be going too far. We're taking baby steps here in Brazil.

Anyway! Check out our work. I think you'll be proud.

Corrida Pela Cura

2010-10-31T14:20:00.002-02:00

Last Sunday Ro and I woke up eeeearly to do the Race for the Cure 6KM run in Leblon. It was our first race in a year and a half and my first race here in Brazil. Is it just me or is the air different here? I have a hard time running here because I get out of breath quickly.

Forget all of the advice that "the first 15 minutes are the hardest! - After that your legs just go!" For me the first 15 are the easiest. After that it's like slow torturous death.

At least I'm dying healthy!

But seriously, after I passed the 3K mark I was thanking whatever god is out there that I wasn't running a 10K. Nope. That would have been a giant mistake and definitely would have resulted in me passing out in a ditch while other runners jump over me and/or throw their water cups on me.

What's with the way people HURL their water cups during the run? I mean, first there are garbage cans. Second, there is the side of the road. Is it really necessary to guzzle your water like a horse, leave it dripping down your chin and shirt and then whip it behind you right into my face?? There are like 10 000 people running behind you, didn't you realize??

Ohh I'm just as guilty. There's something about gnawing open a little plastic cup of water with your teeth, pouring the whole cup on your head (shaking your head and hair side to side in slow motion for effect), whipping that crappy little cup to the side and continuing on your run unphased, that makes you feel SO COOL.

So, unfortunately I had to stop 3 times during this run to walk. I only have to walk for 30 seconds or so before the feeling of vomiting passes and then I'm back in the game. Then, oops I'm gonna puke. Walk. Then back in the game.

I went into this run with a goal of completion of under 40 minutes. I finished in 38. Not my best run but I reached my goal. Ro finished in an amazing 33 minutes.

Until next time - I'd better start practicing if I ever want to be like those African runners, with their gazelle legs and beautiful stride! Damn their beautiful stride!

Livin' it up in Centro

2010-10-23T00:43:00.002-02:00

I have a love/hate relationship with Centro.

Ok, so let's get the negative out of the way first.

First, it's busy as SHIT. And not in a 'wow, this city is lively! There's so much action going on!" way. It's more of a 'move your ass and walk faster or get out of the way!!!' kind of way. Add to the mix of sloooooooow-walking Cariocas the millions of vendedores selling crap that you would have never thought of buying in your life. Rabbit ear TV antenna circa 1950? A bootleg copy of Windows 95? A squishy strawberry toy thing you can splat on the ground and watch it magically return to it's original shape? A book light headband? Ok, the book light headband I'll take but you can leave the other crap thankyouverymuch.

Then you have your 'flyer' guys. These guys (and girls) are the worst. They stand in the middle of the sidewalk giving out tiny pieces of what I can only describe as scrap paper. I use the term 'giving out' lightly. It's not really your option to take a scrap of paper - they are literally shoved down your throat and into your hands. Sometimes 3, 4, 5 people right in a row.

Now combine the millions of slow-walkers, the seller guys (and don't forget the ones selling popcorn, cashews, candied peanuts and coconut, chocolate, gum, agua/coka/skol um real um real etc) the paper pushers, wrap it all up on really small sidewalks with maniac traffic by your side (let's be fair - also throw in that I'm late, as always, and lost) and you have yourself a goddamn mess!

P.S. This is a very special illustration of the area I love to hate aka. Uruguiana.

Now. What I love.

Cinelandia and Carioca (the areas as defined by their metro stations). Here you have the magnificence of old Rio. Cobblestoned streets line the busy roads from a ~~safe~~ far distance and you have fantastic views of Teatro Municipal (which every day looks more and more spectacular to me).

Beside the theatre is some ridiculously awesome looking government building (I'm sorry I really don't know what the building is - Camera dos vereadores is what is being whispered in my ear). Across the street sits the Biblioteca Nacional, and you can find my feelings of this building here.

Today, while walking from Carioca station, I just happened upon this little outdoor theatre show that seemed to be centred around some Brazilian religious archetypes. Later I learned it was the story of some important characters of Brazilian history. I saw the story of Anastacia, a slave who suffered so many rapings and beatings they referred to her as A Santa (the saint).

The show was hardcore. There were bare breasts and all. The real deal. It was very interesting and had a pretty huge crowd of people along with a helpful ~~drunk guy~~ homeless man who continuously blew a whistle (I guessed to add to the musicality of the show).

After the show I found this little feira in the same park so y'know, I had to buy some R$2 earrings.

Then, walking back to Cinelandia I hear the Brazilian National Anthem blasting in the street. It's a pretty majestic anthem and I must say, I do like it.

Anyway, I could see this homelesss guy up ahead (side note: the down and out are what add to the charm of Centro). So this guy is really homeless and it seems like it's been a while since he ate or took a shower. And he's, like, belting out the national anthem, pumping his hands to his chest in pride and all. I thought, 'man, this guy is so clearly in a tough spot and could easily blame his country for his problems or for not helping him more but instead, here he is, proud as hell to be Brazilian and letting everybody know it.'

I smiled at him and gave him two thumbs up.

Today was sunny and warm and a very entertaining day in o centro da cidade.

Thanksgiving Dinner - part two

2010-10-17T16:03:00.001-02:00

Well, we accomplished the biggest cooking task of our lives thus far.

Two days of cooking + two appetizers + five main courses + two desserts + one giant bottle of vodka + 40 cans of beer + 6 bottles of wine + one new dress = a freakin' awesome party!

I had a GREAT Thanksgiving. It was just like home. My Brazilian family all together, eating, drinking and being merry.

What was really touching was how 'into it' they all were. It can be difficult for some people to be genuinely interested in trying something new, especially when it's someone else's cultural tradition.

But my fam was so awesome - They were really into the tradition of saying something that you're thankful for. We had the usual "I'm grateful that everyone could be here together, I'm grateful for all of the food we have, I'm grateful for the cook (hehe) etc." but Ro's cousin really made me all mushy inside when she said "I'm grateful for new cultural experiences" (or something to that extent).
They complimented us endlessly on the food (I'm now allowed to get married as goes the favourite Brazilian saying "agora você pode casar!"). Then Ro's uncle gave me the biggest compliment, following tradition perfectly. He fell asleep. Love it! Here are the pics....

All tuckered out....

Great night with great people!!

Thanksgiving Dinner - part one

2010-10-15T19:32:00.002-03:00

Thanksgiving Dinner - Phase One Complete! Thank God for no fires.

Ro and I began the first phase of our "made-from-scratch" Thanksgiving Dinner this morning. As you know (if you read my blog), Canadian Thanksgiving was last weekend. Ro, unfortunately, was involved with the opening of the new Outback Steakhouse so we couldn't have dinner the day of. But that's ok because his family doesn't know the difference anyway.

So! This is my VERY FIRST TIME making Thanksgiving Dinner. Actually, it's probably my first time making everything on my menu (which I realize is usually a big no-no but, as I mentioned earlier, they won't even know the difference hehehe)

On the menu is:

Appetizers

Raw veggies and dip

Devilled Eggs

Cheese Ball (I hope)

Main Course

Chester (who found turkey at this time of year?? I can't...)

Stuffing

Gravy

Squash/Pumpkin

Garlicky Green Beans and Mushrooms

Mashed Potatoes

(I feel like I need coleslaw...)

Dessert

'North American' Apple Pie

Cheesecake

Today we got the desserts done and the veggies prepped and that all took like 6 hours.
Tomorrow it's up early to make stuffing, squash, potatoes, steam the beans, make the cheese ball, finish the devilled eggs, cook the CHESTER.

Jesus. I'm having anxiety. I think I need to get back out there and keep cooking.

So tired... but must... keep... cooking....

More to come!

Happy Canadian Thanksgiving!

2010-10-12T00:56:00.000-03:00

Wishing I was with family this weekend but I hope everyone at home had a great Thanksgiving!!!

Next weekend I'mma try and make a Thanksgiving dinner for my crew here. Will update with more info soon.....

Dating Yourself

2010-10-09T18:27:00.001-03:00

Happy post! Well, lately, you are well aware, I have been feeling a little down. It happens. So I took myself on a date last night.

Now, many of my Brazilian crew think this is a little strange. But I honestly like the idea of dating myself. The only person you can depend on is yourself, right? (ps I don't fully agree with that cliche but it's not entirely untrue either). Can't sit around waiting for the mountain to come to Mohamed... What's up with me and these crazy idioms today?

So, with Ro and my SIL working and my other friend wanting a night in, I got myself dressed up and went out for dinner and a movie. I really went for it. I even put on a skirt, people and I don't do skirts.

So I get to Downtown Shopping and as I'm getting out of the van, my skirt gets caught on the seat as I am still making my way out of the van. This results in my skirt being opened up and my underwear being exposed to everyone! At least I didn't have to feel embarrassed in front of a date. (just the other strangers who all saw but, yeah... no date)

I decided to eat at Barril 8000 because they have live music. Enjoyed some beer with aipim and queijo coalho. Not the most romantic dinner but who am I trying to impress, right? :)

Then I went to see the most girliest, emotional, "finding herself" movie available - Eat, Pray, Love. Yeah! On date night with myself, I get to choose the movie! I also have a lot of seat options when I'm alone. I can pretty much sit wherever I want, even in a full theatre. I can also cry openly and laugh openly if I want to (I don't like to look like a baby who cries in movies in front of Ro - What!?)

After my lovely evening of dinner and a movie, I got myself an ice cream cone to finish off the night. It was a pretty happy night! The biggest challenge, for me and anyone, is being able to sit with yourself and not DO anything. That or try to pretend that you are not really alone. I'm talking: ~~pretending you are texting someone~~ playing with your phone, acting like you are waiting for someone to come and meet you, taking an imaginary phone call... etc etc.

So, for any of you ladies or gentlemen out there who feel like you have a bit too much social alone time on your hands, here is a list of helpful suggestions as to how you can date yourself!

Take yourself out for dinner and a movie (and make sure you get drunk)
Gently caress you hand or your thigh at the movies
Surprise yourself with unexpected gifts like a bottle of great champagne/wine
Buy yourself a sexy new outfit
When you catch your reflection in a store window, flirt with yo' bad self
Buy yourself your favourite flowers
Take yourself to a spa (well, that's a little tricky in Brazil because spas aren't all the rage)
Turn the music up and the lights down and put on some candles
Sleep in your slinkiest nightgown or nothing at all

Whether you're single or in a relationship, any of these activities done alone results in good stuff later. Finally, don't be embarrassed to date yourself! People definitely give you Looks but they're probably thinking "Is she here all by herself? That's so brave!"
It's really not that big of a deal once you've done it a few times. Anyone out there have dating myself stories?

How does ANY expat do it?

2010-10-02T20:16:00.001-03:00

How do you guys do it? How do you expats deal with living here? I am going crazy. I am missing home so badly right now I was looking at the cost of flights. Sadly, they are just as I suspected. Hundreds of dollars (and thousands of reais) that I just don't have.

I was wondering on my recent walk to the grocery store to pick up the second bottle of wine of the weekend if my threshold is just lower than everyone elses. Is my ability to accept and deal with difficult situations (ie. communication difficulties, loneliness) just weaker than the average person? Some of you have settled down here permanently and I couldn't imagine in my wildest dreams living her forever. I just couldn't. I love Canada SO much. I think it is the best county on the planet. Yes, I am biased and Yes, I am drinking right now.

I am just so goddamn proud to be Canadian and of everything my country stands for. Nobody hates Canada! That's pretty impressive.

I'm not battling a superiority complex here but you know how living in a country where things seem to be completely LAWLESS makes you appreciate the orderliness of your own country. Ok, enough of my high horse. That wasn't meant to be offensive. I'm just missing home so much.

Let me just examine some positives for a second though. This journey has been a giant test and learning lesson in 3 specific areas for me.

1. Adaptability
2. Patience
3. Being alone

I have adapted and adjusted non-stop since I arrived here. We are still living with my in-laws. It has been 9 months and 17 days. 9 months and 17 days without my own kitchen. 9 months and 17 days of tiptoeing around the house (my family is very quiet). 9 months and 17 days of love-making like teenagers who will get in trouble if their parents find out what they're doing in the bedroom. 9 months and 17 days of being trapped in my room to watch what I want on TV, to have alone time, to get dressed AND put on makeup AND dry my hair etc etc etc.

Because of this adapting, has come a test of my patience. A realization and understanding that I am not a patient person but I think I have been pretty goddamn patient for a long time. I'm pretty patient with my living sitatuation. I'm pretty patient that Ro works ALL. THE. TIME. I know I complain about it still. Patience doesn't exist only in silence. But I have accepted and try to make the best of a situation that truly makes me unhappy. I have tried to regain my composure and focus over and over because I know it takes time to learn to speak, to make friends, to have a job, to feel settled down. The proof is in the pudding. The first 3 eventually started to come. The last, I am still trying to be patient.

And then we have being on my own. This has been the biggest challenge for me lately. Ro has been working so much (like yesterday he worked from 8:30 am- 10 pm and he generally has only one day off per week which is always a Monday or a Tuesday, which of course are busy for me with classes). I have always been a person who likes to spend time alone. But I also like to have friends. And even though yes, I've made a few friendships with people (like, you can count them on one hand but it's the hand of a guy who has lost 2 fingers), none of them really developed into something close and deep like I have with my best friends from home.
With the exception of maybe one girl (Bia), I remain friendless. I have had to try my best to fill my free time with activities for one. Exercising. Sitting on the beach drinking a coconut water. Going to the movies. Drinking wine. Eating in a restaurant. Going to a bar. All fun activities! Much better with a friend.

So, I'm at a loss. I feel unhappy and unsettled here, like I'm still a guest. And I don't even know if JUST moving out on our own would even solve the problem. I told Ro last night that I miss our old life. Things were so good when we left. We had a great apartment in a great location and we had great friends who were all in close proximity. The one REALLY positive thing in my Brazilian life is teaching English. I love it so much and I don't miss working at GoodLife Fitness at all.

Maybe Rio is just not the city for me. I'm not a beach girl. I'm an arts and entertainment girl. I don't want to lose myself here but I feel like I'm slipping away...

Rio International Film Festival

2010-10-01T11:38:00.000-03:00

That's right - the RIFF is making headway in Rio between Sept 23 and Oct 7 with films playing all over the city, including Barra da Tijuca, much to my delight! This year's focus country is Argentina because they are celebrating their bicentennial.

You can access the site here and there is also an English link on there.
http://www.festivaldorio.com.br/site2010

The Film Festival doesn't seem to be a huge city-wide event here, like it is in Toronto. In Toronto, celebrities are in town, there are huge gala openings, and many people in the city attend at least one film or buy blocks of tickets. Fun!!!

Here, I'm seeing a lot of signage but I'm not sure if people are really into it or not. When I asked my MIL and SIL about it they didn't even know what it was, so....

I, for one, WILL be attending but first I have to wade through all of the films. There are about 300 to choose from! I would recommend picking by theatre ONLY because you'll probably drown in the sea and end up getting turned off.

Support the arts! Go to the Film Festival!

Aaaaand I'm back

2010-09-26T13:17:00.001-03:00

Well, blank page. We meet again.

After a 3 week hiatus from writing (or reading) any blogs, I'm going to actively try to get a new one out there. It's not going to be easy - actually lately the pressure to write has felt so high that it turned me off of blogging altogether. I'm just saying. Sometimes I need to take a moment and remember WHO I'm writing this for.

Me.

Now, I know it's naive - well, actually it's just plain stupid - to think that I'm writing this for myself knowing full well that people read it. But the more lost I get in writing for other people, the more pressure I feel to keep turning out clever, funny, interesting blogs and then this turns into a job. And I got a job.

Anyway, the whole point of starting a blog was to document my feelings and experiences in Brazil. There. I'm bringing it home.

To be honest, I am officially calling the last 3 weeks "The Three Weeks that I Hated Brazil and Wanted to Yell Right In People's Faces (In English) and Just Go Home Already" Period. Yeah, that about sums up my feelings of the last 3 weeks.
Actually it's been quite a while since I've felt any real rage towards Brazil. The beginning had a lot, a lot of frustration and not understanding things, culturally and language-wise. Then there would be occasional bouts of rage that generally lasted a day or a weekend. They usually fizzled out after some quality time talking to someone from home or with my Honey. But the last 3 weeks have been one big giant rage.
I hate meeting new Brazilians during these periods because, like clockwork, they will undoubtedly ask me if I'm gostando de Brasil? And my answer at that moment is, not really. And then they are sad. Hey, you asked.

Ok, I almost started to type out exactly what it is that I'm not liking but I am actively trying to get past these rage-y feelings and I felt them start to bubble up inside me as soon as I started to type. So, I'm not going to share specifics but it's nothing that any of my fellow ex-pats haven't experienced at one point or another. It's not a secret why I've been feeling frustration and loneliness. In fact, I'm sure that it's pretty crystal clear.

ANYWAY. Moving on.

There are certain things I've been doing to relax myself and cope with my emotions. Here's my list of things I try to do when I'm feeling crappy.

1. Get a weekly manicure/pedicure. Find a place that you like. Don't settle for a crappy place just because your Family says it's cheaper. If your manicure is awesome and costs R$10 more, who f'ing cares. And do it because YOU want to feel pretty and pampered, not because everyone else does it. (Even though they do)

2. Work out. Even though it might kill you when you are down in the dumps and you might complain the entire time, you'll feel better later. I can't say I've been doing really well at point #2 lately so if you're not feeling it, go directly to point #3.

3. Eat. Nothing some good chocolate can't cure. Or chips. Or baking cookies/brownies. Or pizza.

4. Drink. Alcohol, that is. Yeah yeah, so they say it's a depressant. Shut up. I'm depressed and I want to get drunk.

5. Get out of the house and buy something. Go on. You know you'll feel better if you have some new candles for the bedroom, or that shirt/belt/television you can't afford. Whatever thing you like to buy that always makes you feel better for the rest of the day, go and buy it.

6. Sleep. So you want to sleep until 4 or 5 pm? I say, fine by me. I realize that this option isn't available to everyone but if it's an option for you, go ahead and indulge.

7. Download all of the seasons of *insert favourite show here* and watch them all. In one day. I am currently on Season 6 of Sex and the City. Past favourites include How I Met Your Mother, The Office, Glee, Breaking Bad and Friends.

So while the items on my list of helpful coping mechanisms don't actually make you productive, healthy or get you out of your slump, they do just what they intend to do. Help you cope.
Sometimes being social (especially because you have to speak Portuguese) is even worse. Sometimes it's good. Depends on how good your Portuguese is (or their English).

But as well as I know myself, I know that this slumpy period will pass. It's just taking a little longer this time. For now, I'm going to implement a little #2 followed by a #7 which may be later followed by a little #3 and #4. We'll see how I feel.

Things always get better!

2010-09-07T21:27:00.001-03:00

I have spoken A LOT of Portuguese this weekend. I'm drunk right now so I can't really go into a lot of detail, but not for lack of trying!!!

Sunday night - GOD this 'weekend' (Sunday - Tuesday) feels like a weekend for me. All of my Monday students cancelled because of Brazilian Independence Day today. All of my Tuesday students as well! But why doesn't anyone do anything for Independence Day here?!?!?!?! Fireworks? Barbeques? Parties?? No???

Então, I spend the afternoon grocery shopping with minha sogra and partying with minha cunhada. GOOD TIMES! I'm glad I convinced my MIL to go shopping because I'm pretty sure that if I hadn't helped her, she wouldn't have gone. Food in house, check one.

My SIL invited me to a barbeque (not for Independence Day - just a coincidence) of a friend who I know so I went and ended up knowing a couple of others there (hey, what's this now? I know people in the neighbourhood??). It was a good ol' caipirinha time there.

On Sunday night I went ALONE to a churrasco at my husband's Aunt's house. Alone without my husband but with my family. Afterwards the cousins went to Casa Rosa in Larangeiras. That place was really fun. And really fun going with some peope who I can actually consider my FAMILY. I've never gone out with my cousins before so I feel priviledged that my 'new' family lives close and I can spend some time with them.

I really wish I could be more specific right now but I'm more or less just reporting on what's new. I really like reading Fiona's blog because she has articulated so much nicer the things that I felt (and still feel) about adjusting to life here.

All I can say, people, is that it gets better if you want it to. You just have to find the things you like (it's not always easy - it takes effort, sometimes a lot of effort and sometimes too much effort) and, like Rachel said, you can't be picky about your friends. You may just find yourself spending time with people, though, who you never expected to be friends with. It's kind of a fantastic thing, this living abroad.

Sometimes I feel like I can't stand it anymore and sometimes I feel like I could live here forever.

No Brazilian Wives Here!

2010-09-01T22:23:00.000-03:00

So ever since University (where I took many a Women's Studies course) I've had a little issue with male/female traditional roles. Combine with it my aggressive and non-defeatest attitude and you have what some may call a feminist.
At this point, I feel like some of these old ideas of male and female differences are ancient and stupid. Like, who thinks that it's the men who should work and the women who should clean and cook anymore?

Oh, everyone in Brazil y'say? Oh.

Well, maybe not everyone. And maybe not so 1930's like. But definitely 1950's. Brazilian ideals of male and female roles has stopped in about 1950.
For example, my inherited family's matriarch (my MIL) said to me today with searing pride in her eyes "Viu?? Viu o Rodrigo passou as ropas ontem??" (My husband did some of the ironing the other day because I asked him if he could help me with it).

What kind of threw me off about her ecstatic joy that her oldest son had done some of his own ironing (see this post re how people view the oldest son in Brazil) was that a) I asked him do it. So thanks for helping when I ask. And b) has she ever once shown the same ecstatic joy when *I* do ALL of the ironing, folding and putting away??? When I cook a whole meal by myself??? When I do 4 loads of laundry in one day??? When I clean and wash the bedroom, bathroom and her room?? Does she go running to Ro saying "Viu??? Viu o que a Lindsey fez hoje???"

No. No she does not. Because that is expected of me. Nevermind the fact that I am working a full time job as well. Nevermind the fact that just because I'm home doesn't mean I'm doing nothing. I'm planning for my classes. I'm working too.

But being a woman in Brazil means that you are responsible for feeding and cleaning up after your entire family while they work and relax.

Let's clarify that I don't DISAGREE with this. I just firmly believe that if we're both working, we're both sharing the housework. Equally. None of this woman stays home to do all of this shit and man goes out to work. I am used to, and enjoy, being the main breadwinner or at the very least, an equal breadwinner.

There is a lot of sexism and inequality present in Brazil still. You can see it in the way many people treat and look at women (or totally ignore them as I've experienced more times than I can count). It's not even something people are aware of. Just the same way that sexism exists in our language (the fact that we always say "hey guys" and many other examples I'll just not get into). Brazil is a feminine and masculine language. It's something that just exists culturally and was created a very long time ago. It takes work to change a habit. A lot of people aren't even aware that there's a problem.

I never felt like an inadequate women/wife until I moved to Brazil and saw the role of the wife here. There is so much responsibility that falls on women here. I didn't grow up like that and even though Ro is a forward thinking person (which came from living on his own for several years in another country) I can still see that he is used to and ok with this dynamic.

Sorry to break it to you but I will never be a Brazilian wife.

More Life After Death

2010-08-29T16:17:00.005-03:00

Death is sad for a lot of people. I would even go so far as to say it's sad for most people. It's always hard to say goodbye and let go of a loved one. After someone dies, we mourn. We collect the body, display it in a box openly for people to look at and say their final goodbyes, wish a speedy journey, etc etc according to whatever your beliefs may be.

I have a bit of a different view. I really don't enjoy looking at body of a deceased loved one. It doesn't make me feel better or worse. In fact, I don't like my final memory of that person to be an empty body which no longer even resembles all that a person was in life - alive. While death is sad for me, I don't cry for the passed family member. I cry for my family. To see everyone so sad, to be surrounded by that sadness - that is what is more heartbreaking for me.

I can accept death. I do believe in an afterlife. I believe in spiritual energy and believe that it exists beyond our physical bodies. While I am not a religious person by any means, I feel comforted by the fact that after we die, we will be reincarnated again to experience more challenges in the journey of perfecting our souls.

Why all of this death talk?... you may wonder. Ro's grandfather passed away on Thursday. To my surprise, they have the funeral the next day here (In Canada it is usually no less than 3 days later because of all the arrangements to make). The Brazilian 'wake' means that family members stay with the body the entire day before the funeral. It was explained to me that in Catholic tradition they used to stay with the body for 48 hours to make sure that the person had really died and wouldn't rise out of a 'fake' death confused and alone.

Morbid? Yes, but it's been known to happen.

The one thing I liked about the Brazilian traditions was that you could go and spend time with the body by yourself and could say what you wanted, or pray, or just be with the person privately. Something that has always made me uncomfortable about North American traditions was standing up at the front of a crowded room with your whole family, looking at the dead person, touching him/her, crying... it never felt normal or natural to me. I always think "this isn't even them anymore". It's like a projection or something. I'm not into the whole open casket theory.

Something they don't do here that I like about North American funerals is close the casket and have a 'funeral'. People get up and speak about the person who has passed. They talk about nice memories. Good things the person did in life. What we will remember them for. It's nice because you learn things, special things, that you may not have known. It makes everyone feel a little bit of happiness to have known that person.

One thing that remained the same, however, was family. There is nothing like death to bring a family close together. Everyone needs each other, isn't shy to cry in front of one another, no one is afraid to hug, to give comfort, to offer food, or any other comforts... It was time for us to all to stop and be together.
I actually think that on a personal "family" level, it was a good ledge for our immediate l'il family to communicate and catch up - something we don't do even living in the same house. It kind of erased any and all petty feelings or arguments that were possibly being harboured and gave us a clean slate.

So, because they didn't do it officially, I feel the need to give a little eulogy for Ro's grandfather.

Although I only knew him for a short time, he was one of the most welcoming, warmest people I met here in Brazil. From the first moment I called him 'Vô' and he treated me like a granddaughter. He complimented me. He impressed me by speaking all of the English that he remembered as a once young man who could speak another language. I felt comfortable speaking to him in Portuguese, even in the beginning when I was scared to speak to anyone else.
From the handful of times we spent together, I learned things about him. He laughed at everything. Although I have heard that in the past his laugh could have been heard from 7 floors down, all the way down the street, it was now just a soft chuckle but still ever present. I learned that he loved samba music. He loved camping. I learned that he had loved his wife immensely. The kind of love we all want to have. I knew how much he missed her.
I knew that he couldn't have been very comfortable but he never complained. We watched the Canadian winter Olympics together and he pointed out every time a Canadian athlete was competing. He was thoughtful and considerate.
He is the grandfather that I never had in my adult life (my only living grandfather passed away when I was young - maybe 10 or 11 years old). I know what an impact he made on Ro's life and from speaking with family and friends on Friday, I know what an impact he made on their lives as well. "He was just the best" was the most eloquent and to-the-point comment I heard said.
I wish I could have known him for longer but I feel grateful to have had him in my life at all.
Vai com Deus Vô... te amamos para sempre

Christmas time at Vô's

Carnaval!

Saturdays & Teaching

2010-08-21T16:00:00.001-03:00

Saturdays are good. Always have been, always will be.

This morning I woke up for my Saturday morning student, a guy who likes his classes out on the balcony with a view overlooking the Ocean. Good stuff. It's a great complex he lives in and one I'm seriously looking into renting myself.

I love teaching this way. I believe I really lucked out when it came to getting good work with a great school(s). The type of teaching I do is exactly what I wanted. I looked into a lot of different options (and all of the schools for sure - Ibeu, Wizard, CCAA, CNA and the list goes on) but when I found New Start I knew that I hit the jackpot (at least in terms of job satisfaction (well, and pay)).

The school gets students who want English classes at their place of business. The school then has a teacher travel to their work to teach them a private class (which is, in my case, never more than 2 students). I love this method for a few reasons.
1. In some cases, the student buys a reputable book from the school and our classes are based on the workbook topics. In the case a student doesn't buy a book, I can teach whatever I want/the student wants. Flexibility mixed with structure.

2. I get the opportunity to see more of the city. I have students in Barra da Tijuca, Ipanema, Flamengo and Centro so I get a lot of practice taking the bus, communicating on my own, and walking around these parts of the city. Gets me out of the house.

3. I can also include my own private students along with the school's students. The pay of the school is very good compared to that of schools like Ibeu and the aforementioned. Not even comparing, the pay is very good. The school is guaranteed income for me, they GIVE me students, and when I find other students on my own I just add those to the guarantee. Allows me to have a good handle on my monthly income.

4. I absolutely LOVE teaching. I love meeting new students, finding out why they want to learn English and then structuring classes around their needs. I love to see them improve and see that they are understanding more of what I say. (on that note, I teach levels from true beginner to upper intermediate - if you speak Portuguese this will obviously help you take on more lower level students). Amazing job satisfaction!!

Yeah, teaching English is damn awesome. I've only been teaching for the last 3 months and I'm up to about 20 hours per week + 15-20 hours of planning/travel time. Some of those are school hours, some are private. Just to share, in case anyone is curious about how much money you could expect through teaching, I am making around R$2500 per month (about CA$1500). It's not a lot in North American standards but the beautiful part? I am not stressed. At all. I love every minute of it and I feel like I'm being paid to do something I would do for free (shh just don't tell my students that).

Anyway, this Saturday turned out to be a lovely day for reflecting on everything that's going well. As I sat at the padaria eating a misto quente and drinking fresh suco de laranga, I thought 'yeah, I like this... this'll do'.

Family Ties

2010-08-20T21:39:00.000-03:00

My family (and family in law) is something I don't like to write about very much here. I'm sure you all understand, it's not really an appropriate outlet for things that are so important.

I will share, however, some good things. All of you out there in bloggy land who are married to or are in a committed relationship with a foreigner understand to great degree how challenging it can be to have in-laws who don't speak the same language - literally and metaphorically. This was one of my biggest fears moving to Brazil and so it isn't overly shocking how true it's proven to be.

It's really important to me to have a good relationship with my in-laws. For one thing, we all live together (that's mother-in-law, father-in-law, sister-in-law, husband, myself, one cat and one dog in a 3 bedroom apartment).

As if that weren't challenging enough, we are constantly faced with communication difficulties. I was terrified to be alone with my in-laws without my husband for about the first 4 months or so of living here.

Over time, as my Portuguese began to improve, I was able to spend time alone with my sister-in-law and mother-in-law (my father-in-law travels a lot with work and so there hasn't been the same opportunity to spend time with him). Plus, based on my own personal family dynamic (growing up with my mom and sister) it's extra important and extra special for me to develop good relationships/friendships with my female in-laws.

Yes, they have methods and rationals that I don't always understand. Ro's mom really REALLY loves Ro, which can sometimes be difficult for me (maybe it's jealousy really - I'm used to be smothered with love from my own mom!) Sometimes I believe this is a cultural thing - the oldest son in the household is always praised and adored.

Anyway, every single experience has helped me get to know Ro's family better.

Today it was just Ro's mom and I in the house. Although we still don't have the closest relationship, I really try to show her that I care so I helped her clean the house. I mopped and vacuumed her room and my own. Later, this evening, I went to buy beer so we could drink a beer and watch the novela together.

We spent time chatting a little, laughing at Nina playing, drinking our beers. Simple conversation but definitely much more complex than we could say 8 months ago! It's good. I can live with this relationship. At the very least, we've all learned to sit comfortably together in silence.

Anyone else have foreign in-law experiences to share? Language challenges? Cultural barriers?

Ruffles Don't Taste the Same in Rio

2010-08-15T15:42:00.000-03:00

It's true, folks. They don't. For any of you hoping to find the same comfort snacks you go to at home in North America/Europe/GB, look again. Or stock up.

First, I'm a chip fan. Well, I'm also a big chocolate fan. But I often crave chips. Salty, original Ruffles to be exact. While, YES they do have Ruffles here (original as well as Steak flavour or cream cheese???) (oh and P.S. they pronounce them HUFFLES - beware when asking) they just don't taste the same! Not quite as salty or the potato is different. I can't put my finger on it exactly. But I have discovered a LOVELY alternative to my adored Huffles.

Sencacoes! They are the Brazilian equivalent of Lays but are much saltier and therefore much more delicious. Ya baby.

Another issue I have is with the size of chocolate bars here. In Brazil, chocolate bars are only sold in HALLOWE'EN CANDY size. This is ridiculous frankly. When I decide I want chocolate, I am committing. Committing to the caloric intake and committing to the amount of chocolate I want in my belly. This 75 calories a bar stuff, well, it just isn't enough. But then again, when I think about it, I'm satisfied after eating one. And it's pretty ridiculous that they sell KING size chocolate bars in Canada. So fine, Brazil. You can have this one.

Final gripe about snacks in Brazil is COOKIES. Brazil has never seen a cookie. This is what Brazil thinks is a cookie.

Your eyes do not deceive you. They are all small, hard and perfect circles. Often filled with an icing in the middle. They don't even have Oreo!!! Oh sorry, they have 'Negresco.' Not Oreo. If you're gonna do small hard and perfect circles, at least make it an Oreo. The only one here that is a square shape is Passa Tempo which I will vouch for because Passa Tempo is daaaaaaamn good.

But where are the Christie chocolate chip cookies? Oreos? Mrs. Fields softies?

Bah! I'm going to eat my 75 calorie Twix (that and Snickers are the only American chocolate bars you'll find!)

Going out in Rio

2010-08-07T17:09:00.001-03:00

So lately I've been going through this drinking phase where I find myself drinking and getting drunk about 2-3 times a week. This is more than I normally drink (especially to the point of drunk) but it has to do with my new-found ~~obsession~~ desire to have a social life. I've always enjoyed drinking - love wine, beer, mixed drinks ... I'm not picky. It's just that I'm finding the only sure way of making friends is
a) in the bar, and
b) whilst drinking

I've mentioned going out a few times to this Irish Bar in Ipanema that is pretty awesome. I mean, yes it's half-filled with tourists but they speak English! The upside is, obviously, that I can hang out, ~~get wasted~~ have some beers and socialize in English. The downside is that they are mostly all here temporarily (leaving in a month, leaving in a week, leaving tomorrow).

I suppose this is the permanent downside to being a foreigner in another country. If you make friends with other foreigners, it's almost always a temporary friendship. Somebody will leave someday.

But while that all sounds depressing, it's been the most amazing thing for my overall level of happiness here lately. I've met quite a few temporary friends just by going to the bar and talking to people. Even if it doesn't go further than that, at least I feel reassured by the fact that I AM still sociable and I DON'T just stay home with Ro all the time (as my sister-in-law so lovingly pointed out - I will also mention that she shared her opinions without being asked for them (that good ol' Brazilian Honesty) and it was actually said as more of a criticism. I really need to go out and 'talk' to people and make friends because it's not 'healthy' to stay at home so much). I digress. That's a whole other blog.

Anyway! I've also made friends with a couple guys from my second school who are really nice people. Always up for some beers, some music and general hanging out. So, tonight, I am going to meet up with them in Lapa for some drinking and samba and whatever!

Good times. Yes, good times.

Just trying to kill some time in the Public Library

2010-08-06T09:53:00.004-03:00

So, on Tuesdays and Thursdays I come all the way down to Zona Sul to teach some students. It's about an hour and a half to two hour bus ride. In case that sounded bitter in any way, it's not. I actually love having a reason to come down here... it's far enough that I can't come just for a Sunday stroll.
The only crappy thing about my Tuesday/Thursday combo is that I have a huge gap of time between 2 and 6pm where I literally (figuratively) have to kill time until my last class and basically I have to try not to spend money.

My last class is actually in Centro and on the way there I always pass the Biblioteca Nacional. It's a really beautiful building and and I always think 'what better way to spend some free time than preparing for a class in an awesome library.' (Maybe you can think of other better ways actually... but this is pretty good). I just have never made it inside yet.

Today my last morning class canceled so I actually had between 1 and 6pm to kill (ack) so I decided to meander on into the library for the first time.

Can someone tell me why getting into the library is like trying to get into prison???? It's like they're trying to keep the books from escaping. And not only that, but you're actually not even allowed to ACCESS any books unless you know exactly what you're looking for. I Just want to look at the damn books! Just want to peruuuuuse the shelves. Is that really such a problem at the LIBRARY? Well, apparently here, it is.

Before I made it through the threshold though, I managed to figure out that I needed a key to enter the library. This led me to a verrrrrry tiny locker where I was advised to leave my enormous backpack and bring in only paper and a pencil. I grabbed a pen, thinking 'pen, pencil, what's the diff?'. I was STOPPED though by the huge prison guard blocking the entrance who said "PENCILS ONLY."

Okaaaaaayyyy...

Then I scanned my visitor's badge and was asked to hand over my notebook for the other prison guard to skim through it for...?? Whatever test I was going through, I passed because I was allowed to enter into one room and one room only. This room:

A huge private school study hall circa 1950.

And why are there no books?? Only drawers and drawers of index cards?! Huh? Who uses the index card system??

Anyway, regardless of the super tight entrance system and old school filing system (which is actually pretty cool) this library is beautiful. The building itself makes me stop to look every time I pass by. The huge marble double staircase in the entrance is nothing less than just grand. Another time I will pay the R$2 and get the full tour. But for now, I sit here and write this blog the old fashioned way - pencil and paper in hand....

When It Rains, It Stinks

2010-08-04T01:42:00.002-03:00

It´s rainy today. Actually, it´s been rainy for the past two days. The worst thing about the rain is the stink in the city. There is a distinct ´wet human´ smell that I can smell as it walks towards me, from 5 meters away. The thing is, on a regular day the 'poor unfortunate souls' spread out on the street, but when it starts to rain, they naturally take shelter. So then there are 5 super stinky people all standing together at the top of the metro, under the roof of the office building, or blocking the sidewalk, inside the elevator, and on the metro. I have started to anticipate when the stink starts and am able to inhale deeply right at the moment of contact, hold it, hold it, hold it and slowly exhale for a good 5 meters past the smell.

Yeah, so, it stinks is what I´m trying to say.

The other thing about the rain, which is pretty consistent with most cities (but maybe a little more here) is how the city slows down to HALF the normal slow speed. Why is there a completely stopped traffic jam at 10:30 in the morning on the way to Zona Sul? Because there is the threat of rain! I swear, these Carioca´s slow down because it´s a little windy out. Add to it the fact that I'm already late (all the time), so this stresses me out just a lil. Actually, the only ones who DON'T slow down (and coincidentally the only ones who probably should slow down during rain) are BUSES. Actually, buses probably speed up in the rain, taking their already alarming speed up to near death experience/could drive off the road and flip the entire bus speed.

Did I mention I saw a bus yesterday that had driven off the road? Yeah, it was definitely in the ditch. I saw this from the window of the bus I was on which was THE SAME ROUTE!

Anyway, enjoy the rain!

More on making friends in Rio

2010-07-28T21:25:00.002-03:00

So, making friends in Brazil. You've heard the rumours. Brazilians are so so nice and so so friendly. It should be a cinch to make friends then, right? Not wrong, but not totally right. In my experience with trying to make friends with Brazilians, I've sort of come up feeling shortchanged. The conversations can be alright, especially if they speak a little English. It usually turns into an amusing attempt at conversation with both sides making multiple errors and ultimately bonding over the fact that you are both making a fool of yourself in the other's language.

On the other hand, when you do speak Portuguese, and the person you're speaking with is relatively open-minded, they are pretty good to try and make you feel comfortable, translating occasional words into English (albeit you already know those words, but it's the thought, right?)

I had been getting a little bit tired of this though. Friendships are never really truly developed. Deep, meaningful conversations are never truly had. There are too many pauses, stumbles, stutters... (for now at least).

And another challenge for me has been the whole 'I live on the other side of the planet' thing. I live in a neighborhood on the far west end of Rio. I mean far. You think Barra da Tijuca is far? I live past Barra.... It really is the same experience that any of you living in a small town (or Niteroi) have. You are surrounded by Brazilians who have lived there their whole lives. Their families live there (both sides if they're married). Their friends live there. Cliques are made and although I've been invited out by my lovely SIL to join in, it never really evolves beyond that.

So I decided as of late that I need to get me some friends the good old fashioned way. Just totally interrupting whatever they're doing and pushing my way in!

I probably should point out that I can only do this when I hear people speaking English and I can only find English people in Zona Sul. On the subway, looking at a map on the street, in a bar...There's nothing that brings people together more than going up to someone speaking English in a bar full of Brazilians with your best 'Night at the Roxbury' opening... "you? me? you? me? you? me?"

Works every time.

I went to the only 'Irish Pub' in Rio last night (Shenanigans) looking for some friends. The second I heard them (there were only 3) walk by me I practically ran out to the balcony after them. (Another 'keep in mind', I had arrived at 6 for happy hour, it was now 9:30 and I was already 3 1/2 pints in - Oh yes, I was alone in a bar. Big deal, wanna fight about it?)

At least you know you always have a good opening line when approaching other foreigners. Especially when your goal truly is to make friends and not to pick up. (This makes it substantially harder, I might add!)
But it's like winning a game when you are well received by your chosen victims and they respond well to your methods, which are rather unconventional. I sound like a goddamn vampire/molester. English teacher by day, Vampire Molester by night. That is, a vampire who molests people, I don't molest vampires.... what are you, sick??

Anyway, my friendship attack went pretty well - we exchanged emails and talked about meeting up again sometime. It can definitely be tricky to make friends with the opposite sex. I try to keep things reeeeeally casual and name drop my husband a lot. Not in an annoying 'Just so you know I have a HUSBAND' way but in a protective 'Back off! Get your own sandwich!" kind of way...

See this Canadian commercial to know what I'm referencing here...

ANYWAY!
Friends are working their way into my life. I would love to make good friends with some Brazilians here but I just have to keep working on the Portuguese bit by bit. If I were to make this blog into a 'tip' blog, my #1 tip for people moving to Brazil (or any foreign country for that matter) is:

1. BACK OFF! GET YOUR OWN SANDWICH!
and my #2 tip is
2. LEARN HOW TO SPEAK THE LANGUAGE!! YOU'RE A FOOL IF YOU DON'T!

o fim de semana sempre passa muito rapido!!

2010-07-25T18:36:00.002-03:00

Sunday night already... I could go to sleep right now! This weekend was one of the most entertaining/event filled weekends I've had since moving to Brazil. Serio!
Let's start with Thursday. Ro took the bus out to Botofogo to meet me after work so we could have a few chopp's and then catch an Anima Mundi film. The festival is playing animation films from all over the world. The set we went to see included two films from Canada, two from Brazil, an American, a Japanese a... Danish? British? I'm not remembering very well anymore. Anyway! We saw a bunch of different short animations which were all very... interesting.

Actually the whole thing really made me question whether or not I really enjoyed the films themselves or just the concept of going to the festival. I did LOVE the idea of going there... being amongst the artsy society of Rio, the bohemians, the creatives. But the films themselves were a bit out there - even for me, and I'm pretty open minded to the weirdest shit.
Y'know when you look at a painting that everyone has titled 'a masterpiece'... it's like a huge black circle with red streaks of paint all across it with one, single, tiny yellow dot in the middle that is supposed to represent something? And you are thinking to yourself "I don't get it." That's kind of how I felt with some of these films. One was about a man who hated to waste anything, who suddenly discovers a tree growing out of his head. In the end people start going to this tree as it blooms and having fun, partying, drinking, and end up leaving tons of garbage on his head. He gets so angry that he rips the tree out of his head in a giant rage. Then he has a big hole in his head which turns into a lake and the same people come back to go swimming and littering some more.

So umm.... I don't get it. I mean I get it. I get the symbolism. I also get that sometimes you aren't meant to get it. It's the creator's art and it's for them to understand sometimes.

Anyway, I DID love drinking chopps on a Thursday with my husband in Botofogo and going to the film festival after. Sometimes the idea of it is all you need.

Friday we went to see the Christ for the first time since I've arrived in Rio! IT was a beautiful day for siteseeing and the Christ was really impressive. Yep, that's all I have to say about that. Instead, here are some pictures.

SATURDAY, as you may have heard, I met up with Jim, Rachel and Greg for chopps in Copacabana. Guys, thanks for such an awesome afternoon. What I thought was especially great though - in addition to speaking at a normal speed with common expressions - was that BECAUSE we all live in Rio and therefore speak the same Brazilian slang, the conversation was also littered with these everyday Portuguese expressions we now use here in Brazil that are only REALLY understood by another foreigner living in Brazil. From the two kisses hello to the 'ti, ti, ti', to the 'opa' to the brushing off hand movements, to the mais tres chopps, and then mais quatro chopps (when Greg arrived) and, of course, finishing off with a nice saidera. This is what's nice about hanging out with other foreigners. We can talk 'foreigner' and we can also talk 'native'. Rachel, I don't know how you went to another party afterward. I definitely fell asleep on the bus on the way home.

Ladies and Gents, please schedule into your day planners the event on August 20-22 or 27-29. www.carnavaldasculturas.org, Rio's annual multicultural event by the beach. I know it's far for some of you (very far for some) but it would be a GREAT weekend away and you know we will all make time for each other!

What a great weekend!

Is a Stereotype a Stereotype for a Reason?

2010-07-21T17:06:00.001-03:00

Let us discuss, for a moment, the Brazilian Stereotype.

There are many a stereotype in the world. Here are a few (as taken from this site:
Here we have the Canadian Stereotype:

Canadians – submissive; neurotic; agreeable; modest; open-minded; progressive; efficient; straight-forward; polite; respectful; anxious; law-abiding; orderly; caring for handicapped/elderly/minorities; tolerant; multi-lingual; moderate; no hero/celebrity worshiping; don’t like successful people; anti-American; passive; boring; socialist mindset; eat blubber; wear funny hats; live in igloos further north (they forgot drink a lot of Molson Canadian)

And here we have the American Stereotype:

American – arrogant; assertive; open-minded; materialistic; ambitious; progressive; efficient; straight-forward; alert; practical; US-centered world view; egoistic; anxious; fast food eaters; war mongers; God is with us!

British Stereotype:

British (UK) – drinkers; lousy food; stiff upper-lips; ultra-traditional; steady-on, old chaps; bulldog spirit; bad teeth and hygiene; rude; thin; smoke cigar or pipe; scruffy hair; “fitted” clothing; heavy binge drinkers; swear all day long; artistic; “fashionable”; deep thinkers; intelligent and articulate; boastful; anti-American; ride bikes; God save the Queen!

And just because I see some people in France are reading my blog (Sacrebleu! lol), here we have the French Stereotype:

French – good lovers; best cuisine in the world; chaotic; irresponsible; introverted; selfish; cultured; social “players”; do not like to work – prefer to strike; always surrender in war; don’t speak English; rude to tourists; anti-American; ungrateful; live in a bureaucratic Socialist system, totally dependent on the state; don’t use soap; arrogant and conceited; distant and difficult to meet; don’t respect religious freedom; snobs; God who?

And now for the Brazilian Stereotype:

Brazilians – body-centric; party animals; impulsive; incestuous; megalomaniac; most women are super-models, most men are gay or machos; always late; carnivals addicts; soccer and coffee lovers; criminals and robbers; lazy/manana attitude; bean and meat eaters; beach and sun-worshipers; bikini (called: dental floss here) inventors; active; inventive and constructive people; always trying to outwit government and regulations; impossibly favor-oriented; family- and community-oriented

The whole point of this post started because in the last two days (and of course on other days as well) I've heard some very negative stereotypes about Brazilians being spoken out loud. By Brazilians. It seems to me that Brazilians have a very negative stereotype of themselves and I really didn't understand where it came from. In Canada, at least, the impression Canadians have of Brazil is beautiful women, small bikinis, beaches, carnival, soccer. At least, that's all I really knew about before meeting a (real life!) Brazilian. Of course, it's a true stereotype but maybe it just perpetuates the Canadian stereotype that we're all so nice and open-minded, that we really wouldn't have a negative opinion about anyone anyway (except Americans of course!)!

Anyway, the only things I ever hear Brazilians saying about themselves is that they are lazy, hate working, and steal everyone's shit. Oh that, and they are all so friendly because they kiss hello (and North American's are cold because they don't). Getting off topic! Note to self: Don't turn this into a rant!

In the last two days I mean, I've heard 2 Brazilians talking about how Brazilians hate working and if they didn't have to work they wouldn't. And they were telling this to their BOSS! And the 3rd guy said that in Canada, the reason Canadian are able to carry our bikes on the front of busses (side story) is because no Brazilians live there! They say in Brazil, you would never be able to do this because someone would steal your bike.

I just wanted to get to the bottom of whether or not certain stereotypes exist cross-culturally and if these stereotypes are generally true or not.
What do you guys think of this stereotype? I personally have never even seen this type of behaviour in 'real' Brazilians. At least, no more than you see it in any other culture.

Not in the same way I see Canadians in their funny hat wearing, law abiding, boring way. Not the way I see Americans eating fast food and being big war supporters. Not the way I see the English with their lack of a good dentist or stiff-upper-lips. Not the way I see the French wearing berets and carrying a french stick in a basket on a bike. (Wait they really do that and I LOVE it!)

The point is, stereotypes exist because 'apparently' the majority of the population is like that. According to the website I acquired this info from though, it says that “National character stereotypes are not even exaggerations of real differences: They are fictions.”

I dunno though! You tell me - what do you think of your own stereotype? Is it true for a lot of people or totally off?