Sunday, September 26, 2010

Aaaaand I'm back

Well, blank page.  We meet again.

After a 3 week hiatus from writing (or reading) any blogs, I'm going to actively try to get a new one out there.  It's not going to be easy - actually lately the pressure to write has felt so high that it turned me off of blogging altogether.  I'm just saying.  Sometimes I need to take a moment and remember WHO I'm writing this for.


Now, I know it's naive - well, actually it's just plain stupid - to think that I'm writing this for myself knowing full well that people read it.  But the more lost I get in writing for other people, the more pressure I feel to keep turning out clever, funny, interesting blogs and then this turns into a job.  And I got a job.

Anyway, the whole point of starting a blog was to document my feelings and experiences in Brazil.  There.  I'm bringing it home.

To be honest, I am officially calling the last 3 weeks "The Three Weeks that I Hated Brazil and Wanted to Yell Right In People's Faces (In English) and Just Go Home Already" Period.  Yeah, that about sums up my feelings of the last 3 weeks.
Actually it's been quite a while since I've felt any real rage towards Brazil.  The beginning had a lot, a lot of frustration and not understanding things, culturally and language-wise.  Then there would be occasional bouts of rage that generally lasted a day or a weekend.  They usually fizzled out after some quality time talking to someone from home or with my Honey.  But the last 3 weeks have been one big giant rage.
I hate meeting new Brazilians during these periods because, like clockwork, they will undoubtedly ask me if I'm gostando de Brasil?  And my answer at that moment is, not really.  And then they are sad.  Hey, you asked.

Ok, I almost started to type out exactly what it is that I'm not liking but I am actively trying to get past these rage-y feelings and I felt them start to bubble up inside me as soon as I started to type.  So, I'm not going to share specifics but it's nothing that any of my fellow ex-pats haven't experienced at one point or another.  It's not a secret why I've been feeling frustration and loneliness.  In fact, I'm sure that it's pretty crystal clear.

ANYWAY.  Moving on.

There are certain things I've been doing to relax myself and cope with my emotions.  Here's my list of things I try to do when I'm feeling crappy.

1.  Get a weekly manicure/pedicure.  Find a place that you like.  Don't settle for a crappy place just because your Family says it's cheaper.  If your manicure is awesome and costs R$10 more, who f'ing cares.  And do it because YOU want to feel pretty and pampered, not because everyone else does it. (Even though they do)

2.  Work out.  Even though it might kill you when you are down in the dumps and you might complain the entire time, you'll feel better later.   I can't say I've been doing really well at point #2 lately so if you're not feeling it, go directly to point #3.  

3.  Eat.  Nothing some good chocolate can't cure. Or chips. Or baking cookies/brownies.  Or pizza.

4.  Drink.  Alcohol, that is.  Yeah yeah, so they say it's a depressant.  Shut up.  I'm depressed and I want to get drunk.

5.  Get out of the house and buy something.  Go on.  You know you'll feel better if you have some new candles for the bedroom, or that shirt/belt/television you can't afford.  Whatever thing you like to buy that always makes you feel better for the rest of the day, go and buy it.

6.  Sleep.  So you want to sleep until 4 or 5 pm?  I say, fine by me.  I realize that this option isn't available to everyone but if it's an option for you, go ahead and indulge.

7.  Download all of the seasons of *insert favourite show here* and watch them all.  In one day.  I am currently on Season 6 of Sex and the City.  Past favourites include How I Met Your Mother, The Office, Glee, Breaking Bad and Friends.

So while the items on my list of helpful coping mechanisms don't actually make you productive, healthy or get you out of your slump, they do just what they intend to do.  Help you cope.
Sometimes being social (especially because you have to speak Portuguese) is even worse.  Sometimes it's good.  Depends on how good your Portuguese is (or their English). 

But as well as I know myself, I know that this slumpy period will pass.  It's just taking a little longer this time.  For now, I'm going to implement a little #2 followed by a #7 which may be later followed by a little #3 and #4.  We'll see how I feel.


  1. Welcome Back !!!You are right -it will pass and # 2 and # 7 are good places to start. Try The Good Wife and Pillars of the Earth if you want to stray away from comedy.A nice glass of # 4 with some of # 3 to snack on while you watch #7 would be a great way to relax.Hang in there!! I love you.

  2. Sorry to hear it's been tough lately. I've missed you and wondered what was up. Glad you're back.

    Is it time for an ex-pat meet up (with a little #4)?

    I'm currently downloading and watching the last season of The L Word. Yikes! Racy stuff! They would never put that stuff on TV if it were between guys - not even Showcase.

    Take care of yourself.

  3. Lindseyyyyyyyyyyyyy,
    You need to tell me when you feel that way. Then we can bitch together and it always makes me feel better when I can do that!

    I do hate the Brazilian Blues. They strike every once in a while and it stinks. For me? Ice cream. It always makes me feel better. And the movie The Family Stone...I dont know what it is about that movie, but whenever I watch it I always feel better. And of course shopping. Whenever I feel bad, I LOVE to go buy something. Feel better friend, and if you wanna just

  4. on skype, gmail chat. Lemme know :)

  5. Oi Lindsey,

    Meilina from NYC here :) I'm sorry to hear you've got the blues. Ahh, the ups and downs of life. I'm still on track for Rio in April 2011--I hope to meet you once I'm down there! I highly recommend "Freaks and Geeks". The main character's name is Lindsay. You won't be disappointed.

    Take care!

  6. When I first arrived I watched Grey's Anatomy over and over again. I basically memorized the first three seasons which turned out to be very useful. Sony aired it dubbed at lunchtime and I would practice my Portuguese while watching Grey's over lunch.

  7. my husband gets completely freaked out when i do the outbursts of anti-brazilian rage for no apparent reason. they happen at least once or twice a month. i think we all do. i have many "i hate brazil moments", for days, erm weeks. and during those times it's hard to blog...i know, and i even have a blog that i started 2 years before brazil ever existed in my life! yet it's still hard. i watch House religously on Universal Channel with the three bottles of wine i buy religiously every sunday to be consumed before the next sunday :P most of my brazil rages come from portuguese, not having a real job, getting yelled at for not wanting to hang out with the family every damn weekend, stupid things like psychology exams for driver's licenses, people who wash the sidewalk for an hour wasting water, lack of real friends, my silent family up in seattle, continual rain when im prepping for a race, no fresh cream in bottles for making ice cream, no kitchen cabinets, lack of protest against over priced imported items......op the list goes on :P anyways, i don't think i've ever read your blog before, but im having one of those just keep clicking so i don't have to work moments and stumbled. but all in all, i hear you. and don't blog until it is inspired :)

  8. You guys are all the best. Thanks for all of the kind words and support AND thanks for all of the TV suggestions!! I'm totally downloading them!

  9. Yep, I also have them... often... But luckily an evening out - some drinks & meeting a whole bunch of new people helps... At least I now know how good people (generally speaking) have it in Europe (where I'm from)... Enjoy your downloaded programs & keep being you - you'll get there at the end.

  10. please tell me how to get in touch with all of you fellow ex-pats... i feel totally alone here in brasil and what im reading makes me feel validated...i started a blog on blogspot so i have a site, i just am new to it and not sure how to proceed.. does anyone use skype? any suggestions and all contacts would be welcome.....


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