Here's to Hoping the World Doesn't End!

Well, almost a month has gone by since my last post and so much has happened.  It's not fair for me to keep it all to myself.

Side note** I imagined that moving to Botafogo would have given me more time - more time for blogging, class prep, and all of the indoor activities I was used to doing.  Our move has done the exact opposite (not complaining) but more time outside and spent with friends means less time for blogging.

In the past month since my birthday I've:

Had 4 visitors
Taken the train to the Cristo
Rode the bondinho  to Pao de Acucar
Taken 1 trip to the Tenda Espirita de Umbanda
Read 2 books
Done 5 consecutive days of yoga (dotted with several other days)
Gone to the beach 3 times
Bought a ticket to the Carnaval Parade

That's of course not even everything but that's what has taken up the majority of my time for the last few weeks!  So far 2012 is off to a great start, with no apocalypse in sight!  

My first two visitors were my mom and sister.  It had been a year since I'd seen them and while the year went fast, so much can change in that time.  I notice the changes in myself so much more when I am reunited by my family and friends from home.  You might say I've become more 'Brazilian' - I don't know if that's necessarily true but I guess we are all a product of our environments.  I certainly like to shower more and clean my house more, wink wink (but I still ALWAYS take my shoes off when I enter the house, because shoes in the house is just gross to me!)

I wouldn't say I'm becoming more 'Brazilian' because there are so many things about Brazilian culture that I still don't identify with, and probably never will, since I didn't grow up with the same understanding of the world from Brazilian eyes.  Now my eyes are broader (in terms of cultural experiences) than those of my (my specific) Canadian peeps and of my Brazilian peeps.  That makes me neither more Canadian nor more Brazilian, it just makes me 'me'.  A combination of experiences that could relate with both sides, but at times makes me feel very removed.

I have big fears of our inevitable move back to Canada.  It's taken a long time to 'assimilate' into Brazilian culture.  To learn the language, the general rules of society, how to get around, what the prices of a pineapple should be.  A lot of blood, sweat (a freakin' LOT of sweat) and tears (also, a BUTT LOAD of tears) have gone into getting myself to the point I'm at today - a point where I feel I'm actually growing as a person: not standing still, or worse, moving backwards.

I feel like it will be difficult to find common ground with people once I'm back home since this huge period of constant adjustment has been the centre of my life for so long.  It's the first time in my life that work, money, clothes and 'things' have played so little importance to who I am.  


I know these things are very important to Canadians (whether they like to believe that or not).  

They were very important to me, too.  They are still important to me, to my happiness.  But they aren't the centre of my happiness, like I always felt was the true race to life.  To work as much as possible, to make as much as possible, to have a big house, to buy a lot of things, to have a car, to travel everywhere... I feel like I can see things with clearer eyes now.
 
Maybe I can say that because I've found my true calling with English teaching - my job doesn't feel like I'm torturing my soul, like it used to.  My true love of language, of teaching others, of sharing information, connecting with people, seeing the product of my work... What if I can't find that again when we move back to Canada?

Living in another country is like being on a permanent holiday.  Everything is different and new every day, even if you're doing it for the 100th time - it's not the way you grew up doings things.  No matter what level of Portuguese you are, you are always hearing a foreign language on the street.  Drinking coconut water at the beach still feels like a special event.
There is something very exciting about living life this way.  Even when nothing really happens, so much is happening every day. 

I think that's why my husband would prefer to live in Canada.  If it gave him the same feelings it gives me living in Brazil, I can't blame him.  Although for him, it's a much different sensation, I'm sure.

The reality is Canada is easier.  Canada is more organized.  Canadians are polite and they look out for each other, in general.  In Brazil, you're fighting the fight alone, give or take a few specific situations that bring the community out in people (Danielle and I talked about this exact topic while at the Farmer's Market by my house - the Market is a place I see a lot of community, but step outside the streets of the market and a car is sure to run you down).

Anyway, I didn't even get into more details of what I've done the last month but it has generally been a great month of reflection for me.  I also want to talk about the Centro of Umbanda that we went to, which was very interesting and awesome.  If you haven't heard of Spiritism in Brazil, or Umbanda (which is not the 'black magic' one) check out the wikipedia def that I linked up above.

Other than that, my cats are lovely, my friends are lovely (Danielle and Alex's weekend here was GREAT GREAT GREAT), and JIM has totally made it possible for me to experience my first Sambodromo during Carnaval!  Woo!  2012 is looking fine!  (as long as the world doesn't end!) 

P.S. We aren't moving back to Canada any time soon but we have been doing some life planning which has got the question coming up in my mind... Never hurts to think about it. 

Does anyone else have the same fears about re-assimilating into your own culture?  Or have the experience of actually doing it? 

It's Boxing Day! But where are all the boxes?

I can't figure out what to do with my day today.  In Canada (as in the UK), today is Boxing Day.  That means Holiday.  That means giant sales.  That means more family time, ultimately making Christmas a 3-day long event, which is followed on the 27th by my birthday and the 31st by New Years. 

This week is otherwise known as a giant holiday week where I do as much eating and as little working as possible.  So why'd I go to work today???? 

Right.  Because I'm in Brazil. 

Working on December 26 just feels wrong!! It makes the Christmas holiday feel incomplete somehow!  (I'm whining for nothing - I only actually had one student today, but my HUSBAND has to work and I'm a little lonely without him here) 

So, it doesn't really feel like Monday OR Boxing Day, but this weekend happily felt like Christmas for me.  December 24th is the Big Day in Brazil, where everyone gathers together (at my Aunt's house in our case) to eat a TON of food, drink a LOT, and wait for midnight.  At midnight everyone shouts Feliz Natal! Feliz Natal! and runs around hugging and kissing and smiling and laughing.  Then, even without children there to announce it Tom, someone inevitably shouts Amigo Oculto!! which is the Brazilian version of Secret Santa. 

My Christmas sounds a lot like Tom's actually, I swear we are part of different families!

Well, as Tom explained, the game in Brazil is to describe your secret friend in a tricky way and make the others guess who you have.  I try to distract myself while waiting for my name to be called because when it inevitably is, that means two things:
1.You have to gratefully accept your gift (in Portuguese)
and 2. You have to describe your secret friend in a funny and clever way (in Portuguese). 

Luckily for me, just the way I speak Portuguese is funny enough for my family so it's usually not toooo much effort, apart from a little embarrassment (but I'm used to that by now)!  Just to be sure, I practiced my speech for about a week.  All four sentences of it.  It turned out great.

 This year we also celebrated with my immediate family "Canadian Style" on Christmas Morning.  Laura brought stockings for me on her trip here last month, so everyone had a full stocking to open and after we opened up all the gifts to each other.  I got the feeling that everyone liked my family's tradition of opening presents one person at a time, from youngest to oldest.

Only a few tears from me this year, on Christmas Eve morning!  As soon as the sweet Carribbean sound of Boney-M's "Mary's Boy Child" started up, I couldn't control them.  Listen to it and I dare you not to cry.  Haha.  Love that album!  I hope everyone had a nice holiday!

American Party

It's a complete coincidence that this post is falling on the 4th of July; it has nothing to do with America's Independence Day.  (First because I'm Canadian, and second because it's just not).

It IS about a concept that is new/strange/totally uncommon amongst Brazilians (at least in MY circle of Brazilians, before you Brazilian readers blow your socks off).  This concept is the POTLUCK party.

As the picture indicates, a Potluck party means that all guests need to bring a plate of food to share!  What an awesome concept, you say?  I KNOW!

However, when I presented the idea to our B-zilly poss, EVERYBODY'S HEADS EXPLODED.  I kid you not.  Nobody could really comprehend the idea.  "We have to BRING something?"  "We have to COOK it OURSELVES?"  "We can't just bring a bottle of wine??"  YES, YES AND NO!

Now, I understand that there are several possible reasons that this misunderstanding existed.

1. I was writing a Facebook Party Invitation in Portuguese.  Perhaps there was a little bit of language barrier.  But even after I seeked the help of a Brazilian friend who wrote the actual message for me, we were still met with confusion.
2. I was trying to describe the party, calling it a Potluck.  I didn't realize there is already a name for this party.  It's called an American Party.  Go figure.
3. This was a birthday party.  In Brazil, you do not bring anything (minus a gift - which is always a tshirt???) to a birthday party.  It's fine to bring food to a Festa Junina.  But a birthday party, no.  Usually birthday parties are at a restaurant, or they're catered, or feature a full pizza rodizio, or maybe MAYBE the host will prepare the food, but asking people to bring food has quite possibly never ever happened in the History of Birthday Parties in Brazil.  Ever.  (Based on complete non-fact).
4. Finally, once everyone seemed to understood the concept of a Potluck, they could not understand why they had to physcially make the dish themselves.  This was by far the most challenging aspect.  I was met with 'I have no idea what to cook", "I don't know how to cook!", and "I'll ask my mom to cook something."  Crazy!!!!

With all do respect to my crazy, lovable, Brazilian peeps, I know things are different here.  That being said, after all of the confusion, everybody managed to come up with something totally awesome and creative to bring and the result was a table FULL of delicious home-cooked food to share!

And of course, we provided all the drinks, including a full make-your-own caipirinha station.  That's how the Potluck works!  

Woohoo!  I did it!  Maybe this is the start of more Potlucks to come here in Brazil.  For us, parties at home are where it's at.  Here are a few of my tips on how to make your party more special (and cheap!).

• Create an event on Facebook and message your guests regularly.  You don't have to be annoying; just remind them and get them excited for the big event.  
• Decorate with unexpected surprises - for example, 10 balloons are cool but 100 balloons are stupidly cool!!!
• Stick to one colour (or two) for a classier look.  We went with green and silver and used streamer paper to put on the tables and then covered them in plastic for protection. 
• Rearrange the furniture to make sure people aren't separated from each other.  Or if they have to be, at least so there are distinct areas (we had a sit-down conversation circle and a games area)
• Expect that there will be spills and messes to clean up.  Have lots of paper towel ready.
• Make sure you have too much.  Too much alcohol.  Too much food.  Too many napkins.  Too many plates/forks/knives.  You never know how much people will want to indulge!
• You better make sure that music is pumpin'!  Make a great playlist that will keep going for a few hours so you don't start repeating. 

Happy Partying!  Oh, and P.S.  Happy Birthday to the love of my life!

Hallowe'en in Brazil

When you move to another country that doesn't celebrate the same traditions as you, you start to really understand which holidays are near and dear to your heart. You all saw the Thanksgiving dinner Ro and I put together. This is one holiday very special to me. It's more sappy nostalgia than anything, but the idea of family getting together, giving thanks for good fortune, and sharing together is a very important tradition to me.

There's one more holiday that really touches me.  Really makes me feel all warm inside.  It's a holiday that I don't think I could leave behind very easily.  

And that holiday.  Is...
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HALLOWE'EN!!

 
Helllllls yeah!!!  Hallowe'en is The Shit. I freakin' love it. You're damn right I wanna carve a pumpkin and dress up like an 80's aerobics instructor whilst eating Hallowe'en size serving after serving of delicious chocolate covered whatever!
You're damn right I do.

So, I forced my family into celebrating another of my favourite traditions last night. Alright, who really needs to be forced into cleaning out the guts of a pumpkin with your bare hands and carving a finely detailed face into its thick-ass rind with a steak knife, then being forced into watching a horror movie while making yourself sick on chocolate.

Yeah, you see why I love it? It's amazing.

We fully went out and spent R$60 on the two biggest pumpkins we could find. We did pretty well I thought! The outside of the pumpkins here are more white than at home but the inside is juuuust as orangy and perfect.

Then we spent R$130 MORE on chocolate, alcohol and movies. Ahahaha aha.

It was the perfect Hallowe'en. (Sans fake spider webs but I'll live).

It would have been WAY more hilarious if we had all dressed up but I think even that would be going too far. We're taking baby steps here in Brazil.

Anyway! Check out our work. I think you'll be proud.

Thanksgiving Dinner - part two

Well, we accomplished the biggest cooking task of our lives thus far.

Two days of cooking + two appetizers + five main courses + two desserts + one giant bottle of vodka + 40 cans of beer + 6 bottles of wine + one new dress = a freakin' awesome party!

I had a GREAT Thanksgiving.  It was just like home.  My Brazilian family all together, eating, drinking and being merry.

What was really touching was how 'into it' they all were.  It can be difficult for some people to be genuinely interested in trying something new, especially when it's someone else's cultural tradition. 

But my fam was so awesome - They were really into the tradition of saying something that you're thankful for.  We had the usual "I'm grateful that everyone could be here together, I'm grateful for all of the food we have, I'm grateful for the cook (hehe) etc." but Ro's cousin really made me all mushy inside when she said "I'm grateful for new cultural experiences" (or something to that extent). 
They complimented us endlessly on the food (I'm now allowed to get married as goes the favourite Brazilian saying "agora você pode casar!").  Then Ro's uncle gave me the biggest compliment, following tradition perfectly.  He fell asleep.  Love it!  Here are the pics....

All tuckered out....

 Great night with great people!!

Things always get better!

I have spoken A LOT of Portuguese this weekend.  I'm drunk right now so I can't really go into a lot of detail, but not for lack of trying!!! 

Sunday night - GOD this 'weekend' (Sunday - Tuesday) feels like a weekend for me.  All of my Monday students cancelled because of Brazilian Independence Day today.  All of my Tuesday students as well!  But why doesn't anyone do anything for Independence Day here?!?!?!?!  Fireworks?  Barbeques?  Parties??  No???

Então, I spend the afternoon grocery shopping with minha sogra and partying with minha cunhada.  GOOD TIMES!  I'm glad I convinced my MIL to go shopping because I'm pretty sure that if I hadn't helped her, she wouldn't have gone. Food in house, check one.

My SIL invited me to a barbeque (not for Independence Day - just a coincidence) of a friend who I know so I went and ended up knowing a couple of others there (hey, what's this now? I know people in the neighbourhood??).  It was a good ol' caipirinha time there.

On Sunday night I went ALONE to a churrasco at my husband's Aunt's house.  Alone without my husband but with my family.  Afterwards the cousins went to Casa Rosa in Larangeiras.  That place was really fun.  And really fun going with some peope who I can actually consider my FAMILY.  I've never gone out with my cousins before so I feel priviledged that my 'new' family lives close and I can spend some time with them. 

I really wish I could be more specific right now but I'm more or less just reporting on what's new.  I really like reading Fiona's blog because she has articulated so much nicer the things that I felt (and still feel) about adjusting to life here. 

All I can say, people, is that it gets better if you want it to.  You just have to find the things you like (it's not always easy - it takes effort, sometimes a lot of effort and sometimes too much effort) and, like Rachel said, you can't be picky about your friends.  You may just find yourself spending time with people, though, who you never expected to be friends with.  It's kind of a fantastic thing, this living abroad. 

Sometimes I feel like I can't stand it anymore and sometimes I feel like I could live here forever.

Family Ties

My family (and family in law) is something I don't like to write about very much here.  I'm sure you all understand, it's not really an appropriate outlet for things that are so important. 

I will share, however, some good things.  All of you out there in bloggy land who are married to or are in a committed relationship with a foreigner understand to great degree how challenging it can be to have in-laws who don't speak the same language - literally and metaphorically.  This was one of my biggest fears moving to Brazil and so it isn't overly shocking how true it's proven to be. 

It's really important to me to have a good relationship with my in-laws.  For one thing, we all live together (that's mother-in-law, father-in-law, sister-in-law, husband, myself, one cat and one dog in a 3 bedroom apartment). 

As if that weren't challenging enough, we are constantly faced with communication difficulties.  I was terrified to be alone with my in-laws without my husband for about the first 4 months or so of living here.

Over time, as my Portuguese began to improve, I was able to spend time alone with my sister-in-law and mother-in-law (my father-in-law travels a lot with work and so there hasn't been the same opportunity to spend time with him).  Plus, based on my own personal family dynamic (growing up with my mom and sister) it's extra important and extra special for me to develop good relationships/friendships with my female in-laws. 

Yes, they have methods and rationals that I don't always understand.  Ro's mom really REALLY loves Ro, which can sometimes be difficult for me (maybe it's jealousy really - I'm used to be smothered with love from my own mom!)  Sometimes I believe this is a cultural thing - the oldest son in the household is always praised and adored. 

Anyway, every single experience has helped me get to know Ro's family better. 

Today it was just Ro's mom and I in the house.  Although we still don't have the closest relationship, I really try to show her that I care so I helped her clean the house.  I mopped and vacuumed her room and my own.  Later, this evening, I went to buy beer so we could drink a beer and watch the novela together. 

We spent time chatting a little, laughing at Nina playing, drinking our beers.  Simple conversation but definitely much more complex than we could say 8 months ago!  It's good.  I can live with this relationship.  At the very least, we've all learned to sit comfortably together in silence. 

Anyone else have foreign in-law experiences to share? Language challenges? Cultural barriers?