Well, Monday... it's you and me again. I can't say I really like you all that much as you take away my two favourite days, Saturday and Sunday. But it is what it is...
I feel like I was able to tap in a little closer to my husband this weekend (not that it's difficult - he's incredibly easy to talk to).
Sometimes alcohol helps you open up and express those nagging feelings... for me especially because I tend to overanalyze things to the most granular detail. Alcohol just helps these thoughts flow a little free-er....
I am learning that marriage brings about this completely different level of communication and understanding and acceptance. I learned this weekend that he has a clear cut impression of what our communication style should be like - totally honest, totally open, and able to talk about everything, even the awkward stuff (or maybe especially the awkward stuff??) ;) Everybody wants that - but can everybody put aside their own self awareness to actually implement this? Especially when it means you need to be able to accept this level of brute honesty, which I know could easily be misinterpreted as criticsm.
I think it's beautiful. What an amazing concept - that you can be your complete true self with your partner and not feel judged. That you have these insecure, seemingly idiotic feelings and tendencies, and it's ok. Your partner tells you you're allowed to have them and even better, tells you they want to hear about them (and actually means that). This is a totally rare form of existence in my experience. It sure does help me get my fears off my chest though... and I truly appreciate and need that in my partner!
On another note, why is the paperwork for Brazilians to become landed immigrants to Canada SO UNBELIEVELY IMPOSSIBLE?? Wow... it's like, another level of impossible. We are expected to provide pretty intimate details of our wedding, who attended, what it was like, where it was... we even need to talk about who proposed, how they did it, where, why, what etc. It's like they want to see pictures of us consumating just to prove that we're legit. Haha, I think we should actually do that - throw in a couple of X-rated photographs JUST IN CASE... just to cover all angles. haha...
Anyway, feeling pretty happy right now! Lots of things to do before we go but we are also pretty booked up for the next couple months which will make the time go by so fast I'm sure... so many mixed emotions! Ahh!!!
One more thing I feel happy about - that amongst all of this madness, in my head and otherwise, I feel completely totally safe, like nothing bad is going to happen. :)
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