Saturday, May 12, 2012

The Next Chapter

Nothing to report lately - except obvious baby stuff but I don't want to fill this blog up with that.  That's what my Facebook is for ;)  Oh, and my English classes, Skype sessions with Mom and every waking second with my husband. 

Clearly I have baby on the mind and it's kind of taking over everything. 

But, well, I also have other things on my mind... like Canada.  So it's official.  We're moving back to Canada.  I'd say permanently, but seeing as our lives will be forever divided between two countries, I can't say that for sure.  I can say for sure that two months from now our bags will be packed and we will be on our way to the airport to close one chapter of our lives and open another one. 

While I'm completely certain that this is what I want, and feel like we're currently in a good place emotionally/spiritually/mentally in Brazil to say goodbye, what I'm having the hardest time with is the actual finality of this adventure. 

The first bit 20/29 months of my Brazilian life were really really really difficult.  I was not very happy, not in a great place, going through a lot of personal challenges... but after we moved (for the FOURTH time in 2 years!) things took an incredible turn for the better.  I actually started to see Brazil more clearly as my haze of hatred lifted.  There are many things I can credit (like our new neighbourhood, finally having friends close by, less travel time, and more culture - and don't forget, I started seeing an amazing psychologist).  But things really did get better.  I am happy now. 

Now after getting through almost two years that felt like they would NEVER END, I can't believe we only have two months left!  It's this bittersweet feeling that I've been grappling with lately.  There are a lot of things that are not ideal about Brazil, but there are a lot of awesome things that I'm going to miss as well. 

Portuguese is one of them. 

Also, farmer's markets.

Beautiful scenery.

Easy get-away weekend destinations.  (and I only just started getting into these!)

Friends who 'get' the difficulties. 

Being 'the foreigner'.  

Teaching English privately.

And especially, being close to Ro's family, and my second family. 

Two months is not long before we say goodbye to these things for a little while.  I think, however, I've become addicted to change so I'm really anxious and excited about starting anew.... As hard as things have been, I'm leaving this country more aware, accepting, patient and adaptable than when I started.  It's been a journey I wouldn't change for anything! 

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