I've got the 'gripe'

Sick, sick, sick.... It's terrible to be sick.  It's great if you're faking it to get a day off work but as usual, karma bites you in the ass and then you really get sick.  I don't know what I have exactly but anyone in Brazil will tell you that if you're sick, you've got gripe.  Technially it means flu, and I could have the flu in this case, but even if I just had a sore throat, or a sniffle, I've got the gripe.  To me, it sounds like I've got the clap.

Side Note****In case that sentence wasn't 100% clear, I do NOT have the clap.  I just think that I've got gripe sounds like I've got the clap....

One thing I miss about Canada is being sick.  'Say what??', you ask?  It's true.  In Canada (with its mostly uninhabitable plains, where people live in ice and snow year round*) it's really common to get all kinds of sicknesses.  They come in with the chinook winds**.  But this means the pharmacy is always stocked up with all kinds of cold and flu medicine.  With CLEAR images and descriptions on the box to verify if what you got is what this medicine will cure.

Brazil doesn't have the same cold-and-flu season popularity as Canada does, so when I walk into the pharamacy it generally takes me a long time to figure out what I HAVE first, then I can decide what I need.  It doesn't help that, to me, Brazilian medicine all looks exactly the same.

What I have found in terms of over-the-counter medicine is that they generally will treat cold & flu symptoms like:
Runny nose: Coriza
Fever: Febre
Nasal congestion: Congestão nasal 
Headache: Cefaléia
Body Pain: Dores Musculares

Ok, that's fine.  But every single over-the-counter med does the exact same thing.  Where's my all in one medicine for a sinus and chest cold?  Or, in my specific case this time, sinus and sore throat?  In Canada they got this covered.  But I guess the common cold is to Canada what dengue is to Brazil?  I'd like to see them come up with a quick diagnosis for dengue in Canada.

As a final observation - something that is very common, potentially dangerous, but at times super convenient - is the ability to buy prescription medication from the pharmacist without a prescription.  For me, this was kind of awesome because I have always suffered from terrible sore throats.  I always visit the doctor during these episodes and they always prescribe me amoxcicillin.  I've had them so many times that I can completely tell when one is coming on and how bad it's going to get.  It's pretty handy to just walk into the pharmacy and ask for my amoxcicillin without going through the hassle of visiting the doctor's office.

Now, I know that I takes my meds responsibly and I take them until the end.  I can't speak for the rest but I can definitely take a guess that this generally isn't true for many others.  Now they are really tryin to crack down on prescription meds only with prescription.  Hell, we even tried to buy some last night and we got rejected.  Now I'll have to find a rogue pharmacist who can support my habit - er - my basic needs.

Probably won't be so difficult.  We are in Rio after all!

Dear Son-of-a-bitch Who Stole My Bike....

This was my actual bike

To the stupid a**hole who stole my bike yesterday while it was parked (AND LOCKED) in front of a busy finance office on Praia de Botafogo where I was giving a class for only ONE HOUR, please kindly burn in hell.

I don't want to believe you stole my R$1000 bike to sell her parts for R$50 to support your drug habit.  I want to believe that you desperately needed a bike because you can't afford the bus.  Because you needed a way to get your kids to school.  Because you wanted to be a delivery boy and it was the only way to get the job.  I want to give you the benefit of the doubt that you weren't just a stupid jackass and believed, for some reason, that you were entitled to what was mine, just because it was left locked and unattended.

Am I the sucker here?  I locked my bike.  Why do I feel so guilty?  Like I didn't lock it enough... like I should have put two locks on it.  Or I should have tried harder to find a garage to put it in.  Like I got too comfortable and this was just a bit of reality stabbing me in the kidney just to put me back on the right track.  The track of fear and mistrust.  I hate this feeling.  I want to be able to trust people and to live in a safe place where I can leave my bike locked on the sidewalk in front of a busy building and trust that nobody will steal it.  I want to at least trust that a bystander on the street would see a guy with BOLT CUTTERS cutting the lock off my bike and try to stop him...

I've been told, and I believe, that I've been very lucky living here for almost 2 years.  I've never had any kind of trouble with theft, or even with suspicious people.  I take the bus alone. I take my IPhone out on the bus.  I walk through tunnels.  Things that people constantly tell me not to do, I do.  Because wtf!  I don't want to have to give up my right to freedom!  Sometimes I swear that if I were robbed I would not give in easily.  But again, I've never actually been in that situation so I can't say for sure how I would react.  In my 'robbing fantasy" (yes, I have fantasies about being robbed - well, they're more like daydreams) I always grab the guys' weapon and scream "No! You give me YOUR money!" and they get scared and run away and I'm a hero.

But I dunno.... I can't really trust that I'll follow through on that... especially since everyone who comments here will say "Are you crazy!  Just give him everything he wants!"  I know, I know.... 'thing's aren't worth your life'.  I agree.  I just feel so pissed that my husband worked so hard, saved his money for months, bought and surprised me with this beautiful blue bike, and some jackass comes along and takes it.

Probably to sell for R$50 to support his drug habit.  Prove me wrong, thief.  Return my bike and prove me wrong!

Here are some pics of me enjoying some beautiful days on my bike.... Tear!  I love you my beautiful bicycle!

Getting a Manicure in Brazil

Just got back from one of the most aggressive manicures I've ever had here in Rio.  Manicures are a very interesting experience.  Nothing like your tender, relaxing manicure from home (at least in my experiences they have always been a relaxing experience).  That's not to say you can't find that kind of experience here too, but when you enter into the salon that says "Mão e Pé: R$20" you know you're not going to get the tender relaxing experience.

You're gonna get the 'let's do this as fast as possible so we can push more people through the salon' experience.

My toes are burning!  Bitch cut my skin off!  Lol, sorry for the foul language, but really.  That was one of the sloppiest mani/pedis I've ever had.  She really went to work.

A little advice if you're going for your first (or millionth) time, I really really stress that you need to keep a completely open mind.  In the beginning, it will seem like a giant mess.  Plus, everyone does it a little differently.  They really go to work hacking off any little tiny speck of cuticle (even the invisible specks) causing you to bleed occasionally (and then they put some sort of anti-bleeding foam on the wound).  You can see they are prepared for bleeders.  They don't always put your hands and toes in water.  Especially at these 20 dolla places, they usually just spray your tips and put a glove on you.  Haha.  Even as I write this I can't believe how cheap it sounds.

After you've gone through the wet, cut, and file period, they SLLLOPPP on the nail polish of your choice.  Whatever colour you want.  Slopped right on there.  Everywhere.  Then they sllloppp another coat over top of that.  Next they remove nailpolish at the tip of the nail with their thumb, leaving an ugly little white line at the top, sort of like a french manicure but ugly.  Next they remove their messy work using a pointy little stick and some cotton and polish remover.  Seems a little backwards, but ok.  I don't see why you didn't just put it on neatly in the first place, but alright.  Finally, a little oil to dry you up quick and pull the whole thing together.

This was my first impression of manicures here.  Now.  Funny story.  I went back to Canada last Christmas, if you recall, and had a manicure there.  Guys.  It was terrible.  I see the benefit to slopping on the polish.  That way you cover the whole nail.  I see the benefit to massacring my cuticle.  My hand looks so light and skinny after.  I see why you leave that ugly little line.  It helps keep my nail polish from chipping!  The oily substance in the end really does dry the polish faster.

So all in all, my verdict for best manicure goes to BRAZIL!  I guess once you go bloody massacre, you never go back.

Cutting your Hair in Brazil

If you came to this post looking for some helpful tips on how to find a good hairdresser or useful vocabulary to help you with cutting your hair while in Brazil, move it along.  You ain't gonna find anything helpful here.  In fact, if you HAVE helpful tips or useful vocab, PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD post them in the comments!

It's taken me 2 years trying to find a good hairdresser, trying to build up some helpful vocab, trying to show pictures and explain (at least with actions) what I want.  I've never gone back to the same hairdresser twice.  I've gone back for a re-cut about 5 of the 7 times I've had my hair cut.  I've cried afterwards 4 of the 7 times.  It has been truly traumatizing for me to find a hairdresser.

I think it all started when I was about 8 years old and my mom took me to her hairdresser, a bald European man named Ram.  I cried after that cut because "I looked like a lion and I didn't want to look like a lion".  Damn beautiful mane.  There began my complex.  

The problem is that I have such a SPECIFIC idea in my mind, that no other cut can live up to what I am imagining.  Trust me, I have done serious research so that I can explain accurately the tool needed for some effect, or how high my layering should start (in English, of course).  I am a freak, I know it.  I just wish I could cut my own hair.  Oh, ps.  I've gone home and cut my own hair MYSELF all 7 times I've had my hair cut in Brazil. 

So hair cutting time arrived again yesterday.  I looked for lots of pictures online because this time I was getting a drastic cut.  This time I was going short.  I've had short(ish) hair all my life - I like it better on me and I think it looks way more modern and cool.  This long hair business in Brazil was overwhelming (see: about 80% of women have long long LONG hair).  I tried to grow it just to fit in a bit better.  In fact I've been growing it out for the last year.  But I've been getting sick of long hair.  It's just not me.

So yesterday I went to the salon.

I have this idea that more expensive is better - I don't know if it's necessarily true but I want to believe that they are more experienced or it's more difficult to get into the fancy salons.  I went to a pretty big chain here called Werner's (tip: It's 10% cheaper if you go Monday-thursday and it's 10% more on that if you pay in cash.  But it still costs freaking R$62 after all those discounts.  Ugh).

Fast forward to the end of the cut.  I didn't like it (obviously) but I asked him to fix up a few parts here and there.  Problem is, my vocab is limited to "Eu queria que ele ficar mais curto aqui, Nao queria tao comprido.  Pode usar aquela coisinha (make action of a razer slicing) para cortar este parte aqui?  Na verdade, eu queria mais (make action of different levels in my head implying layers)".  So you see, it's the filler parts , the most important parts, that I have trouble with.

So at home, I started to hate the cut.  That and my husband didn't react with a lot of excitement, so then of course I was in a bad mood for the rest of the night.  I decided to go back today.

I hate going back because they always look pissed off, like I interrupted his lunch (which I probably did since I went in at noon).  The guy said "Fala" when he saw me, so abruptly so I abrubtly said "I don't like it anymore".  Haha, blunt gets blunt!

This time we sat down at the chair and he spent another hour with me trying to decipher my made-up language.  This time, I told him the name of the hair cut I wanted.  Lucky me, he recognized it.  (Tip: LEARN THE NAME OF THE STYLE YOU LIKE!  ASK YOUR HAIRDRESSER BEFORE COMING TO BRAZIL SO YOU CAN TELL THE HAIRDRESSER HERE THE NAME OF THE CUT.  Sometimes they know, sometimes they don't, but it's helpful).

So without further ado, here is a before (a few months ago) and after of my new hair cut!

 Am I cute?

Botafogo Baby

AAaaaahhhhhh!!! (Imagine it's angels singing that heavenly note when something magical appears out of nowhere ... 'aaaaaahhhhhh')

HALLELUJAH!  I. HAVE. ARRIVED!

I'm writing this blog from my new couch in my new apartment in my new neighbourhood - BOTAFOGO Y'ALL!

Life is like, spectacularly good.  I'm serious.  Is it even possible that my mood can change so drastically that I can now actually understand WHY people like this city?  Because I do. 

This morning I woke up at a completely reasonable hour, laced up my running shoes and went for the most beautiful run I've (ever?) been on.... It was really really lovely.  I'm running on Praia de Botafogo (Botafogo beach) and in one direction, I'm looking at the Pão de Açúcar and in the opposite direction I'm staring directly at the Cristo statue.  Surrounded by warm sun, calm water and moutains?  Are you kidding me??

We've been here since Thursday and life is feeling completely different already.  Gah, it's impossible to explain how peaceful I feel. 

That could also be a combo of acupuncture and psychologist working (which I found, by the way!)  But I'll save those for a future blog.  Just a little check in for today!

Acupuncture in Brazil

One of the items on my list of goals last week was to start acupuncture.  By start, I mean start completely from scratch and add Portuguese into the mix.  Hoorah!

I've never done acupuncture before but I've heard really REALLY good things about it.  Everyone that I know who has done it (and there are a surprisingly large amount of people who have), has said it fixed them right up.

Now, the traditional view on acupuncture is that is helps with pain.  It sure does.  But did you also know that it is also very effective in treating emotional difficulties as well?  People use acupuncture for stress, depression, weight loss (rather, controlling your food intake), sleep disorders and general well-being.

I went for all of the above. 

As I briefly mentioned before, I just came out of another rather lengthy bout of depression that left me feeling pretty directionless and, in spite of sounding melodramatic, hopeless.

But I've taken medication in the past for depression and I don't like what it does for me.  I am really determined to beat, or at least control, my depressive episodes chemical-free and as holistically as possible.  For one thing, I personally enjoy holistic activities, so it's almost a morbid excuse to pursue a hobby when I'm in a state of depression.  Kill two birds with one stone.  har har.

So, acupuncture.  Have you done it?  You should.

I found my acupuncturist by looking on the website of my health plan, Amil.  On the Amil website you can look up services by which plan you have.  Pretty simple.  They let you search by neighbourhood too so that's what I did.

The first appointment was a consultation where the doctor asked me a lot of health-history related questions.  It was a real interesting experience, trying to understand in Portuguese.  First, he asked me if I experience TPM.  Well, what the hell is that Doc?  It's that period that women go through... when they menstruate.... Ahhhh... PMS.  Later on, more vagina-related questions that were awkward as hell to act-out.  Even our hand puppets were feeling uncomfortable, as they shamefully tried to demonstrate what secreção vaginal anormal might mean.  (abnormal vaginal secretion).  Lovely.

But we got through it with only a few tears.  Literally, I cried at one point.  But only a little.  Ok, actually a lot.  It was stressful!

Today's appointment was the real thing.  The nurse took me into a tiny private room and told me to put on the gown, opened at the front.  That gown barely covered the back half of my body, even though I shouldn't be uncomfortable with full-frontal nudity in front of strangers anymore in Brazil.  I did try my best to at least cover my privates.

Then the doctor came in and I lay down on the paper bed while he did some tappy tappy thing on my rib cage and asked me to stick out my tongue.  (Do doctor's still ask to look at your tongue??)  He had shown me the needles in the consult and assured me that they are so small, they could fit inside a standard needle.  Basically they are even thinner than a pin.

He stuck the first needle right in my forehead, which I thought was an interesting place to start, because that didn't freak me out at all.  I wish I could literally write sarcasm into words.

Then he continued down my body.  Two in my sternum.  One in my belly.  Two on the side of each bicep.  Two on the side of each calf.  Two on the tops of each of my feet.

He explained that he would leave me for 10 minutes and then *someone* (because I didn't understand *who*) would come in and warm up the needles.  Huh?  That part I didn't understand but, as usual, when you don't understand something in Brazil, you just say yes until you learn what it is you have accepted.  Then you know whether you like 'that thing' or not.  Fun times.

So I waited.  I was fully aware of the needles on the entire left side of my body because that side was pulsing strongly.  I felt that the equilibrium in my body was totally off and was especially not liking the left side.  It pulsed like that for about 3 or 4 minutes before finally relaxing... and I mean really relaxing.  Everything felt very peaceful.
My heart beat was also very loud and strong and with every beat, it felt like a big ball of energy was passing itself back and forth over my chest, from needle point to needle point.  It was crazy and I was so aware of this feeling of flowing, moving energy!  It was like a ball of energy that actually had some weight to it, floating back and forth over my chest.  Very cool and interesting sensation. 

After the forewarned 10 minutes had passed, the nurse came in with this smoking thing (no idea what) and she proceeded to HEAT UP the needles.  Ahhh... so this is the elusive *someone*.  And hot damn, that's hot!  She really heated up the needle in my belly to the point that I almost said something, but she stopped before I could and left me for another 5 minutes.  Then she told me I was free!

After I left the consult, I was feeling pretty good, but I'm not sure how much of that was purely psychological.  I did read that when treating emotional conditions, acupuncture usually takes about 4 sessions to notice a different.  Either way, I'm really happy I went and plan to go back every week for more.

So, anyone else have super interesting stories of how acupuncture changed their lives?   For good or bad?

If you're interested in knowing more, this is a good article which talks about if acupuncture is for you or not. 

Lazy Sunday...

A redundant title for today... Every Sunday = LAZY for me!

Today's lazy Sunday weather is: Rainy.
Today's lazy Sunday's breakfast is: Pancakes.
Today's lazy Sunday activity is: Watching a movie with my cats.  Yes, we do this together.  Shut up!
Today's lazy Sunday chore is: Ironing.  Simply because it's gotta get done and I didn't do it on Spectacular Saturday.  

I think I'll add vacuuming to my Sunday chores because, damnit, there is cat hair is everywhere!  Damn all this cuddling with my adorable cats! 

Also, just for your own personal pancake-eating pleasure, I'm posting the recipe for the most AMAZING, perfect-every-time, even-your-Brazilian-Inlaws-will-love-them, pancakes.

Kudos to Amelia, and her delicious blog, for the recipe!

Here are some tips to making perfect pancakes:

1. Before you ladle on the pancake batter, wipe access butter off the griddle with a folded paper towel. This will make sure you have perfectly browned pancakes.

2. Use all purpose flour in the batter. Cake flour can turn soggy when you top it with syrup. Experiment with different flours like buckwheat or whole wheat just substitute half of the all purpose for any of these.

3. Never whisk batter until it's smooth. Lumps are a good thing and will result in fluffier pancakes.

4. Flip pancakes just as the surface bubbles begin to burst. Flipping them after makes for flatter pancakes.

5. When adding blueberries, bananas or chocolate chips (only some of the many additions you can make) sprinkle them over the batter right after they have been poured on the griddle. This will make sure they are distributed evenly and it also makes them look prettier on the plate, which can sometimes be just as important as how they taste.

6. Warm pure maple syrup before serving. It makes for a certain extra little bit of specialness to the morning (or evening, whatever, no judgement here)

Here's a good (basic) recipe that should keep 'em coming for more:

• 1 cup all-purpose flour (spooned and leveled)
• 2 tablespoons sugar
• 2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1 cup milk
• 2 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted, or vegetable oil
• 1 large egg
• 1 tablespoon vegetable oil
• Assorted toppings, such as butter, maple syrup, confectioners' sugar, honey, jams, preserves, sweetened whipped cream, or chocolate syrup
• Directions

1. Preheat oven to 200 degrees; have a baking sheet or heatproof platter ready to keep cooked pancakes warm in the oven. In a small bowl, whisk together flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt; set aside.
2. In a medium bowl, whisk together milk, butter (or oil), and egg. Add dry ingredients to milk mixture; whisk until just moistened (do not overmix; a few small lumps are fine).
3. Heat a large skillet (nonstick or cast-iron) or griddle over medium. Fold a sheet of paper towel in half, and moisten with oil; carefully rub skillet with oiled paper towel.
4. For each pancake, spoon 2 to 3 tablespoons of batter onto skillet, using the back of the spoon to spread batter into a round (you should be able to fit 2 to 3 in a large skillet).
5. Cook until surface of pancakes have some bubbles and a few have burst, 1 to 2 minutes. Flip carefully with a thin spatula, and cook until browned on the underside, 1 to 2 minutes more. Transfer to a baking sheet or platter; cover loosely with aluminum foil, and keep warm in oven. Continue with more oil and remaining batter. (You'll have 12 to 15 pancakes.) Serve warm, with desired toppings.

HAPPY SUNDAY EVERYONE!