The Next Chapter

Nothing to report lately - except obvious baby stuff but I don't want to fill this blog up with that.  That's what my Facebook is for ;)  Oh, and my English classes, Skype sessions with Mom and every waking second with my husband. 

Clearly I have baby on the mind and it's kind of taking over everything. 

But, well, I also have other things on my mind... like Canada.  So it's official.  We're moving back to Canada.  I'd say permanently, but seeing as our lives will be forever divided between two countries, I can't say that for sure.  I can say for sure that two months from now our bags will be packed and we will be on our way to the airport to close one chapter of our lives and open another one. 

While I'm completely certain that this is what I want, and feel like we're currently in a good place emotionally/spiritually/mentally in Brazil to say goodbye, what I'm having the hardest time with is the actual finality of this adventure. 

The first bit 20/29 months of my Brazilian life were really really really difficult.  I was not very happy, not in a great place, going through a lot of personal challenges... but after we moved (for the FOURTH time in 2 years!) things took an incredible turn for the better.  I actually started to see Brazil more clearly as my haze of hatred lifted.  There are many things I can credit (like our new neighbourhood, finally having friends close by, less travel time, and more culture - and don't forget, I started seeing an amazing psychologist).  But things really did get better.  I am happy now. 

Now after getting through almost two years that felt like they would NEVER END, I can't believe we only have two months left!  It's this bittersweet feeling that I've been grappling with lately.  There are a lot of things that are not ideal about Brazil, but there are a lot of awesome things that I'm going to miss as well. 

Portuguese is one of them. 

Also, farmer's markets.

Beautiful scenery.

Easy get-away weekend destinations.  (and I only just started getting into these!)

Friends who 'get' the difficulties. 

Being 'the foreigner'.  

Teaching English privately.

And especially, being close to Ro's family, and my second family. 

Two months is not long before we say goodbye to these things for a little while.  I think, however, I've become addicted to change so I'm really anxious and excited about starting anew.... As hard as things have been, I'm leaving this country more aware, accepting, patient and adaptable than when I started.  It's been a journey I wouldn't change for anything! 

Moving to Zona Sul....?

The view of Pão de Açucar from Botafogo Beach

We are so close to moving to Zona Sul I can taste it and it tastes like a delicious glass of cold milk after you just ate a big piece of chocolate cake.  (P.S. Milk.  It's that delicious.)

Don't believe me?

So, the apartment in question is in the lovely neighborhood of Botafogo.  It was always a neighborhood that I thought really fit my personality - Botafogo has a lot of good restaurants, cool and interesting bars, big trees, bike lanes & parks, a neighbor-ly personality...

It's also the home of 'our football team' (put in quotations because that would imply that we have a team, which we do not, but everyone in Brazil MUST have a team.  I'm pretty sure it's a federal law. So, our team is Botafogo).

Anyway, I've compiled a list of reasons why moving to Botafogo from Jacarepagua will greatly improve my quality of life:

1. The sidewalks are not broken into a million peices. 
2. You don't have to walk up a gigantic hill to get to the apartment, and then walk up another giant hill once you enter the condo just to get to your building.  (It's like a mountain)
3. The buses are comfortably full, not literally bursting at the seams.  
4. You have a variety of options for restaurants and bars.  And no, Bar do Tio Joao, Tio Paulo & Tio Orlando do not count as 'variety'. 
5. There are actual trees, not sprouts of grass that have found life through the dusty cement.  
6. People understand that at 6:30 a.m., on a dangerously crowded bus, it's inconsiderate to scream and laugh LOUDLY, sounding like a bunch of parrots, and give the bus driver fliers (while he is driving at about 100km/hr) about buying purified water filters, while I am holding on to the railing with the tips of two fingers and my backpack in my other hand.  (true story, happened to me yesterday). 
7. I hope to God people don't do number 6 in Botafogo. 
8. THE METRO!!!!!
9. I have friends close by! (Bia, if you are reading this, you still live far away from me, even in Barra!)
10. Leme Beach, Praia de Botafogo, Rio Sul Mall, Metro, Friends, Bars/Restaurants, Culture, Theatres, Parks, Bike Lanes, Close to Work = QUALIDADE DE VIDA!

Ahhh!!!  Guess what?
Ro just called!

WE GOT THE APARTMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'M MOVING TO ZONA SUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Things I've Started to Appreciate

I've had an epiphany of sorts and it's helped me turn my frame of mind.

When I first got to Brazil, I was pretty consumed with everything I missed about home and every aspect of Brazil that didn't live up to my desires.  But I've met a friend.  And I've moved into my own apartment.  For anyone who underestimates the importance, value and raw necessity of friends and personal space - I am your living proof that these two elements alone will improve your quality of life x 1,000,000.  I exaggerate you not.  Especially if you are living in a foreign country. 

If you want to be really really happy, you should also get a cat or two and some plants.

I'm currently mothering two little cats (we got a second one in the last 2 weeks! Little José... ) and I'm growing basil, lemon balm, corriander, green onion and cat grass.

I also read the bible to orphans on weekends.  haha.  No, no I don't do that. 

Things I currently like about Brazil:

- Eating fresh mamão (papaya) in the morning with honey from my BeeHive Keeper.  Ok, yeah right, I wish I had a BeeHive Keeper but I coincidentally met this guy at the market on Sunday who keeps hives so he's my unofficial honey provider. 

- Salgados all varieties, but most preferably joelho's - tasty little bread shaped knees filled with delicious ham and cheese or other wonderful flavours.

- Fresh herbs sooooo cheap and SOOOO BEAUTIFUL.  The most beautiful basil I've ever seen.  I swear I would divorce my husband just to marry a bunch of basil.

- Cats!  I love 'em, I pet 'em, I kiss 'em, I talk baby talk to 'em, I have two of 'em... cats cats cats!






***PICTURE STILL UNAVAILABLE! SORRY!***

- My apartment!!!!!!!!  It's so comfortable and AWESOME to walk around your own house in your undies or less.  Or more!!! Hey!  It's my house and I wear what I want!

- Cooking so much food.  Extra spicy and extra onions (my MIL would absolutely curl up her face in disgust at both of those options).





Ahhhhh.... life is GOOD!  We live in an apartment surrounded by favelas (Cidade de Deus is literally right down the street), and it's fantastic.  It's real.  It's hard.  It's simple.  It's Brazil!

Happy Braziliversary to me!

 Today marks one whole year in Brazil! 

You heard it here first, folks.  I survived one year in Brazil.  Let's celebrate by reflecting on my 'Brazil' goals from last year, before leaving the homeland.

 

"I've created a few personal goals in my head (which come just before my mental list of things I still need to buy from Mary Kay before I go - 3 bottles of After Sun the best product EVER!) One of my goals for this adventure is to become more accepting and less judgemental- especially if I don't agree on a certain point. Husband has made me very aware of this flaw - in a caring way of course - but I do realize that when I disagree I get pretty strongly opinionated about it. I also realize that this makes the person I'm talking to feel like THEY are stupid, not the idea... I may be aware of that... so I'mma try 'n work on it.

Goal #2 - Hey let's just go ahead and turn this into a list -
Learn how to speak Portuguese fluently enough that I can have easy conversations, I can understand what is being said in a group of people, and I am not constantly translating in my head.

Goal #3 - Learn how to live in another country (why not try... ohhh... Brazil!) Learn how to be more wary and cautious, open minded, careful, learn the city, learn who to avoid, etc. In Toronto I feel pretty comfortable to walk home by myself at 1 in the morning and not even be talked to or even to drop a 50 on the ground and have someone pick it up and give it back to me :D

Goal #4 - My favourite goal - give to directions to a tourist who needs to know how to get somewhere in the city! Achieving this goal will make my whole experience SOOOO awesome and will prove to me that I am a LOCAL! If nothing else happens, I hope I achieve this goal. Well, I suppose all goals will have to precede this one so... let's just go for 'em all!"

Things I would miss about Brazil

Well, I'm coming up on my one year anniversary in less than 2 weeks and, coincidently (or not), I'm also heading home for the holidays for the first time since we arrived.  All of this has got me really thinking about the things I'm now going to miss leaving Brazil in search for the things I was missing about Canada for the first, oh say, 11 months of being in Brazil.  (This last month those feelings have been dying out a little bit but that may have to do with the fact that I will soon be at home, eating me some curry and Thai food.)

So, some of the things I will and would miss about Brazil (it took me a little while to get to this place of appreciating things here enough to miss them):


1. Bakeries and fresh bread every single day.  Well, let's just stick to bakeries, plain and simple.  I love the bakery around the corner.  I can go have a nice little breakfast of suco da laranga and misto quente any time I want.  If I have a craving for a Twix, my little corner bakery has the fix!  (Rhyme not intentional but staying!)  If I want to have a beer, the bakery is near! (Now I'm having fun).  You can even do a little mini shopping at my little mini bakery.  Actually it's a giant bakery.

2. Drinking chopp.  Chopp is draught beer and it isn't draught beer at the same time.  It's its own special Brazilian version of draught beer.  So super cold and small enough that it stays that way until the end.  I don't think I can go back to pints. 

2b. Chopp anywhere, anytime.  Yep.  No joke.  Favourites would be quiosques (kiosks) by the beach, the little hole-in-the-wall bars in zona sul, or, as mentioned above, the bakery!


3. Body comfortability.  Ok, this one's a bit of a contradiction.  Cariocas (The Brazilians from Rio for anyone who didn't know that yet...) are ridiculous about their bodies.  I'm serious.  These people are working out in the gym for inhuman lengths of time and at least 8 times per week. 

On the flip side, if you go to the beach, you gots your crazies but you ALSO have your OTHER crazies.  The crazies who are totally comfortable with their bodies, albeit some may say they 'shouldn't be wearing something so small'.  Y'know what? It's given me a HEALTHY view of body acceptance and I LOVE Rio for that.  I see that everyone just lets it all hang out (for some that means more than others) and it's so refreshing to see that people are comfortable with themselves, regardless of media-invented images of beauty.

Ladies and Gentlemen, how many of you out there have TRULY accepted your body the way it is?  How many can say they TRULY love themselves and their bodies??  Not even me, but I'm really working on it and Rio is helping.

4. Ice cream!!  Some of the best ice cream is here!  Sooo good on a hot-ass day.  I've actually never eaten so much ice cream in my entire life put together as I have in my first year in Brazil.

5. Speaking Portuguese.  Ironic?  I will really miss speaking Portuguese.  Jesus, I worked so hard to get my Portuguese down, I don't want to lose it!  Learning a language is hard folks!  If you already learned it once, don't screw yourself over by forcing yourself to learn it again.  So grateful for my Brazilian other half!  I's lucky.

6. The Beach.  Did I actually say that?  Ok, so it's no secret that I'm not a giant fan of going to sit in the sand for hours on end, but I do like running and biking by the beach, drinking coconut water at the beach, and sitting in a quiosque on a Saturday afternoon listening to the families come out to drink and shoot the shit.  Also, I love to watch these guys working on their tan.

7. People Selling Shit Everywhere.  Although I don't really buy stuff from the vendors very often, I'm not opposed and it's nice to know that if I needed something, it's right there.  I love the guys who jump on their bus selling "jujubes um real, amendoim um real, chiclete 3 por um real, paçoca um real" and I love how the bus drivers let them on for free until they get to their stop.  Nice camaraderie!  It's nice to see that there are jobs for many people, even if they aren't the most ideal or appealing. 

So, Brazil, at the end of one year, there are things I can truly say I am enjoying about you.  I've met some great people here, I've discovered my career, I've learnt a new language and I've spent a lot of time with myself reflecting (and now I know I need to see a psychologist regularly 'just to talk')... but all good!  Looking forward to the next year!  But first.... home time!!!

Livin' it up in Centro

I have a love/hate relationship with Centro.

Ok, so let's get the negative out of the way first.

First, it's busy as SHIT.  And not in a 'wow, this city is lively! There's so much action going on!" way.  It's more of a 'move your ass and walk faster or get out of the way!!!' kind of way.  Add to the mix of sloooooooow-walking Cariocas the millions of vendedores selling crap that you would have never thought of buying in your life.  Rabbit ear TV antenna circa 1950?  A bootleg copy of Windows 95?  A squishy strawberry toy thing you can splat on the ground and watch it magically return to it's original shape?  A book light headband?  Ok, the book light headband I'll take but you can leave the other crap thankyouverymuch.

Then you have your 'flyer' guys.  These guys (and girls) are the worst.  They stand in the middle of the sidewalk giving out tiny pieces of what I can only describe as scrap paper.  I use the term 'giving out' lightly.  It's not really your option to take a scrap of paper - they are literally shoved down your throat and into your hands.  Sometimes 3, 4, 5 people right in a row.

Now combine the millions of slow-walkers, the seller guys (and don't forget the ones selling popcorn, cashews, candied peanuts and coconut, chocolate, gum, agua/coka/skol um real um real etc) the paper pushers, wrap it all up on really small sidewalks with maniac traffic by your side (let's be fair - also throw in that I'm late, as always, and lost) and you have yourself a goddamn mess!

P.S. This is a very special illustration of the area I love to hate aka. Uruguiana.

Now.  What I love.

Cinelandia and Carioca (the areas as defined by their metro stations).  Here you have the magnificence of old Rio.  Cobblestoned streets line the busy roads from a safe far distance and you have fantastic views of Teatro Municipal (which every day looks more and more spectacular to me).

Beside the theatre is some ridiculously awesome looking government building (I'm sorry I really don't know what the building is - Camera dos vereadores is what is being whispered in my ear). Across the street sits the Biblioteca Nacional, and you can find my feelings of this building here.

Today, while walking from Carioca station, I just happened upon this little outdoor theatre show that seemed to be centred around some Brazilian religious archetypes.  Later I learned it was the story of some important characters of Brazilian history.   I saw the story of Anastacia, a slave who suffered so many rapings and beatings they referred to her as A Santa (the saint).

The show was hardcore.  There were bare breasts and all.  The real deal.  It was very interesting and had a pretty huge crowd of people along with a helpful drunk guy homeless man who continuously blew a whistle (I guessed to add to the musicality of the show). 

After the show I found this little feira in the same park so y'know, I had to buy some R$2 earrings.

Then, walking back to Cinelandia I hear the Brazilian National Anthem blasting in the street.  It's a pretty majestic anthem and I must say, I do like it.

Anyway, I could see this homelesss guy up ahead (side note: the down and out are what add to the charm of Centro).  So this guy is really homeless and it seems like it's been a while since he ate or took a shower.  And he's, like, belting out the national anthem, pumping his hands to his chest in pride and all.  I thought, 'man, this guy is so clearly in a tough spot and could easily blame his country for his problems or for not helping him more but instead, here he is, proud as hell to be Brazilian and letting everybody know it.'

I smiled at him and gave him two thumbs up.

Today was sunny and warm and a very entertaining day in o centro da cidade. 

A little about my story

 I'm not sure that I've ever explained myself to anybody out there who reads this blog... (who isn't my mom or "live" friends that is).  I just thought I would take a minute and explain the story of how Ro and I met... it's not incredibly different in it's origins... we didn't meet walking our dogs on the street, or online, or in the grocery store.  (I don't think I'm brave enough for any of those scenarios anyway).

Actually we truly met because I drunkenly slept with his cousin one night after the bar (sorry my love).  Let me make that a bit classier sounding - if possible?

As I explained earlier, I had a bad experience in my last relationship that ended with me moving out rather quickly.  Around the same time, I hired a girl at the gym I used to manage who I believe was meant to be in my life for the short period of time that she was for a reason.  So I could meet Ro.  (ps. she is Australian and travels around everywhere, hence the short period of time. She's not dead or anything.)  So, during this difficult time I was going through, Aussie Friend kept inviting me out (and I wouldn't have gone had I been in said past relationship).  One night at the end of January she invited me to go to a Latin club that was having it's usual Thursday Brazilian "Student Night".  Hilarious first because I am several years beyond student night and second, because most of these students were first and second years.  Putting them in the 19-20 y.o. bracket.  It was Ro's cousin's birthday that night.

Back it up: Ro moved to Toronto from Brazil and had already been living there for 3 years.  His cousin was staying with him for 6 months on a student visa.

So, fast forward:  I don't need to go into detail.  You all know what a one-nighter is.

The next day, Aussie Friend and I are talking at work about the hilarity that ensued the previous night and what the hell happened and how Ro was so much more attractive than his cousin, but I really thought he was out of my league.  A few more days after that, I'm out having drinks with a friend and who sends me a lil facebook message but my FUTURE HUSBAND!  Very surprised, as we didn't really talk much that night, other than I gave him a drink from my secret vodka & water water bottle.  Anyway, his message says something along the lines of "Hey!  It's Rodrigo!  Since we're almost family now I thought it would be okay to add you!"

FIRST OF ALL!  Not almost family. no no no no no no.  Second of all:  I am SOOOO excited to get this message I tell my friend right away.  Later on I add him to facebook and check out his page.  He is clean of porn-y pages and lots of girls writing idiotic messages all over his wall, so checkmark.  But beyond that he has some really intelligent and interesting stuff on there... the one thing that caught my eye was he had the video of "The Last Lecture", the book I had just received for Christmas.  So that week talk a couple of times, until late late.  We have a lot to talk about.  He is really really nice.

"I am having a party this weekend", I tell him.  "You should come".

He does.

I tell everyone when I find out he is in the parking lot that my boyfriend is here (but don't tell him I said that).  I already really like him a lot.  At the party, he is quiet, but I'm impressed because he came even though he doesn't know anyone (aside from Aussie Friend, who he barely knows).  I decide that I would enjoy his company in the morning.  :)

And from that first night we were inseparable.  Actually, he came back over the following afternoon and we saw each other every day that week.  We decide the next week that we would like to try living together (we decided to risk it because he was moving out of his current place and was planning a trip across Canada in June anyways so if it didn't work out it would only be for 4 months) (oh and p.s. I was in love with him).  So 3 weeks after meeting he moves in.
Then, on March 13, 2009 (5 weeks from meeting date and one year ago today!) he whisks me away to a complete surprise destination where he proposes to me.  (We had already said I love you long before this and had also talked about potentially getting married).  Perhaps later I will go into detail about the most romantic, beautiful proposal ever but not tonight.

Now, I already knew that Ro was planning to move back to Brazil in September, and of course since it has been my dream for several years to teach English abroad, I decided that we should move there together.  We decided to get married in May so that I would have enough time to get my Brazilian Permanent Visa (so I can work here) before coming.  And so we got married in May and moved to Brazil in December (by the time we got everything worked out).

And now we're here.  Our original plan was to stay for one year and then work for a cruiseline for another year but we're just not sure what we want to do still.  Goal number one is get a job but we still have a bit of time before we have to do that.

Anyway, that's our love story!