Botafogo Baby

AAaaaahhhhhh!!! (Imagine it's angels singing that heavenly note when something magical appears out of nowhere ... 'aaaaaahhhhhh')

HALLELUJAH!  I. HAVE. ARRIVED!

I'm writing this blog from my new couch in my new apartment in my new neighbourhood - BOTAFOGO Y'ALL!

Life is like, spectacularly good.  I'm serious.  Is it even possible that my mood can change so drastically that I can now actually understand WHY people like this city?  Because I do. 

This morning I woke up at a completely reasonable hour, laced up my running shoes and went for the most beautiful run I've (ever?) been on.... It was really really lovely.  I'm running on Praia de Botafogo (Botafogo beach) and in one direction, I'm looking at the Pão de Açúcar and in the opposite direction I'm staring directly at the Cristo statue.  Surrounded by warm sun, calm water and moutains?  Are you kidding me??

We've been here since Thursday and life is feeling completely different already.  Gah, it's impossible to explain how peaceful I feel. 

That could also be a combo of acupuncture and psychologist working (which I found, by the way!)  But I'll save those for a future blog.  Just a little check in for today!

I Heart My Bike

Inspired by Danielle's blog about her quest for an appropriate gym, I thought I'd share some of the exercise in which I've been partaking. 

I won't even bother with the details of our gym search in our new place in Jacarepagua (like how one gym doesn't even LET you do several necessary exercises, or how one gyms equipment was practically falling apart and ripping the skin from my thighs).  No, I will not bother with that.

We did find a gym that is pretty good.  We're happy enough (even though they close on Sundays, blast!).  It's decent. 

But sometimes it's hard to go... Y'know we're tired after work, I'm too fat and lazy... blah blah blah!  We were also pretty used to getting around via bicicleta in Canada so we bought ourselves some bikes to make the trip to the gym easier (irony???) and just to generally get around. 

Lately, Ro took it upon himself to be CRAZY and start biking to work.  When I say crazy, I mean really out of his mind.  It's about a 16 km ride each way.  Throw in there a day of work and you got yourself one crazy mo-fo.  So, logically, I was jealous (as I usually am when he starts doing more exercise than me).  I got myself so jealous-ed up that I decided "Fine!  You wanna ride to work?  I'M gonna ride to work!"  Right.  Totally logical and sane and not at all obsessively competitive. 

So today was my first bike ride to work.  It's definitely less distance but still about 10-11 km each way.  My class starts at 7am which meant leaving the house at 6am.  I had my bag packed... my little flat shoes and cardigan tucked inside, my music ready, a towel to absorb all the buckets of sweat sure to come out of my face and armpits and probably butt. 
Oh shush, you know your butts get sweaty.  Try sitting down after a workout and see if there's not a sweat stain on that seat.  If there isn't, you didn't work hard enough!

Ahem.  Pardon me.  So I ride.  And about 30 seconds in I ride over some glass!  Then I think the tire is leaking air.  It didn't look that flat before, did it?  I panic.  I almost actually just give up, right there, after 30 seconds.  The fastest give up ever!  I call Ro.  He tells me to put air in the tire.  I whine I've never put air in the tire before!  He says it's ridiculously easy.  I whine, maybe to you, you've done it before! 
(P.S.  It IS ridiculously easy... perhaps the one thing that Brazil has that is far easier than N. America!) 

Moving on.  I figured out how to put the air and I'm happy again.  I ride.  As I ride, I pass many men who are on there way to work.  I laugh at how 'prepared' I am for this bike ride and how these guys are biking in flip flops and bent up tires.  Seriously bent up.  Every guy I pass looks at me and about half of them ding their wimpy little bells and kiss at me.  Brrrring brrrrrring!  One guy passes wearing a drywall mask and a towel on his head and gives me a long, heart-felt brrrrrrrrring!  How did he know that paper-masked men ringing bicycle bells are what really get me excited???  I was feeling preeeeetty confident after that one!

When I finally arrive at my students' office, I am literally a hot, sweaty mess.  But the trip took longer than I thought so I had to run in without a chance to rinse off.  After sitting in a plastic chair for an hour in the same pants I rode in in... what do you think I left behind?  A big, embarrassing, sweaty butt mark! 

But I did feel pretty freaking awesome so I'm afraid my student will have to endure my sweatiness... at least once a week. 

Moral of the story. 
Biking is...
good for your soul
good for your legs
good for the environment
good for your stress

Biking is...
bad for your butt (sweat)
bad for your students' chair
bad for your student in general
bad for your ego (or do I mean good? wink wink)

Moral of the moral = Get a bike!

Big bootie, small boobies? You're good!

When I got to Brazil, it was observed (verbally) by many that I had "such big legs".  You may or may not remember a little term that Danielle invented called "Brazilian Honesty".  I have adopted this term for myself because it is oh-such-a-thing.  Anyway, on several separate occassions people have looked at my legs and actually exclaimed "Wow, you have such big legs!"

So, how would you react to that comment? 

Initially, obviously, I was a little insulted.  Not only do you NOT need to comment on my physical appearance, but you definitely do NOT need to highlight my flaws so dramatically!  I didn't say to you "Damn that is a gigantic ass!  No really, it is truly enormous... the biggest I've ever seen".  

Y'see, the thing is, if I HAD said that, the person to whom I was speaking would MOST LIKELY reply "oh my god thank you!  oh wow you're sooooo nice!"

Y'see my friends... contrary to our beauty ideals up in the snowy north and in the US of A... in Brazil the bigger your legs and ass, the better!  If I hadn't been so defensive all along, I'd have realized, like a smack in the face, that these people were COMPLIMENTING me. 

Ohhhhhhh!  I get it now. 

So when the saleslady in the dress store exclaims with enthusiasm "Wow, you have such nice big calves!" I have to understand that she is saying, "I would kill for calves (do we still pluralize like baby cows?) like those that barely fit into pant legs!"

And when my gay friend Joaozinho (yes, you Joaozinho) says one night "Oh. My. God. You have Such. Big. Legs!" I have to know he's saying "I'll protect you and pretend to be your boyfriend tonight cus the guys gon' go cah-razy!" 

You'll notice the way girls exercise at the gym too that generally about 80% of their workout is legs and ass, with probably about 60% of that chunk (pun inTENded) being ass-only.  I cried to Ro last night about it because I don't WANNA do that much ass at the gym!!  I don't like it!  It's hard!  But if I want a killer ass, well, I'd better hop to it. 

Also, as a final vote of confidence for my Big-Legged Beauties... the bigger the ass but the SMALLER the boobies is also a vote your way.  To be bottom-heavy/top-light is the way to go here, girls.  So if you felt/feel judged in the America to the North, please come take a trip down to Brazil.  I promise within 3 days of arriving your concerns about your fat ass and thighs will float right away, straight into a bikini and an ice cold beer!

Yoga in Brazil

I've always been a pretty big yoga-doer (I wouldn't go so far as to call myself a Yogi but hey, you feel free).  Trouble is, I haven't really found any serious yoga here that really appealed to me.  To be fair, I've only tried about 4 different classes.  But doing yoga in Brazil really made me realize something... 

Part of why I love yoga is the encouragement and language used to help you deepen your movements and breath.  And, well, yoga in Portuguese doesn't have quite the same effect!  Especially when I really don't know the specific yoga language in Port and I was constantly turning my head to see what everyone else was doing.  Little hard to relax like that. 

So I was a bit turned off of even finding a class here (that and the yoga at the gym was not at a convenient time for me).  I'm not so into pilates (and they have lots and lots of pilates here) so basically I just gave up on yoga.

Recently we joined the gym close to our house and I tried the yoga class there.  It was so totally against all yoga principals that I believe I actually stopped in the middle of the class with a look of pure horror and just stared at the seemingly sweet little instructor.  Seriously, I couldn't believe it.
She was acting as a drill sergeant, screaming out "encouragement", no flow, no focus on breathing, all show.  If you're interested in the principals of yoga, this is a good article.

So, it really got me thinking back to the yoga I enjoyed in the past.  The effects of yoga had been innumerable for me.  Physically and mentally I felt connected and strong.  I used to do this this ridiculously amazing video with my favourite yogi Eoin Finn.  You can find the video available for sale on amazon here.  Seriously, eez best maan.  Anyway, something had to be done about the lack of yoga in my life.

Unfortunately I left my copy of the video at home though so in a very non yoga way, I looked for some pirated videos.  I found one called Power Yoga with Rodney Yee, another great instructor.  Then I went and bought a yoga mat.  The brand I bought is called Body Up and I got it from the gym in New York Shopping in Barra.  It is AWEESOMMMMEEEEEE.  Like, I was ridiculously happy just because of this mat.  A little pricey at R$95 but it came with a case and it's a nice colour.  It has excellent grip and has the Om symbol at the top as a guide for your feet.

 

So the moral of this story.  Tonight I did my yoga class in my living room with my new mat.  Do you ever do an activity that makes you so happy that you just smile involuntarily all the way through?  It was just that good.  The only other two activities that make me do that are Zumba and Body Jam.

Finally, if you are interested in a yoga studio in Rio, I found this yoga network that mentions all of the studios associated with this Registered Yoga Association.  Here you go!

Have fun and namaste :)

Aaaaand I'm back

Well, blank page.  We meet again.

After a 3 week hiatus from writing (or reading) any blogs, I'm going to actively try to get a new one out there.  It's not going to be easy - actually lately the pressure to write has felt so high that it turned me off of blogging altogether.  I'm just saying.  Sometimes I need to take a moment and remember WHO I'm writing this for.

Me.

Now, I know it's naive - well, actually it's just plain stupid - to think that I'm writing this for myself knowing full well that people read it.  But the more lost I get in writing for other people, the more pressure I feel to keep turning out clever, funny, interesting blogs and then this turns into a job.  And I got a job.

Anyway, the whole point of starting a blog was to document my feelings and experiences in Brazil.  There.  I'm bringing it home.

To be honest, I am officially calling the last 3 weeks "The Three Weeks that I Hated Brazil and Wanted to Yell Right In People's Faces (In English) and Just Go Home Already" Period.  Yeah, that about sums up my feelings of the last 3 weeks.
Actually it's been quite a while since I've felt any real rage towards Brazil.  The beginning had a lot, a lot of frustration and not understanding things, culturally and language-wise.  Then there would be occasional bouts of rage that generally lasted a day or a weekend.  They usually fizzled out after some quality time talking to someone from home or with my Honey.  But the last 3 weeks have been one big giant rage.
I hate meeting new Brazilians during these periods because, like clockwork, they will undoubtedly ask me if I'm gostando de Brasil?  And my answer at that moment is, not really.  And then they are sad.  Hey, you asked.

Ok, I almost started to type out exactly what it is that I'm not liking but I am actively trying to get past these rage-y feelings and I felt them start to bubble up inside me as soon as I started to type.  So, I'm not going to share specifics but it's nothing that any of my fellow ex-pats haven't experienced at one point or another.  It's not a secret why I've been feeling frustration and loneliness.  In fact, I'm sure that it's pretty crystal clear.

ANYWAY.  Moving on.

There are certain things I've been doing to relax myself and cope with my emotions.  Here's my list of things I try to do when I'm feeling crappy.

1.  Get a weekly manicure/pedicure.  Find a place that you like.  Don't settle for a crappy place just because your Family says it's cheaper.  If your manicure is awesome and costs R$10 more, who f'ing cares.  And do it because YOU want to feel pretty and pampered, not because everyone else does it. (Even though they do)

2.  Work out.  Even though it might kill you when you are down in the dumps and you might complain the entire time, you'll feel better later.   I can't say I've been doing really well at point #2 lately so if you're not feeling it, go directly to point #3.  

3.  Eat.  Nothing some good chocolate can't cure. Or chips. Or baking cookies/brownies.  Or pizza.

4.  Drink.  Alcohol, that is.  Yeah yeah, so they say it's a depressant.  Shut up.  I'm depressed and I want to get drunk.

5.  Get out of the house and buy something.  Go on.  You know you'll feel better if you have some new candles for the bedroom, or that shirt/belt/television you can't afford.  Whatever thing you like to buy that always makes you feel better for the rest of the day, go and buy it.

6.  Sleep.  So you want to sleep until 4 or 5 pm?  I say, fine by me.  I realize that this option isn't available to everyone but if it's an option for you, go ahead and indulge.

7.  Download all of the seasons of *insert favourite show here* and watch them all.  In one day.  I am currently on Season 6 of Sex and the City.  Past favourites include How I Met Your Mother, The Office, Glee, Breaking Bad and Friends.

So while the items on my list of helpful coping mechanisms don't actually make you productive, healthy or get you out of your slump, they do just what they intend to do.  Help you cope.
Sometimes being social (especially because you have to speak Portuguese) is even worse.  Sometimes it's good.  Depends on how good your Portuguese is (or their English). 

But as well as I know myself, I know that this slumpy period will pass.  It's just taking a little longer this time.  For now, I'm going to implement a little #2 followed by a #7 which may be later followed by a little #3 and #4.  We'll see how I feel.

nothing better than a little exercise

So, in amongst all of the moving and tripping to SP, Ro and I haven't really been working out.  And by haven't really, I mean not at all.  For 3 weeks.  For those of you who know us, you know this is a millennium.  We are regular exercisers (and by definition, GoodLife definition at least, regular exercisers have been exercising at least 3 times per week consistently for at least 6 months).  We typically go 4-5x per week.  First observation is how all of your hard work for months and months can go straight to shit after not working out for only 3 weeks!!!  Well, it may have had to do with all of the beer we've drinking, or all the eating out we were doing, or maybe the microwaved banana with sugar and cinnamon and ice cream on top... REGARDLESS.  It's time for us to get back on track.
The difficulty for us is that we are planning to travel very soon (as in next week, we think??) so we don't want to pay for a gym membership and have it get wasted.  The gyms here are a little expensive.  They basically cost as much as my Platinum Plus gym cost without the perks and benefits and fanciness.  And now that we have the beach next to us.....
What better way to get back into things than to start running again by the beach!
This morning we woke up at 7:30 (ok 8 by the time we levantado).  Had a quick breakfast, got dressed and left to run.  The beach has a nice bike/run path right at the top and wasn't too busy when we arrived.  There was also a great breeze thankfully because I have a really hard time running in the heat and I also have a tough time running outside here.  The air is different.  So we ran for about 30 minutes but truthfully I was dying.  I feel out of shape here, which disappoints me so much because I don't think I AM out of shape, I just can't BREATHE in the air here.  I really struggled to finish but had a mid-run revelation of jumping into the ocean after we finished.  Suggestion accepted.  Luckily, with the beach having pretty few people still, we asked if we could leave our shoes with a couple who had beat the crowd and ran to the water with our gym clothes on.
Now, for another story, I'm oddly a little scared of the ocean.  This fear only developed after being in Brazil, however, when one day the ocean kicked the crap out of me.  The waves are so big here, the biggest I've ever seen, and they are ANGRY.  The undertow is insane and will surely pull you under to die a slow, painful death.  SO anyway (you are all seeing how much I love the beach, right?).  Haha. Anyway, the story of that day is I went into the ocean just for a little bit... just up to my knees... when all of a sudden, I saw it.  The Mother Wave.  Coming straight for me.  It was definitely taller than me and as I stood there with the undertow pulling me right FOR it, it broke, right on my FACE, and THREW me backwards and PUSHED ME on my BACK all the way up the shore.  So when I got out, I was completely discombobulated, sandy, and yes, my breast had fallen totally out of my bathing suit.  That damn wave took advantage of me!  And as I was giving the beach a show, and as waves continue to hit me over and over, my bathing suit bottom became a little askew, thus exposing my va-j-j.  Say it with me now.  VA-J-J.
So, there is Ro, laughing his head off, trying to warn me of my exposed privates, as I stumble onto the shore.  Then, through his increasing laughter, he says, "your head is FULL of sand!"
Here is what the beach did to me that day:

So you can see why I was feeling a little apprehensive to enter the ocean again today.  BUT, I felt a little more secure knowing my clothes weren't going anywhere, and like a small child I held  Ro's hand and went in again.  Today it was DELICISOSO as the Brazilians would say, and I even put my head under when the waves came!  Today was just what we both needed to feel awesome.
I seriously believe, scratch that, I seriously KNOW that exercise improves your mood.  Exercise makes you feel GOOD.  Exercise gives you ENERGY.  Last night Ro and I both felt depressed and we didn't know why.  Today we feel awesome, we feel productive, we feel positive!  The last few days for me have been a little homesicky for things that are familiar.  Today I seriously feel better and it's all thanks to EXERCISE!

Oh my god, I just picked up my shorts and some sort of black insect fell out of them and ran under the tv stand!!! ACCCCKKKKKK!! no idea what that was! I'm actually seeing less insects here than I originally expected... My first encounter was with a dead cockroach on the sidewalk. I screamed when i saw it, but more for effect rather than out of true fear. It was enormous though. The next time I saw a cockroach it was alive and on the sidewalk and this time I screamed with a little more genuity. Damn, those roaches are quick! Today, at the gym, Debora and I saw a big dragon fly fluttering around in the light fixture... that is something you definitely would not see at a GoodLife! haha, you also wouldn't see women wearing one-piece, ass-eating, tit-baring, multi-coloured "workout clothes" but here you see it alllll the time. Especially the style with the low back that points down right to the ass. I have seen more ass here than ever before, that's for sure.

I will also detail a little further what the gyms are like here in Rio.

Gym Staff: There are usually, at one time, at least 50 people working in the gym. Around 3 girls at the front desk (where you scan yourself in using your thumbprint). There are a couple of girls working in the small fenced off area that is the child minding zone, where I've only seen kids playing video game soccer all the time. Then, you'll have your array of fitness instructors (who I have witnessed show up for class 15 minutes late, not apologize, and still end the class on the scheduled time). There is a pool at this gym so there are generally 3 or 4 swimming instructors. Cleaning staff generally totals around 3 or 4 people and then upstairs you have your 'instructors'. These are essentially trainers, and there are usually around 10 of them working at once, whose job it is to walk around the floor helping people with their workouts, spotting, creating exercises etc etc. This is the one aspect of the gym I really didn't like in the beginning. I was already feeling pressured to learn my way around the equipment, deciding what exercises I wanted to do, and on top of it countless instructors were approaching me speaking quickly in Portuguese, and to each of them me replying "Eu nao falo Portugues!!!" Pass it on.

Gym Etiquette: It is the general etiquette of the gym to accept the help of the trainers. But we still don't. Also, kind of boring stuff is when you use the tiny black floor mats you take one from the top and then put your dirty one on the bottom. Also, you don't need to wipe down the equipment. Actually, we later learned, people will laugh at you if you do. So we got laughed at.

Gym Fashion: Saved the best for last! Aha. I want to take a picture so you can really see the gym fashion for yourself. This is not an exaggeration. First, as I mentioned in a previous post, earrings. Always. Big, hoopy, dangly whatever, just wear 'em. Hair - long and down. The longer and more down the better. And if you plan to wear it up, it's going to just be tied in a low, loose ponytail and held back with a big 'ol scrunchie. Remember scrunchies? Clothing - baggy-ish shirt usually low cut. Tight, cycle-short style shorts ALWAYS lighter than the shirt ALWAYS with huge swirly multi coloured patterns ALWAYS going up the bum. ALWAYS ALWAYS paired with wooly socks that make it up to about halfway up the calf. Ahahaha. Oh man it is hilarious. But then again, this crazy style makes me look like a boring man with my mostly black clothes, hair always up in a bun and kinda muscly. I probably look like a weirdo to them too.

The one class I really miss here is.... ACTUALLY it's a test. People, I'm putting it to you! What class do I LOVE more than anything??? (Hint: I did it every Friday...) Well, they don't have that glorious class here! DAMN I will just have to learn how to Samba! ;)

TCHAU!