Breaking News

Sometimes things are so unbelievably new and exciting that I can't talk about them here.  Primarily, because it's important that I talk to my family about these novidades in person, so they don't have to find out about them in digital ink.  
So, two months since my last blog.  And in the last two months my life has taken on a completely new direction.  My apologies for anyone who was missing my blogs - I was! - but now that I've talked about everything with our families I can finally go back to putting my thoughts on this hypothetical page.

So, the big news is I'm pregnant!  Three months pregnant, to be exact.  Turns out that I was already pregnant during Carnaval (albeit only, like, a week - but still... whoops!) Went out with a bang there...

I find it strange that almost every Brazilian person I tell about my pregnancy follows up directly with "Was it planned?"  Pardon?  Was it planned?  What an oddly personal question that does not go against my expectations of Brazilian culture at all.  So, ok, yes it was planned.  And if it wasn't?  Would I get a look of pity??  I might start saying it wasn't, just as an experiment.

I also have to add an aside here:  I know NOTHING about babies, pregnancy, giving birth, normal reactions towards pregnant women, etc., etc.... so if I am slightly shocked by some of these 'oddities' but you think they are apparently normal, please feel free to enlighten me.  I'm really only basing things on how I would react to a pregnant woman.  Not that I have even personally known that many, so therein lies the problem (probably).

The next thing that people almost automatically do is touch my belly.  It's like being pregnant automatically removes your 'personal space shield' and it's a free-for-all for anyone who wants to touch you.  I'm not sure how I feel about this.  On one hand it's kind of comforting, on the other hand my inner conscious screams "STOP! THIS IS MY BODY! I AM MORE THAN A GIANT BELLY!"  But people would probably disagree with that so it's best to just let it happen.

So, as I said, I'm totally dumb about pregnancy.  I've never had a close friend have a baby, never even a family member whose pregnancy I got to experience.  I think the last time I even held a baby was when I was about 10 years old.  So, there are some things happening to me that I didn't know to expect...

1. INSANE EXHAUSTION.  Holy freaking hell.  I was so so tired during the first 3 months that I slept at every possible opportunity (and I'm talking for like 3-4 hours, and that was AFTER sleeping 8-10 hours at night).  Another reason I stopped blogging. 

2. INSANE HOT FLASHES.  Meaning the 'flash' lasted all day, everyday.  I was never not sweating like a fat, sweaty man and add to it that Rio has been going through a giant disgusting heat wave for the last 2 months.  I was in my own personal hell and thank god that part is over.  

3. HORRIBLE HEADACHES.  I am having what the doctor (and by doctor, I mean Internet) calls "tension headaches".  They squeeze my head on the sides and leave me feeling totally debilitated.  To make it worse, I can't take any medicine while preggers.  (Also didn't know that I couldn't take over-the-counter medicine... ugggh)

4. MY BODY IS LITERALLY WIDENING.  Yes, Danielle.  LITERALLY.  I noticed it about 3 weeks ago that the circumference of my hips was actually broader.  My husband noticed too (he was totally more excited that I was).  Oh, and thanks to that my pants don't fit anymore.

5. WILD, CRAZY DREAMS.  I repeat, wild, CRAZY, dreams.  Vivid.  Allllllllllll about pregnancy, giving birth, breast feeding, my relationship with my mom and my dad... and are we seeing a theme here? 

6. HAIR GROWTH.  Oh, yes.  We've heard the stories that pregnancy gives you a beautiful head of hair.  I guess they conveniently forgot to mention that the hair grows EVERYWHERE else too.  Even my eyebrows are growing faster than normal.  And where I could usually go 5-6 weeks between waxing, now I'm an every month kinda girl.  (Not that I am going anymore anyway!  It's waaaay too sensitive down there!)  (P.S. Before you say ok TMI Lindsey, I have vowed to give as much information about this pregnancy to spare others from being surprised like I have been!)

7. DOUBTS.  For me, there has also been some guilt because I started to doubt if I was really ready for a baby, ready to be a mother, etc etc.  I guess it's normal, but there is this expectation for women to be SO thrilled and overjoyed all the time at the idea of being pregnant.  Throw some raging hormones into the mix and you're not always so confident in your decision...

For now those have been the biggest mysteries unfolded.  I'm preeetty sure there will be many more fun surprises and I caannnn't wait! (there is a great need for a sarcasm font!)  The good news is, I'm back!

How will you be spending YOUR Christmas?

Ahhh... and so ends my crazy week from hell.  I guess it wasn't really that bad - I just lack the vocabulary to describe it any other more creative way.  I'mma tired.

Since most of my students are taking the last week of December off, I smushed them all into the first couple of weeks of this month so I wouldn't lose the money they would stay consistent.  Word to the wise, Teachers.  You should always insist on rescheduling (by not giving an option!) when there is a holiday.  "Oh, it's a holiday?  Well let's do that class the Wednesday before, then."  FECHADO!

Joking aside, it really is better for your students to stay consistent.

The end of the teaching week means that Christmas has arrived!!!  My first Christmas here was, well, shitty.  We had just arrived in Brazil and I couldn't get over a Christmas with palm trees, celebrated on December 24, with an Amigo Oculto (Secret Santa) gift exchange ONLY, and rice served with my turkey.  I couldn't accept that I was drinking beer, sweating my butt off in shorts and a tank top, and listening to Christmas carols in Portuguese.  It wasn't fair that there was no Santa, no stockings, and no snow.  

I thought, "This is NOT Christmas.  These people don't even know what Christmas is."

Then last year, I went home last-minute because I couldn't handle the thought of another unfamiliar and lonely Christmas.  But my husband couldn't come with me.  And the normal location of our Christmas changed due to the death of my uncle.  So Christmas at 'home' wasn't like any Christmas I as used to, aside from the snow, stockings and Santa (and my wonderful family, of course!).

But it was then that I realized that Christmas could, and would, be different now that I was married, had gained a family, lost some family and shared my life with someone else (and in another country to boot!).  It was a good opportunity to start new traditions and create 'our own' traditions (I'm pretty big on traditions).

This year my therapist really brought it home for me by explaining that Christmas, for many people, is the biggest event of the year because it's the time that we like to 'reflect and connect'.  It's a time to look inside ourselves, evaluate our years, and connect with all the most important people in our lives.  When it's 1000 degrees outside, it's not so easy to come by that 'warm, cozy' feeling - instead, you have more of that 'sweltering, crazy' feeling.  But despite the haze of heat, we foreigners have to summon the 'feeling' of Christmas and re-create it in way that lets us tap into the real reason we love this holiday.  Food, Family and the Joy of Sharing, Giving, and Receiving.  And that can be done just about anywhere!

My advice if you're feeling sad this Christmas?  Try to repeat at least one of the most important traditions you and your family have shared in the past.  Mine is stockings on Christmas morning and opening our gifts one gift and one person at a time.  We're also going to make North American Breakfast on Christmas morning.

But we're also going to have Brazilian Christmas on the 24th!  The key is to combine the best of both worlds and create new traditions that make everyone remember the reason for the season!  (P.S. This is the time of year my Brazilian sappiness really comes out!)

Christmas just isn't Christmas without some cats wearing Santa hats...

So Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah or whatever tradition it is that you like to celebrate!  Here in Brazil, we'll be opening stockings on Christmas morning and going to the beach in the afternoon!  It's a crazy life...

Feel like an ass in Brazil? Read this post.

I felt inspired by Rachel's post today about life in paradise not always being easy.  Many of the commenters were relatively new foreigners living in Brazil and their stories of their struggles brought me right back to my first months (ok, year and a half) here as well (even though I still feel like I'm new and I've been here almost 2 years, crazy).

Some of my old posts were a liiiiiiiiitle depressed and frankly, depressing.

Looking back on all my whining, bitching and cries for help whining, bitching and cries for help (not a typo), I'm impressed at how much things have changed for me.  Rachel said that she was being a big baby in the beginning - I was a giant baby too, but at the same time I don't know if I would have been able to do it any differently...

Anyone out there who is new to Brazil or thinking about coming - the biggest challenge in moving to another country (and it could be any country) is that usually you are dealing with a million new things at the same time.  Language, culture, social norms (like how to eat/not eat in public), lack of friends, lack of knowing the city, and in many cases a completely new marriage or baby as well.

Word to the wise, your inevitable psychological breakdown in your new country is not the country's fault (although, it definitely feels like it is).  It's not even necessarily the fault of your specific situation in Brazil.  It all comes down to you and how you deal with these firey demon-balls you are faced with.  
How many times can you face defeat, frustration, or conflict and still get back up and do it again?  Don't be fooled into thinking that crap is constantly falling on your head just because you live in a foreign country.  Even at home in your own country you feel the stress of your job, your friends, your housing situation, your new marriage/relationship/baby or whatever.  The common denomonator in all of this is you and your attitude will ultimately determine your success or lack thereof.

The other peice of advice I have is RELAX.  Seriously, sometimes you need to just go with it and accept that you're going to feel like a 3 year old in an adult's body learning how to speak for the first time.  News flash.  You are a 3 year old in an adult's body learning how to speak for the first time!

If you're totally frustrated because your umbrella poked an old lady in the eye and you couldn't apologize because your Portuguese wasn't at that level yet, that's ok.  Feel shitty about it, and then learn from that situation.  Practice saying "ahh desculpa!  Peço mil desculpas!" 1000 times until you've got it down.  Feeling like an ass is the best way to learn how NOT to speak Portuguese.

And finally, speaking Portuguese is the best way to learn how NOT to feel like an ass!  www.livemocha.com is a great free site to get you started.  

You can dooooo it!

I've got the 'gripe'

Sick, sick, sick.... It's terrible to be sick.  It's great if you're faking it to get a day off work but as usual, karma bites you in the ass and then you really get sick.  I don't know what I have exactly but anyone in Brazil will tell you that if you're sick, you've got gripe.  Technially it means flu, and I could have the flu in this case, but even if I just had a sore throat, or a sniffle, I've got the gripe.  To me, it sounds like I've got the clap.

Side Note****In case that sentence wasn't 100% clear, I do NOT have the clap.  I just think that I've got gripe sounds like I've got the clap....

One thing I miss about Canada is being sick.  'Say what??', you ask?  It's true.  In Canada (with its mostly uninhabitable plains, where people live in ice and snow year round*) it's really common to get all kinds of sicknesses.  They come in with the chinook winds**.  But this means the pharmacy is always stocked up with all kinds of cold and flu medicine.  With CLEAR images and descriptions on the box to verify if what you got is what this medicine will cure.

Brazil doesn't have the same cold-and-flu season popularity as Canada does, so when I walk into the pharamacy it generally takes me a long time to figure out what I HAVE first, then I can decide what I need.  It doesn't help that, to me, Brazilian medicine all looks exactly the same.

What I have found in terms of over-the-counter medicine is that they generally will treat cold & flu symptoms like:
Runny nose: Coriza
Fever: Febre
Nasal congestion: Congestão nasal 
Headache: Cefaléia
Body Pain: Dores Musculares

Ok, that's fine.  But every single over-the-counter med does the exact same thing.  Where's my all in one medicine for a sinus and chest cold?  Or, in my specific case this time, sinus and sore throat?  In Canada they got this covered.  But I guess the common cold is to Canada what dengue is to Brazil?  I'd like to see them come up with a quick diagnosis for dengue in Canada.

As a final observation - something that is very common, potentially dangerous, but at times super convenient - is the ability to buy prescription medication from the pharmacist without a prescription.  For me, this was kind of awesome because I have always suffered from terrible sore throats.  I always visit the doctor during these episodes and they always prescribe me amoxcicillin.  I've had them so many times that I can completely tell when one is coming on and how bad it's going to get.  It's pretty handy to just walk into the pharmacy and ask for my amoxcicillin without going through the hassle of visiting the doctor's office.

Now, I know that I takes my meds responsibly and I take them until the end.  I can't speak for the rest but I can definitely take a guess that this generally isn't true for many others.  Now they are really tryin to crack down on prescription meds only with prescription.  Hell, we even tried to buy some last night and we got rejected.  Now I'll have to find a rogue pharmacist who can support my habit - er - my basic needs.

Probably won't be so difficult.  We are in Rio after all!

Getting a Manicure in Brazil

Just got back from one of the most aggressive manicures I've ever had here in Rio.  Manicures are a very interesting experience.  Nothing like your tender, relaxing manicure from home (at least in my experiences they have always been a relaxing experience).  That's not to say you can't find that kind of experience here too, but when you enter into the salon that says "Mão e Pé: R$20" you know you're not going to get the tender relaxing experience.

You're gonna get the 'let's do this as fast as possible so we can push more people through the salon' experience.

My toes are burning!  Bitch cut my skin off!  Lol, sorry for the foul language, but really.  That was one of the sloppiest mani/pedis I've ever had.  She really went to work.

A little advice if you're going for your first (or millionth) time, I really really stress that you need to keep a completely open mind.  In the beginning, it will seem like a giant mess.  Plus, everyone does it a little differently.  They really go to work hacking off any little tiny speck of cuticle (even the invisible specks) causing you to bleed occasionally (and then they put some sort of anti-bleeding foam on the wound).  You can see they are prepared for bleeders.  They don't always put your hands and toes in water.  Especially at these 20 dolla places, they usually just spray your tips and put a glove on you.  Haha.  Even as I write this I can't believe how cheap it sounds.

After you've gone through the wet, cut, and file period, they SLLLOPPP on the nail polish of your choice.  Whatever colour you want.  Slopped right on there.  Everywhere.  Then they sllloppp another coat over top of that.  Next they remove nailpolish at the tip of the nail with their thumb, leaving an ugly little white line at the top, sort of like a french manicure but ugly.  Next they remove their messy work using a pointy little stick and some cotton and polish remover.  Seems a little backwards, but ok.  I don't see why you didn't just put it on neatly in the first place, but alright.  Finally, a little oil to dry you up quick and pull the whole thing together.

This was my first impression of manicures here.  Now.  Funny story.  I went back to Canada last Christmas, if you recall, and had a manicure there.  Guys.  It was terrible.  I see the benefit to slopping on the polish.  That way you cover the whole nail.  I see the benefit to massacring my cuticle.  My hand looks so light and skinny after.  I see why you leave that ugly little line.  It helps keep my nail polish from chipping!  The oily substance in the end really does dry the polish faster.

So all in all, my verdict for best manicure goes to BRAZIL!  I guess once you go bloody massacre, you never go back.

Cutting your Hair in Brazil

If you came to this post looking for some helpful tips on how to find a good hairdresser or useful vocabulary to help you with cutting your hair while in Brazil, move it along.  You ain't gonna find anything helpful here.  In fact, if you HAVE helpful tips or useful vocab, PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD post them in the comments!

It's taken me 2 years trying to find a good hairdresser, trying to build up some helpful vocab, trying to show pictures and explain (at least with actions) what I want.  I've never gone back to the same hairdresser twice.  I've gone back for a re-cut about 5 of the 7 times I've had my hair cut.  I've cried afterwards 4 of the 7 times.  It has been truly traumatizing for me to find a hairdresser.

I think it all started when I was about 8 years old and my mom took me to her hairdresser, a bald European man named Ram.  I cried after that cut because "I looked like a lion and I didn't want to look like a lion".  Damn beautiful mane.  There began my complex.  

The problem is that I have such a SPECIFIC idea in my mind, that no other cut can live up to what I am imagining.  Trust me, I have done serious research so that I can explain accurately the tool needed for some effect, or how high my layering should start (in English, of course).  I am a freak, I know it.  I just wish I could cut my own hair.  Oh, ps.  I've gone home and cut my own hair MYSELF all 7 times I've had my hair cut in Brazil. 

So hair cutting time arrived again yesterday.  I looked for lots of pictures online because this time I was getting a drastic cut.  This time I was going short.  I've had short(ish) hair all my life - I like it better on me and I think it looks way more modern and cool.  This long hair business in Brazil was overwhelming (see: about 80% of women have long long LONG hair).  I tried to grow it just to fit in a bit better.  In fact I've been growing it out for the last year.  But I've been getting sick of long hair.  It's just not me.

So yesterday I went to the salon.

I have this idea that more expensive is better - I don't know if it's necessarily true but I want to believe that they are more experienced or it's more difficult to get into the fancy salons.  I went to a pretty big chain here called Werner's (tip: It's 10% cheaper if you go Monday-thursday and it's 10% more on that if you pay in cash.  But it still costs freaking R$62 after all those discounts.  Ugh).

Fast forward to the end of the cut.  I didn't like it (obviously) but I asked him to fix up a few parts here and there.  Problem is, my vocab is limited to "Eu queria que ele ficar mais curto aqui, Nao queria tao comprido.  Pode usar aquela coisinha (make action of a razer slicing) para cortar este parte aqui?  Na verdade, eu queria mais (make action of different levels in my head implying layers)".  So you see, it's the filler parts , the most important parts, that I have trouble with.

So at home, I started to hate the cut.  That and my husband didn't react with a lot of excitement, so then of course I was in a bad mood for the rest of the night.  I decided to go back today.

I hate going back because they always look pissed off, like I interrupted his lunch (which I probably did since I went in at noon).  The guy said "Fala" when he saw me, so abruptly so I abrubtly said "I don't like it anymore".  Haha, blunt gets blunt!

This time we sat down at the chair and he spent another hour with me trying to decipher my made-up language.  This time, I told him the name of the hair cut I wanted.  Lucky me, he recognized it.  (Tip: LEARN THE NAME OF THE STYLE YOU LIKE!  ASK YOUR HAIRDRESSER BEFORE COMING TO BRAZIL SO YOU CAN TELL THE HAIRDRESSER HERE THE NAME OF THE CUT.  Sometimes they know, sometimes they don't, but it's helpful).

So without further ado, here is a before (a few months ago) and after of my new hair cut!

 Am I cute?

It is NOT cheap to live in Brazil

Today's post is brought to you by the letter F.  F-RUSTRATED.  Consider yourselves warned for a rant.

WHY?  This is my first question.  WHY is it so impossible to make a comfortable life in Brazil?  Ok.  That's a complete exaggeration.  I'm not 'uncomfortable' per say.  But I'm being completely cock-blocked by the Brazilian class system!

Why is it it that I don't have the option to live 'wherever I want to' in Rio?  I guess that's more accurate.  Ok, I don't want to live in a mansion with aquarium walls and butlers.  I just want to live in a neighborhood with culture and convenience.  I want to be able to walk to the supermarket EASILY.  I want to be able to catch ONE bus to work, not two or three.  I want to live less than 30 mins from downtown, ideally RIGHT downtown (right now we live about 2 hours from).  I want to live close to a bookstore.  I want to have a variety of restaurant options (not just rice and beans), possibly some places with live music (not just MPB).  Shit, I want to have a martini and I don't even drink martinis.

I live in a neighborhood that is classified as a "C" Class neighborhood, although that title was probably given by "A" Class citizens.  What's after "C" class?  I guess favelas... ?  It's not even the money, or lackthereof, that gets to me.  It's the lack of convenience and culture specifically.  It's like the affordable neighborhoods have been pushed and pushed away to the outskirts of society.

I have obviously been conditioned after spending 5 years living on my own in Toronto, but in Toronto all you have to do is choose.  And even the lower-end apartments are pretty awesome and are downtown.  I pay the same amount of money (in relation to my salary) living in Jacarepagua that I did living in a fully equipped condo, right downtown Toronto.

What I don't understand, and what I can't accept, is why there is so much class-ism in Rio.  Classes are divided in a disturbing way.  My husband and I work HARD and, in my opinion, do fairly well financially.  I have always lived very comfortably in the middle class, but even though my salary is similar to home, here I live in almost low class.  We have to choose housing that is so far away in the 'suburbs'.  We can't even afford to live in Barra, which again in my opinion, IS INSANELY OVERPRICED.  BARRA IS CRAP AND YOU NEED A CAR TO LIVE THERE.  WHY OH WHY WOULD PEOPLE BE CHARGING R$3000 A MONTH FOR A ONE BEDROOM IN BARRA DA TIJUCA??????  THERE IS NOTHING IN BARRA!!!!!

Living in Barra is the equivalent of living in Scarborough, across from Scarborough Town Centre.  Oh, awesome, you live near a mall. 

I am shaking my head.  It's infuriating how much of a glass ceiling exists in Brazil.  Today's apartment search made me hate Rio and the person who is responsible for making independent living so unattainable.  Congratulations Rio.  You live in a Stone Age.  An unequal opportunity Stone Age.

Today's post is also brought to you by the letter G.  Gah!!!!!

American Party

It's a complete coincidence that this post is falling on the 4th of July; it has nothing to do with America's Independence Day.  (First because I'm Canadian, and second because it's just not).

It IS about a concept that is new/strange/totally uncommon amongst Brazilians (at least in MY circle of Brazilians, before you Brazilian readers blow your socks off).  This concept is the POTLUCK party.

As the picture indicates, a Potluck party means that all guests need to bring a plate of food to share!  What an awesome concept, you say?  I KNOW!

However, when I presented the idea to our B-zilly poss, EVERYBODY'S HEADS EXPLODED.  I kid you not.  Nobody could really comprehend the idea.  "We have to BRING something?"  "We have to COOK it OURSELVES?"  "We can't just bring a bottle of wine??"  YES, YES AND NO!

Now, I understand that there are several possible reasons that this misunderstanding existed.

1. I was writing a Facebook Party Invitation in Portuguese.  Perhaps there was a little bit of language barrier.  But even after I seeked the help of a Brazilian friend who wrote the actual message for me, we were still met with confusion.
2. I was trying to describe the party, calling it a Potluck.  I didn't realize there is already a name for this party.  It's called an American Party.  Go figure.
3. This was a birthday party.  In Brazil, you do not bring anything (minus a gift - which is always a tshirt???) to a birthday party.  It's fine to bring food to a Festa Junina.  But a birthday party, no.  Usually birthday parties are at a restaurant, or they're catered, or feature a full pizza rodizio, or maybe MAYBE the host will prepare the food, but asking people to bring food has quite possibly never ever happened in the History of Birthday Parties in Brazil.  Ever.  (Based on complete non-fact).
4. Finally, once everyone seemed to understood the concept of a Potluck, they could not understand why they had to physcially make the dish themselves.  This was by far the most challenging aspect.  I was met with 'I have no idea what to cook", "I don't know how to cook!", and "I'll ask my mom to cook something."  Crazy!!!!

With all do respect to my crazy, lovable, Brazilian peeps, I know things are different here.  That being said, after all of the confusion, everybody managed to come up with something totally awesome and creative to bring and the result was a table FULL of delicious home-cooked food to share!

And of course, we provided all the drinks, including a full make-your-own caipirinha station.  That's how the Potluck works!  

Woohoo!  I did it!  Maybe this is the start of more Potlucks to come here in Brazil.  For us, parties at home are where it's at.  Here are a few of my tips on how to make your party more special (and cheap!).

• Create an event on Facebook and message your guests regularly.  You don't have to be annoying; just remind them and get them excited for the big event.  
• Decorate with unexpected surprises - for example, 10 balloons are cool but 100 balloons are stupidly cool!!!
• Stick to one colour (or two) for a classier look.  We went with green and silver and used streamer paper to put on the tables and then covered them in plastic for protection. 
• Rearrange the furniture to make sure people aren't separated from each other.  Or if they have to be, at least so there are distinct areas (we had a sit-down conversation circle and a games area)
• Expect that there will be spills and messes to clean up.  Have lots of paper towel ready.
• Make sure you have too much.  Too much alcohol.  Too much food.  Too many napkins.  Too many plates/forks/knives.  You never know how much people will want to indulge!
• You better make sure that music is pumpin'!  Make a great playlist that will keep going for a few hours so you don't start repeating. 

Happy Partying!  Oh, and P.S.  Happy Birthday to the love of my life!

Big bootie, small boobies? You're good!

When I got to Brazil, it was observed (verbally) by many that I had "such big legs".  You may or may not remember a little term that Danielle invented called "Brazilian Honesty".  I have adopted this term for myself because it is oh-such-a-thing.  Anyway, on several separate occassions people have looked at my legs and actually exclaimed "Wow, you have such big legs!"

So, how would you react to that comment? 

Initially, obviously, I was a little insulted.  Not only do you NOT need to comment on my physical appearance, but you definitely do NOT need to highlight my flaws so dramatically!  I didn't say to you "Damn that is a gigantic ass!  No really, it is truly enormous... the biggest I've ever seen".  

Y'see, the thing is, if I HAD said that, the person to whom I was speaking would MOST LIKELY reply "oh my god thank you!  oh wow you're sooooo nice!"

Y'see my friends... contrary to our beauty ideals up in the snowy north and in the US of A... in Brazil the bigger your legs and ass, the better!  If I hadn't been so defensive all along, I'd have realized, like a smack in the face, that these people were COMPLIMENTING me. 

Ohhhhhhh!  I get it now. 

So when the saleslady in the dress store exclaims with enthusiasm "Wow, you have such nice big calves!" I have to understand that she is saying, "I would kill for calves (do we still pluralize like baby cows?) like those that barely fit into pant legs!"

And when my gay friend Joaozinho (yes, you Joaozinho) says one night "Oh. My. God. You have Such. Big. Legs!" I have to know he's saying "I'll protect you and pretend to be your boyfriend tonight cus the guys gon' go cah-razy!" 

You'll notice the way girls exercise at the gym too that generally about 80% of their workout is legs and ass, with probably about 60% of that chunk (pun inTENded) being ass-only.  I cried to Ro last night about it because I don't WANNA do that much ass at the gym!!  I don't like it!  It's hard!  But if I want a killer ass, well, I'd better hop to it. 

Also, as a final vote of confidence for my Big-Legged Beauties... the bigger the ass but the SMALLER the boobies is also a vote your way.  To be bottom-heavy/top-light is the way to go here, girls.  So if you felt/feel judged in the America to the North, please come take a trip down to Brazil.  I promise within 3 days of arriving your concerns about your fat ass and thighs will float right away, straight into a bikini and an ice cold beer!

Things I would miss about Brazil

Well, I'm coming up on my one year anniversary in less than 2 weeks and, coincidently (or not), I'm also heading home for the holidays for the first time since we arrived.  All of this has got me really thinking about the things I'm now going to miss leaving Brazil in search for the things I was missing about Canada for the first, oh say, 11 months of being in Brazil.  (This last month those feelings have been dying out a little bit but that may have to do with the fact that I will soon be at home, eating me some curry and Thai food.)

So, some of the things I will and would miss about Brazil (it took me a little while to get to this place of appreciating things here enough to miss them):


1. Bakeries and fresh bread every single day.  Well, let's just stick to bakeries, plain and simple.  I love the bakery around the corner.  I can go have a nice little breakfast of suco da laranga and misto quente any time I want.  If I have a craving for a Twix, my little corner bakery has the fix!  (Rhyme not intentional but staying!)  If I want to have a beer, the bakery is near! (Now I'm having fun).  You can even do a little mini shopping at my little mini bakery.  Actually it's a giant bakery.

2. Drinking chopp.  Chopp is draught beer and it isn't draught beer at the same time.  It's its own special Brazilian version of draught beer.  So super cold and small enough that it stays that way until the end.  I don't think I can go back to pints. 

2b. Chopp anywhere, anytime.  Yep.  No joke.  Favourites would be quiosques (kiosks) by the beach, the little hole-in-the-wall bars in zona sul, or, as mentioned above, the bakery!


3. Body comfortability.  Ok, this one's a bit of a contradiction.  Cariocas (The Brazilians from Rio for anyone who didn't know that yet...) are ridiculous about their bodies.  I'm serious.  These people are working out in the gym for inhuman lengths of time and at least 8 times per week. 

On the flip side, if you go to the beach, you gots your crazies but you ALSO have your OTHER crazies.  The crazies who are totally comfortable with their bodies, albeit some may say they 'shouldn't be wearing something so small'.  Y'know what? It's given me a HEALTHY view of body acceptance and I LOVE Rio for that.  I see that everyone just lets it all hang out (for some that means more than others) and it's so refreshing to see that people are comfortable with themselves, regardless of media-invented images of beauty.

Ladies and Gentlemen, how many of you out there have TRULY accepted your body the way it is?  How many can say they TRULY love themselves and their bodies??  Not even me, but I'm really working on it and Rio is helping.

4. Ice cream!!  Some of the best ice cream is here!  Sooo good on a hot-ass day.  I've actually never eaten so much ice cream in my entire life put together as I have in my first year in Brazil.

5. Speaking Portuguese.  Ironic?  I will really miss speaking Portuguese.  Jesus, I worked so hard to get my Portuguese down, I don't want to lose it!  Learning a language is hard folks!  If you already learned it once, don't screw yourself over by forcing yourself to learn it again.  So grateful for my Brazilian other half!  I's lucky.

6. The Beach.  Did I actually say that?  Ok, so it's no secret that I'm not a giant fan of going to sit in the sand for hours on end, but I do like running and biking by the beach, drinking coconut water at the beach, and sitting in a quiosque on a Saturday afternoon listening to the families come out to drink and shoot the shit.  Also, I love to watch these guys working on their tan.

7. People Selling Shit Everywhere.  Although I don't really buy stuff from the vendors very often, I'm not opposed and it's nice to know that if I needed something, it's right there.  I love the guys who jump on their bus selling "jujubes um real, amendoim um real, chiclete 3 por um real, paçoca um real" and I love how the bus drivers let them on for free until they get to their stop.  Nice camaraderie!  It's nice to see that there are jobs for many people, even if they aren't the most ideal or appealing. 

So, Brazil, at the end of one year, there are things I can truly say I am enjoying about you.  I've met some great people here, I've discovered my career, I've learnt a new language and I've spent a lot of time with myself reflecting (and now I know I need to see a psychologist regularly 'just to talk')... but all good!  Looking forward to the next year!  But first.... home time!!!

Where To Go To the Bathroom in Rio de Janeiro

So, my line of work is full of movement.  Yes, I'm a teacher.  But I'm essentially a private teacher.  This means that I am all over the city travelling to my students place of business or home.

When doing this you have to be smart about how to schedule your classes.  There's nothing worse than having to go to Flamengo for noon, then boot it all the way to Ipanema for 1:30 and back up to Centro for a 3 pm class.  No sir, that is asking for stress, and stress I want none of.

So I group my classes and plan them so that I'm in Ipanema during this time, Flamengo this time, Centro this time.  You want a class? You gotta make it work in these times.  And usually they do!  This is also the power of the native teacher in a foreign country... :)

Now, hot Rio weather = me drinking tons of water (or at least trying to).  And you all learned a long time ago what happens when you drink a lot of water.  That's right.  Every hour.

Usually I can use the bathrooms in the offices I work at, but sometimes (and at some student's houses) it's not exactly appropriate or offered to me so I need to go in search of a bathroom on the street.  This can be a little tricky because public bathrooms here aren't exactly in optimal conditions.  Ie. piss all over the seat and floor, no toilet paper, no soap... I even once saw that someone had missed (???) the toilet entirely and crapped on the floor instead.  Clearly, they didn't see this sign:

I can totally imagine that situation.  The person is having one of those SERIOUSLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY situations.  They made it into the stall and facing the toilet started desperately jumping around, fumbling to unbutton and unzip their pants (and you know you can NEVER get it done smoothly - Smooth is Fast People!)
But the emergency would have been SO severe and SO uncontrollable that the poop just fell out of their butt before they had time to turn around and sit.  Then, they decided 'well, they have someone here that will clean up my poop so I'll just leave it for the poor foreign teacher to look at while she hovers about the toilet precariously, trying to avoid the other voided material surrounding her.'

GAAAAAASSSSSSSSPPPPPPP!

This is why I have developed a guide to help you and your loved ones on their quests -nay, RIGHTS- for a decent bathroom.

1.  Ipanema (General Osorio) 
A little difficult to find a place here unless you go to a restaurant.  The place I use the most is the bathroom in the McDonalds at Visconde da Piraja and Vinicius de Moraes.  About 5 mins walk from the metro but there are several restaurants that would let you use the bathroom if you just smile sweetly enough and bat your eyes a little.  Also, asking if you can use the bathroom rapidinho seems to help.
There is actually a bathroom right in the metro station too (located at the cashiers counter and before you pay) but it's not very nice.  It's just convenient.  

2. Copacabana (Cardeal Arcoverde)
I believe the street is actually Cardeal Arcoverde but either way, it's the main street out of the subway that goes towards the beach and has a Bob's on the corner.  The Bob's bathroom is always out of service but if you walk about a block from Bob's, there is a little botequo that says "Bathroom: R$2".  Again, if you smile sweetly and say "rapidinho" they won't charge you the R$2 and it's clean enough.

3. Flamengo (Largo do Machado)
The best bathroom here is in the Oi Futuro building, located on 2 de dezembro.  It's on the right-hand side, halfway down and it's a free cultural art centre.  You go in (don't mind the guards, they always look at you accusingly but you don't have to pay) and take the elevator to very top floor (8th) where there is a little cafe with a very nice bathroom.  They also have free wi-fi and some F'd up exhibitions on regularly so, while you're at it, stay a while to take in the craziness inside Oi Futuro. 

4. Centro (Carioca)
I have yet to find a free bathroom here but I did find a decent pay-bathroom in this little downstairs mall that is in the same complex as the Bob's Restaurant, located directly outside of the Carioca metro station.  You go down the escalators and pay R$1.50 to use the bathroom.  Just remember, you have to pick up your toilet paper on the way into the stall.  Definitely forgot that about 17 times already.

5. Centro (Uruguaiana)
Lots of Fast Food restaurants like Bobs, McD's...

6. Centro (Cinelandia)
The worst options for bathrooms are in Cinelandia.  Yes, you can use the Bob's on Presidente Wilson but it's actually disgusting.  The only option I would really suggest is to sneak into the Vale building on Santa Luzia because they have a bathroom on the main level so you don't have to check in with the front desk.  Just make sure you're not wearing shorts or Havaianas because the dress code inside is strict and you don't wanna mess with them.  The bathroom is so worth it though ;)

In Barra da Tijuca it's much easier to find places to go to the bathroom because there are lots of malls that have bathrooms.  Barra Shopping has bathrooms apparently made for Queens so whenever possible, go there.

Reminders when using all public bathrooms:
-squat, don't sit
-throw paper in the garbage (even though it goes against every moral fibre of your being)
-wash your hands and try to open the lock and door with a paper towel (I've seen some nastiness out there)
-have fun!  It's a free-for-all in there so go nuts

Hallowe'en in Brazil

When you move to another country that doesn't celebrate the same traditions as you, you start to really understand which holidays are near and dear to your heart. You all saw the Thanksgiving dinner Ro and I put together. This is one holiday very special to me. It's more sappy nostalgia than anything, but the idea of family getting together, giving thanks for good fortune, and sharing together is a very important tradition to me.

There's one more holiday that really touches me.  Really makes me feel all warm inside.  It's a holiday that I don't think I could leave behind very easily.  

And that holiday.  Is...
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HALLOWE'EN!!

 
Helllllls yeah!!!  Hallowe'en is The Shit. I freakin' love it. You're damn right I wanna carve a pumpkin and dress up like an 80's aerobics instructor whilst eating Hallowe'en size serving after serving of delicious chocolate covered whatever!
You're damn right I do.

So, I forced my family into celebrating another of my favourite traditions last night. Alright, who really needs to be forced into cleaning out the guts of a pumpkin with your bare hands and carving a finely detailed face into its thick-ass rind with a steak knife, then being forced into watching a horror movie while making yourself sick on chocolate.

Yeah, you see why I love it? It's amazing.

We fully went out and spent R$60 on the two biggest pumpkins we could find. We did pretty well I thought! The outside of the pumpkins here are more white than at home but the inside is juuuust as orangy and perfect.

Then we spent R$130 MORE on chocolate, alcohol and movies. Ahahaha aha.

It was the perfect Hallowe'en. (Sans fake spider webs but I'll live).

It would have been WAY more hilarious if we had all dressed up but I think even that would be going too far. We're taking baby steps here in Brazil.

Anyway! Check out our work. I think you'll be proud.

No Brazilian Wives Here!

So ever since University (where I took many a Women's Studies course) I've had a little issue with male/female traditional roles.  Combine with it my aggressive and non-defeatest attitude and you have what some may call a feminist. 
At this point, I feel like some of these old ideas of male and female differences are ancient and stupid.  Like, who thinks that it's the men who should work and the women who should clean and cook anymore?

Oh, everyone in Brazil y'say?  Oh.

Well, maybe not everyone.  And maybe not so 1930's like.  But definitely 1950's.  Brazilian ideals of male and female roles has stopped in about 1950. 
For example, my inherited family's matriarch (my MIL) said to me today with searing pride in her eyes "Viu??  Viu o Rodrigo passou as ropas ontem??" (My husband did some of the ironing the other day because I asked him if he could help me with it). 

What kind of threw me off about her ecstatic joy that her oldest son had done some of his own ironing (see this post re how people view the oldest son in Brazil) was that a) I asked him do it. So thanks for helping when I ask.  And b) has she ever once shown the same ecstatic joy when *I* do ALL of the ironing, folding and putting away??? When I cook a whole meal by myself??? When I do 4 loads of laundry in one day???  When I clean and wash the bedroom, bathroom and her room??  Does she go running to Ro saying "Viu??? Viu o que a Lindsey fez hoje???"

No.  No she does not.  Because that is expected of me.  Nevermind the fact that I am working a full time job as well.  Nevermind the fact that just because I'm home doesn't mean I'm doing nothing.  I'm planning for my classes.  I'm working too. 

But being a woman in Brazil means that you are responsible for feeding and cleaning up after your entire family while they work and relax. 

Let's clarify that I don't DISAGREE with this.  I just firmly believe that if we're both working, we're both sharing the housework.  Equally.  None of this woman stays home to do all of this shit and man goes out to work.  I am used to, and enjoy, being the main breadwinner or at the very least, an equal breadwinner.  

There is a lot of sexism and inequality present in Brazil still.  You can see it in the way many people treat and look at women (or totally ignore them as I've experienced more times than I can count).  It's not even something people are aware of.  Just the same way that sexism exists in our language (the fact that we always say "hey guys" and many other examples I'll just not get into).  Brazil is a feminine and masculine language.  It's something that just exists culturally and was created a very long time ago.  It takes work to change a habit.  A lot of people aren't even aware that there's a problem. 

I never felt like an inadequate women/wife until I moved to Brazil and saw the role of the wife here.  There is so much responsibility that falls on women here.  I didn't grow up like that and even though Ro is a forward thinking person (which came from living on his own for several years in another country) I can still see that he is used to and ok with this dynamic.  

Sorry to break it to you but I will never be a Brazilian wife. 

More Life After Death

Death is sad for a lot of people.  I would even go so far as to say it's sad for most people.  It's always hard to say goodbye and let go of a loved one.  After someone dies, we mourn.  We collect the body, display it in a box openly for people to look at and say their final goodbyes, wish a speedy journey, etc etc according to whatever your beliefs may be.  

I have a bit of a different view.  I really don't enjoy looking at body of a deceased loved one.  It doesn't make me feel better or worse.  In fact, I don't like my final memory of that person to be an empty body which no longer even resembles all that a person was in life - alive.  While death is sad for me, I don't cry for the passed family member.  I cry for my family.  To see everyone so sad, to be surrounded by that sadness - that is what is more heartbreaking for me.

I can accept death.  I do believe in an afterlife.  I believe in spiritual energy and believe that it exists beyond our physical bodies.  While I am not a religious person by any means, I feel comforted by the fact that after we die, we will be reincarnated again to experience more challenges in the journey of perfecting our souls.

Why all of this death talk?... you may wonder.  Ro's grandfather passed away on Thursday.  To my surprise, they have the funeral the next day here (In Canada it is usually no less than 3 days later because of all the arrangements to make).  The Brazilian 'wake' means that family members stay with the body the entire day before the funeral.  It was explained to me that in Catholic tradition they used to stay with the body for 48 hours to make sure that the person had really died and wouldn't rise out of a 'fake' death confused and alone. 

Morbid? Yes, but it's been known to happen.

The one thing I liked about the Brazilian traditions was that you could go and spend time with the body by yourself and could say what you wanted, or pray, or just be with the person privately.  Something that has always made me uncomfortable about North American traditions was standing up at the front of a crowded room with your whole family, looking at the dead person, touching him/her, crying... it never felt normal or natural to me.  I always think "this isn't even them anymore".  It's like a projection or something.  I'm not into the whole open casket theory.

Something they don't do here that I like about North American funerals is close the casket and have a 'funeral'.  People get up and speak about the person who has passed.  They talk about nice memories.  Good things the person did in life.  What we will remember them for.  It's nice because you learn things, special things, that you may not have known.  It makes everyone feel a little bit of happiness to have known that person.

One thing that remained the same, however, was family.  There is nothing like death to bring a family close together.  Everyone needs each other, isn't shy to cry in front of one another, no one is afraid to hug, to give comfort, to offer food, or any other comforts... It was time for us to all to stop and be together.
I actually think that on a personal "family" level, it was a good ledge for our immediate l'il family to communicate and catch up - something we don't do even living in the same house.  It kind of erased any and all petty feelings or arguments that were possibly being harboured and gave us a clean slate. 

So, because they didn't do it officially, I feel the need to give a little eulogy for Ro's grandfather.

Although I only knew him for a short time, he was one of the most welcoming, warmest people I met here in Brazil.  From the first moment I called him 'Vô' and he treated me like a granddaughter.  He complimented me.  He impressed me by speaking all of the English that he remembered as a once young man who could speak another language.  I felt comfortable speaking to him in Portuguese, even in the beginning when I was scared to speak to anyone else.
From the handful of times we spent together, I learned things about him.  He laughed at everything.  Although I have heard that in the past his laugh could have been heard from 7 floors down, all the way down the street, it was now just a soft chuckle but still ever present.  I learned that he loved samba music.  He loved camping.  I learned that he had loved his wife immensely.  The kind of love we all want to have.  I knew how much he missed her. 
I knew that he couldn't have been very comfortable but he never complained.  We watched the Canadian winter Olympics together and he pointed out every time a Canadian athlete was competing.  He was thoughtful and considerate. 
He is the grandfather that I never had in my adult life (my only living grandfather passed away when I was young - maybe 10 or 11 years old).  I know what an impact he made on Ro's life and from speaking with family and friends on Friday, I know what an impact he made on their lives as well.  "He was just the best" was the most eloquent and to-the-point comment I heard said.
I wish I could have known him for longer but I feel grateful to have had him in my life at all.
Vai com Deus Vô... te amamos para sempre

Christmas time at Vô's

Carnaval!

Ruffles Don't Taste the Same in Rio

 It's true, folks.  They don't.  For any of you hoping to find the same comfort snacks you go to at home in North America/Europe/GB, look again.  Or stock up. 

First, I'm a chip fan.  Well, I'm also a big chocolate fan.  But I often crave chips.  Salty, original Ruffles to be exact.  While, YES they do have Ruffles here (original as well as Steak flavour or cream cheese???) (oh and P.S. they pronounce them HUFFLES - beware when asking) they just don't taste the same!  Not quite as salty or the potato is different.  I can't put my finger on it exactly.  But I have discovered a LOVELY alternative to my adored Huffles. 

Sencacoes!  They are the Brazilian equivalent of Lays but are much saltier and therefore much more delicious.  Ya baby. 

Another issue I have is with the size of chocolate bars here.  In Brazil, chocolate bars are only sold in HALLOWE'EN CANDY size.  This is ridiculous frankly.  When I decide I want chocolate, I am committing.  Committing to the caloric intake and committing to the amount of chocolate I want in my belly.  This 75 calories a bar stuff, well, it just isn't enough.  But then again, when I think about it, I'm satisfied after eating one.  And it's pretty ridiculous that they sell KING size chocolate bars in Canada.  So fine, Brazil.  You can have this one.

Final gripe about snacks in Brazil is COOKIES.  Brazil has never seen a cookie.  This is what Brazil thinks is a cookie.  

Your eyes do not deceive you.  They are all small, hard and perfect circles.  Often filled with an icing in the middle.  They don't even have Oreo!!!  Oh sorry, they have 'Negresco.'  Not Oreo.  If you're gonna do small hard and perfect circles, at least make it an Oreo.  The only one here that is a square shape is Passa Tempo which I will vouch for because Passa Tempo is daaaaaaamn good. 

But where are the Christie chocolate chip cookies?  Oreos?  Mrs. Fields softies?

Bah!  I'm going to eat my 75 calorie Twix (that and Snickers are the only American chocolate bars you'll find!)

 

Is a Stereotype a Stereotype for a Reason?

Let us discuss, for a moment, the Brazilian Stereotype.

There are many a stereotype in the world.  Here are a few (as taken from this site:
Here we have the Canadian Stereotype:

Canadians – submissive; neurotic; agreeable; modest; open-minded; progressive; efficient; straight-forward; polite; respectful; anxious; law-abiding; orderly; caring for handicapped/elderly/minorities; tolerant; multi-lingual; moderate; no hero/celebrity worshiping; don’t like successful people; anti-American; passive; boring; socialist mindset; eat blubber; wear funny hats; live in igloos further north (they forgot drink a lot of Molson Canadian)

And here we have the American Stereotype:

American – arrogant; assertive; open-minded; materialistic; ambitious; progressive; efficient; straight-forward; alert; practical; US-centered world view; egoistic; anxious; fast food eaters; war mongers; God is with us!

British Stereotype: 

British (UK) – drinkers; lousy food; stiff upper-lips; ultra-traditional; steady-on, old chaps; bulldog spirit; bad teeth and hygiene; rude; thin; smoke cigar or pipe; scruffy hair; “fitted” clothing; heavy binge drinkers; swear all day long; artistic; “fashionable”; deep thinkers; intelligent and articulate; boastful; anti-American; ride bikes; God save the Queen!

And just because I see some people in France are reading my blog (Sacrebleu! lol), here we have the French Stereotype:

French – good lovers; best cuisine in the world; chaotic; irresponsible; introverted; selfish; cultured; social “players”; do not like to work – prefer to strike; always surrender in war; don’t speak English; rude to tourists; anti-American; ungrateful; live in a bureaucratic Socialist system, totally dependent on the state; don’t use soap; arrogant and conceited; distant and difficult to meet; don’t respect religious freedom; snobs; God who?

And now for the Brazilian Stereotype:

 Brazilians – body-centric; party animals; impulsive; incestuous; megalomaniac; most women are super-models, most men are gay or machos; always late; carnivals addicts; soccer and coffee lovers; criminals and robbers; lazy/manana attitude; bean and meat eaters; beach and sun-worshipers; bikini (called: dental floss here) inventors; active; inventive and constructive people; always trying to outwit government and regulations; impossibly favor-oriented; family- and community-oriented

The whole point of this post started because in the last two days (and of course on other days as well) I've heard some very negative stereotypes about Brazilians being spoken out loud.  By Brazilians.  It seems to me that Brazilians have a very negative stereotype of themselves and I really didn't understand where it came from.  In Canada, at least, the impression Canadians have of Brazil is beautiful women, small bikinis, beaches, carnival, soccer.  At least, that's all I really knew about before meeting a (real life!) Brazilian.  Of course, it's a true stereotype but maybe it just perpetuates the Canadian stereotype that we're all so nice and open-minded, that we really wouldn't have a negative opinion about anyone anyway (except Americans of course!)!

Anyway, the only things I ever hear Brazilians saying about themselves is that they are lazy, hate working, and steal everyone's shit.  Oh that, and they are all so friendly because they kiss hello (and North American's are cold because they don't).  Getting off topic!  Note to self: Don't turn this into a rant!

In the last two days I mean, I've heard 2 Brazilians talking about how Brazilians hate working and if they didn't have to work they wouldn't.  And they were telling this to their BOSS!  And the 3rd guy said that in Canada, the reason Canadian are able to carry our bikes on the front of busses (side story) is because no Brazilians live there!  They say in Brazil, you would never be able to do this because someone would steal your bike.

I just wanted to get to the bottom of whether or not certain stereotypes exist cross-culturally and if these stereotypes are generally true or not.
What do you guys think of this stereotype?  I personally have never even seen this type of behaviour in 'real' Brazilians.  At least, no more than you see it in any other culture.

Not in the same way I see Canadians in their funny hat wearing, law abiding, boring way.  Not the way I see Americans eating fast food and being big war supporters.  Not the way I see the English with their lack of a good dentist or stiff-upper-lips.  Not the way I see the French wearing berets and carrying a french stick in a basket on a bike.  (Wait they really do that and I LOVE it!)

The point is, stereotypes exist because 'apparently' the majority of the population is like that.  According to the website I acquired this info from though, it says that “National character stereotypes are not even exaggerations of real differences: They are fictions.”

I dunno though!  You tell me - what do you think of your own stereotype?  Is it true for a lot of people or totally off?

Friendly Shmendly!

Goddamn it!  I've been so emotional the past couple of days.  I finally hit my rock bottom as I sit here bawling my eyes out to the Biggest Loser!  I find that I go through these phases about once every month...  They always happen around every 28 days... it's just so strange!  I can't figure out what on Earth would cause me to feel a little sad every 28 days.  Not a clue.

Anyway, I'm tearing up now because the fatties on Biggest Loser just got to call home and, well, y'know, sad sad tears sad. 

Seriously though... this show is so sad sometimes :'(

I also cried while watching the Shakira video of Waka Waka Whatever (y'know, the World Cup song?)  So I'm pretty sure I'm not a very reliable source of what is genuinely sad and what is not.

I had kind of a flip out moment on Friday night as well.  I know it's a combo of my being sensitive but also of experiencing something that I have experienced more than a few times here in Brazil.  This thing is Brazilian Rudeness/Lack of Social Skills.

It started out as an awesome night.  Ro and I going on a date to Outback (where he works), drinkin' some beer, eating some junk food.  Always a good time.  What I maybe wasn't expecting was the constant line of people coming up to the table to talk to us.  It's cool.  There are some people there that I've met that I like.  They are friendly. They talk to me and include me in the conversation.  I try really hard to pay attention, understand and contribute.

But there were also some people who were not these things.  One girl came up just because she heard I was there and she wanted to look at me.  The only problem was I was not in the mood to be looked at.  In that way.  That way where I am foreign and different and she doesn't want to 'know' me, she wants to look at me.
Another friend came up and had several lengthy conversations with Ro while completely ignoring me.  In that way where you talk to one person directly and don't even glance in the other person's direction.
Another guy came up to us, said hi to Ro, shook his hand, said hi to the waiter friend serving us, patted him on the back, and didn't even look my way for a second before leaving!  Totally snubbed!

I just don't get this.  After the third time, even Ro's nice waiter friend commented on it. "Some people just don't have good social skills".  Ro said "I think it's a cultural thing."  Cultural thing?  Try really rude thing.  

I don't think it is a cultural thing because not everyone is like that here in Brazil.  But this specific situation has happened to me on more than one occasion and it makes me feel so invisible and unimportant.  Not to mention it's just f'ing RUDE.  It really just widens the gap I feel here with making friends with Brazilians.
*I have to repeat though that IT'S NOT LIKE THIS WITH EVERYONE.  In fact, I've met some really really awesome Brazilians who I think I can consider my friends.*

Maybe if this situation happened in another weeks time, I would be able to just brush it off but on Friday it just hit me like toothache.  Annoying, painful and... toothy??  Terrible simile.  Whatever! It hurt my feelings a lot.  I just felt like such an outsider.  Anyway.

Lookin forward to our bloggy date this weekend!  I want to see you all!!!  Even (especially) you guys who have to travel far distances.  Plleeeeeeeeeease come!