Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Bonding Time with Friends: A Story of Waxing, Beers, and Haircuts

There is nothing quite like the value of friendship.  Especially when you are a Stranger in a Strange Land.  (YES!  You don't know how happy I am to make that reference for myself, finally!)

Maybe you've been wondering, "How can I bring my friendships closer?  How can we have a more intimate relationship with my girlfriends?"  The answer is:  Waxing.
Girls waxing their crotches together is a speedy and reliable way to bring you to a level of comfort and  intimacy you never thought possible.  I've referenced other intimate waxing experiences in the past *ahem, watched Laura get a Brazilian, ahem* so you can trust me that I'm experienced in this field.  

Haha!  Waxing neither feels nor looks ANYTHING like this!
Just the nature of the activity demands that you discuss your crotches in detail with each other.  Details you'd probably be embarrassed to share in any other circumstance (but this is Brazil and Brazilians are notorious for being insanely comfortable talking about and showing off their bodies, so you join the party).

It's extra special when two of your party are getting the wax for the very first time, ever.  It's total unknown territory, and the idea of a stranger putting her hands all over an area which in the past has strictly been reserved for yourself, your partner, and your doctor is a little unnerving and guaranteed to bring you closer to your friends (physically closer, out of pure terror).

Then when one friend says, "This comes without the anus, right?"
and you say, "Oh no, this one comes with the anus waxed"
and she says, "No!! I don't want to wax my anus!!"
and you say, "Yes you do.  You definitely want to wax your anus.  She'll have the Virilha Total WITH the anus waxed, please."

Well, it goes without saying that you've now discussed waxing your friends' anus and therefore you are now, officially, closer than ever. 

The anus in question come up again later as you're, as gently as possible, trying to coach your friends through the waxing process.

"Then she will tell you to vira and segura seu bum bum".
"We have to turn over and hold our asses open to wax the anus?!?!?!??!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!"
(Exclamations NOT an exaggeration!!!!!!!!)
"Yes, you will need to hold the cheeks to help her out."
"Do we have to get on all fours???????" (this one made us laugh hysterically for around 7 minutes)
"No", I answer while wiping tears away.  "You can lay on your stomach, just hold your bum open!"

 **** Several stressful moments (for everyone) later, you're all smooth as a baby****

Having a freshly waxed crotch also makes you want to, obviously, drop your pants and show it off!  This may or may not be a good idea, but I suppose that depends on the deepness of the intimacy of your friendships.  My friends and I still have a few more waxes to get through before we reach this level, but it was definitely on the table!

After a lot of sweating and heart pounding, but albeit a good quality wax, beer is a definite must.  You need to discuss, in detail, the proceedings of the waxing.
"Did it hurt as much as you thought?"
"Well, she put one slab of wax on and couldn't get it off because the hair was too long!  I started to wonder if maybe I could just live with this giant slab of dried wax on my crotch forever."

After you get a little tipsy at the bar, it's time to part ways.  Two of you decide to make it a whole day of hair removal and get your hair cut (even though we already know how this is another stress point for you).  Since you have no evidence of a good place to cut your hair, you wander into the best looking place you pass.

Hair cutting with a friend is very intimate, especially because you get to watch, and be watched, during that moment in every haircut that makes you think "Oh no, this is gonna look like shit.... oh wait, she fixed that part.  Ok, crisis averted."

In the end, it works out because you are with your friend and that gives you some kind of super power moral support!

And so concludes The Guide to Bonding With Your Friends!  A lovely day it was!  Thanks girls :)


  1. Best post ever!

    I have yet to get the famous wax by a stranger (I do it myself). If I ever decide to try it, I'm totally coming to Rio and bringing you with me.

    Can we get the beer first? I'm scared. lol

  2. I was sure you were going to mention me again!


  3. OH MY GOD!

    "do we have to get on all fours?!?!?" HAHHA I cried from that one too!

    Good tips, although I don't know when the next time I'm going to get my crotch waxed with my lady friends.

    I'm guessing Cariocas of all genders wax though. So it is helpful!


  4. couldn't have done it without you!!! :) seriously...i would have run at the sight of those stairs to hell!

  5. Hahahahaha, I wish I'd had a friend with me for moral support the first time!

    One time, the depiladora, instead of having me remove my underwear, bunched the fabric together and took a string and tied it. I remember thinking, What's the point? You're going to see everything anyway.

  6. hahahhaa loved the post. i spent over a month stopping into the salon i had chosen to get waxed at for the first time before i finally had enough courage to finally do it. i spent the whole day talking with my girlfriends to get me pumped up and not back down. hahahaha it's a horrifying experience (the first time anyways) for Americans!!!!!!!!!!!!! However, I'd never, ever shave again... waxing is the way to go! So much nicer!

  7. Great post, reminds me of my first virhila experience but sadly by myself. Would have loved a companion, that definately serves for total bonding. But I do have to say after experiencing it many times now I am now very comfortable getting naked with the depiladora standing there staring at me. Way better than soft music and a fancy chair us style.


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