Sometimes things are so unbelievably new and exciting that I can't talk about them here. Primarily, because it's important that I talk to my family about these novidades in person, so they don't have to find out about them in digital ink.
So, two months since my last blog. And in the last two months my life has taken on a completely new direction. My apologies for anyone who was missing my blogs - I was! - but now that I've talked about everything with our families I can finally go back to putting my thoughts on this hypothetical page.
So, the big news is I'm pregnant! Three months pregnant, to be exact. Turns out that I was already pregnant during Carnaval (albeit only, like, a week - but still... whoops!) Went out with a bang there...
I find it strange that almost every Brazilian person I tell about my pregnancy follows up directly with "Was it planned?" Pardon? Was it planned? What an oddly personal question that does not go against my expectations of Brazilian culture at all. So, ok, yes it was planned. And if it wasn't? Would I get a look of pity?? I might start saying it wasn't, just as an experiment.
I also have to add an aside here: I know NOTHING about babies, pregnancy, giving birth, normal reactions towards pregnant women, etc., etc.... so if I am slightly shocked by some of these 'oddities' but you think they are apparently normal, please feel free to enlighten me. I'm really only basing things on how I would react to a pregnant woman. Not that I have even personally known that many, so therein lies the problem (probably).
The next thing that people almost automatically do is touch my belly. It's like being pregnant automatically removes your 'personal space shield' and it's a free-for-all for anyone who wants to touch you. I'm not sure how I feel about this. On one hand it's kind of comforting, on the other hand my inner conscious screams "STOP! THIS IS MY BODY! I AM MORE THAN A GIANT BELLY!" But people would probably disagree with that so it's best to just let it happen.
So, as I said, I'm totally dumb about pregnancy. I've never had a close friend have a baby, never even a family member whose pregnancy I got to experience. I think the last time I even held a baby was when I was about 10 years old. So, there are some things happening to me that I didn't know to expect...
1. INSANE EXHAUSTION. Holy freaking hell. I was so so tired during the first 3 months that I slept at every possible opportunity (and I'm talking for like 3-4 hours, and that was AFTER sleeping 8-10 hours at night). Another reason I stopped blogging.
2. INSANE HOT FLASHES. Meaning the 'flash' lasted all day, everyday. I was never not sweating like a fat, sweaty man and add to it that Rio has been going through a giant disgusting heat wave for the last 2 months. I was in my own personal hell and thank god that part is over.
3. HORRIBLE HEADACHES. I am having what the doctor (and by doctor, I mean Internet) calls "tension headaches". They squeeze my head on the sides and leave me feeling totally debilitated. To make it worse, I can't take any medicine while preggers. (Also didn't know that I couldn't take over-the-counter medicine... ugggh)
4. MY BODY IS LITERALLY WIDENING. Yes, Danielle. LITERALLY. I noticed it about 3 weeks ago that the circumference of my hips was actually broader. My husband noticed too (he was totally more excited that I was). Oh, and thanks to that my pants don't fit anymore.
5. WILD, CRAZY DREAMS. I repeat, wild, CRAZY, dreams. Vivid. Allllllllllll about pregnancy, giving birth, breast feeding, my relationship with my mom and my dad... and are we seeing a theme here?
6. HAIR GROWTH. Oh, yes. We've heard the stories that pregnancy gives you a beautiful head of hair. I guess they conveniently forgot to mention that the hair grows EVERYWHERE else too. Even my eyebrows are growing faster than normal. And where I could usually go 5-6 weeks between waxing, now I'm an every month kinda girl. (Not that I am going anymore anyway! It's waaaay too sensitive down there!) (P.S. Before you say ok TMI Lindsey, I have vowed to give as much information about this pregnancy to spare others from being surprised like I have been!)
7. DOUBTS. For me, there has also been some guilt because I started to doubt if I was really ready for a baby, ready to be a mother, etc etc. I guess it's normal, but there is this expectation for women to be SO thrilled and overjoyed all the time at the idea of being pregnant. Throw some raging hormones into the mix and you're not always so confident in your decision...
For now those have been the biggest mysteries unfolded. I'm preeetty sure there will be many more fun surprises and I caannnn't wait! (there is a great need for a sarcasm font!) The good news is, I'm back!