Saturday, October 1, 2011

Dear Son-of-a-bitch Who Stole My Bike....

This was my actual bike
To the stupid a**hole who stole my bike yesterday while it was parked (AND LOCKED) in front of a busy finance office on Praia de Botafogo where I was giving a class for only ONE HOUR, please kindly burn in hell.

I don't want to believe you stole my R$1000 bike to sell her parts for R$50 to support your drug habit.  I want to believe that you desperately needed a bike because you can't afford the bus.  Because you needed a way to get your kids to school.  Because you wanted to be a delivery boy and it was the only way to get the job.  I want to give you the benefit of the doubt that you weren't just a stupid jackass and believed, for some reason, that you were entitled to what was mine, just because it was left locked and unattended.

Am I the sucker here?  I locked my bike.  Why do I feel so guilty?  Like I didn't lock it enough... like I should have put two locks on it.  Or I should have tried harder to find a garage to put it in.  Like I got too comfortable and this was just a bit of reality stabbing me in the kidney just to put me back on the right track.  The track of fear and mistrust.  I hate this feeling.  I want to be able to trust people and to live in a safe place where I can leave my bike locked on the sidewalk in front of a busy building and trust that nobody will steal it.  I want to at least trust that a bystander on the street would see a guy with BOLT CUTTERS cutting the lock off my bike and try to stop him...

I've been told, and I believe, that I've been very lucky living here for almost 2 years.  I've never had any kind of trouble with theft, or even with suspicious people.  I take the bus alone. I take my IPhone out on the bus.  I walk through tunnels.  Things that people constantly tell me not to do, I do.  Because wtf!  I don't want to have to give up my right to freedom!  Sometimes I swear that if I were robbed I would not give in easily.  But again, I've never actually been in that situation so I can't say for sure how I would react.  In my 'robbing fantasy" (yes, I have fantasies about being robbed - well, they're more like daydreams) I always grab the guys' weapon and scream "No! You give me YOUR money!" and they get scared and run away and I'm a hero.

But I dunno.... I can't really trust that I'll follow through on that... especially since everyone who comments here will say "Are you crazy!  Just give him everything he wants!"  I know, I know.... 'thing's aren't worth your life'.  I agree.  I just feel so pissed that my husband worked so hard, saved his money for months, bought and surprised me with this beautiful blue bike, and some jackass comes along and takes it.

Probably to sell for R$50 to support his drug habit.  Prove me wrong, thief.  Return my bike and prove me wrong!

Here are some pics of me enjoying some beautiful days on my bike.... Tear!  I love you my beautiful bicycle!


  1. Oh that SUCKS!! Sorry to hear about that!

  2. Sorry to hear about your BIKE!
    I guess that is the worse part of living in a big city.
    I also love your "robbing" fantasy! Ha! No! Gimme YOUR MONEY! lol!!
    I guess the way to go is probably to leave a bike inside a building's garage like you said. Maybe the Garage attedants will be happy to watch your bike for you.


  3. Ugh, that sucks :-(

    In my "robbing" daydream (more like nightmare) - the thief gets mad because I have a crappy cell phone that's worse than his. How dare I not carry an iPhone, as a rich white foreigner??? :-p

    Speaking of bystanders stepping in, have you seen this video? It's a setup where three people (black guy, white guy, and pretty girl) steal a bike openly in a park, and the public's reactions is filmed:

  4. I'm so pissed off on your behalf! And I love your daydream too. I always thought I would do something like that if I got robbed, but when the time came I just handed him my stuff and walked away. I was shaking in fury, but still did just what he said. Gah.

    I've tagged you as a winner of the "Versatile Blogger" award on my blog. Hope you don't mind.

  5. You've captured it so perfectly. Sorry!!

  6. well back to taking the bus. i would never be so kind as to write about giving the guy the benefit of doubt, i would instead buy a voodoo doll :P so calm of you. must be the yoga helping...erm i need to get started on that. hope you get a new bike soon :)


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